SUBGENIUS XMAS SALE ENDS THURSDAY

The holiday rush is on, but we can still take orders up until midnight, Thursday Dec. 18. It's the SubGenius holiday of Xistlessnessmess, during which we unshackle our factory workers and send them home for a couple of weeks. BUT! If you order a gift by late Thursday, it can go in the mail on Friday and you or your intended victim will have it by Xmas.

What if X-Day happened on Xistlessnessmess Day? It wouldn't be the first time vast numbers of humans were slaughtered by an Act of God on Dec. 25. You'd hate to see your loved ones go unordained and unsaved on that day just because you procrastinated, dragged your feet or were dead broke.

ORDAIN YOURSELF OR A FRIEND

Even those who have become ordained ministers in the Church need the three major bibles of our religion. Of course, everyone already has THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS, but many SubGenii consider REVELATION X to be better, and the Third Testament, Psychlopaedia of Slack THE BOBLIOGRAPHON, to be better yet.

ALL BOOKS WE SELL ARE SIGNED BY YOURS TRULY, REV. STANG. That has actually been true for years, but we thought this Xmas we'd actually MENTION that fact.

SUBGENIUS BOOKS


Illiterates might be happier with our primary DVD, ARISE! If you haven't seen the new improved version (updated 2005), you have not even LIVED. There are several more recent SubGenius DVDs available as well. The great thing about our videos is that they are not copy-protected. When you buy one for yourself, it's like you are buying one for all your buddies as well.

SUBGENIUS VIDEOS


But the greatest gift of all, short of Salvation, is a subscription to THE HOUR OF SLACK so that every week for 6 months, you or your begifted one will receive the uncensored version of the same professional audio CDs that the radio stations get.

HOUR OF SLACK GIFT SUBSCRIPTION


Another good deal would be any of our MP3 stashes on CD-R. With one $15 purchase you can have up to 80 Hours of Slack, or mixed media barrages, music and devival recordings.

SUBGENIUS MP3 COLLECTIONS

And of course there are hundreds of designs on shirts, hoodies, baby clothes, mugs, buttons, posters, mousepads, geegaws, etc., at our sprawling SubGenius Store on CafePress.

THE SUBGENIUS STORE

WE KNOW YOU ARE SUFFERING FINANCIALLY, now that the EconoCataclysm has arrived (just as "Bob" predicted in 1977!). We too feel the emptiness in your wallet. But your heart and brain need not go empty just because you are dead flat-ass broke. WE STILL OFFER FREEBIES GALORE on our website, latest of which is:

THE INFINITELY RECURSIVE DOBBSHEAD SCREEN SAVER
(Only for Windows PCs, sorry)
This intense visual hypnosis device was created by Rev. Frank Force and you can download it directly from him via:

RECURSIVE DOBBSHEAD SCREENSAVER

Of course, Hours of Slack are always available for free download, and this week we're offering our traditional SubGenius Christmas Rerun, an incredible barrage of over 70 different tracks, each of which takes a truly SICK or otherwise deranged bite out of the holidays. If the Christmas Carols that run incessantly and annoyingly on the Muzak speakers in your environment are about to drive you completely nuts, this show is the antidote. That's Hour of Slack #1183. The previous show, #1182, is also Christmas-y, albeit disrespectfully.

HOUR OF SLACK XMAS SPECIALS


Get those Xmas orders in by Thursday Dec. 18 and we'll have them all in the mail by Friday Dec. 19! If your order is a gift you want sent to someone else, simply put your friend's name and address in the "SHIPPING ADDRESS" box.

In the meantime, we at The SubGenius Foundation wish you and your pals an extremely Slackful holiday.

2008 Baltimore Devival Pix, Audio on SubSITE, a.b.s.

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/Baltimore_2008/index.html

That link goes to my still pics (and one very short video of Rev.
Susie the Floozy) as well as photos from Nigel and CosmicDebris.
There's also a link to MP3 audio of most of the ranting from this
first-class, first-water devival. (My pulpitside mic, on radio4all.)

The photos on SubSITE are relatively small for quick loading on your
browser.

Much higher-resolution copies of my photos, including several that
aren't on SubSITE, are on alt.binaries.slack, for your
mass-downloading, printable-copy pleasure.

The a.b.s. versions average 1 mb in size, suitable for printing,
whereas the SubSITE versions are made for quick viewing, only about 80
kb or so max.The otherwise-censored stuff is on a.b.s. too.

A SubGenius Halloween plus Ask Me About My GrandYeti

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/pics13/Halloween_2008/index.html

Photo gallery of:
Halloween in L.A. and our Jack-Off-Lanterns inluding Punkinsaurus
Halloween (last night) at the Slackermansion in Cleveland Heights -- Floppy "Bob" greets all our trick-or-treaters (or at least the ones who would allow photos of themselves to be taken)
Some other Haunted Mansions in Cleveland Heights
L.A. Miracle Photos and ASK ME ABOUT MY GRANDYETI (he was born the day after my birthday, 10 weeks ago)
Somewhat Less Miraculous L.A. and Nearby Desert Pics (Deep Creek Hot Springs -- remote Bobtism spot in the Mojave)

BAD NEWS IN REV. MAGDALEN'S SUBGENIUS CHILD CUSTODY CASE!

DETAILS HERE.

In other news, the DEVIVALS OF YORE section of SubSITE has been updated with many photos, videos, audio downloads and text reports about the Devivals and festivals of 2008. See also UPCOMING DEVIVALS concerning Baltimore and Amsterdam events in November.

X-Day! Dobbs Cloisonne Pins and Cufflinks! Updated Graphics Orgy on SubSITE!

Joyous News! The world ends next week and you MAY die!

You definitely won't, however, if you're right with "Bob." In fact, you'll live forever, and then some. And the rightest of the correctest of what's left of "Bob" will be ushering out the Old Age and welcoming the Sex Goddesses from Planet X at our favorite official X-Day Landing Strip, Brushwood Folklore Center in far western rural New York State. This will be the thirteenth time we've partied to excess in full expectation of the Apocalypse and the Rupsture, and we're getting good at it. We are expecting an unusually large turnout this year despite the way the Conspiracy deliberately raised gas prices just to defeat this festival.

Even if you can't make it to New York's Amish country by July 5, you might enjoy the vast array of soft-core promises and photos from previous X-Days, as well as the lively Instructions about what to expect once you get there. None of it is safe for work, or mental ward, but all of it is at our X-Day XI SITE.

Joyous News! HUGE NEW TUNNEL EXCAVATED IN THE SUBGENIUS ART MINES

We've made it an X-Day tradition to console the unsaved and the non-traveling by posting on our website all the best graphic work and short mini-videos that have been created by SubGenius artists since the previous such excavation. Besides the latest volumes of work by the Giants such as LeMur, IMBJR, iDRMRSR and Heart Ignition, we also present the perverse 3D "movies" of bO-nana, some screen-crushers, amazing NEW artists like Pan-Demonium, inspiring documented Proof of "Bob," vignettes from SubGenius Life, and even a new Hall of Assholes (or "LOL ASSHOLES"). There's a lot more than you can imagine, even if you're God, at:

ART MINES TUNNEL 24


Joyous News! The Dobbshead Cloisonné Pins are Back -- with CUFFLINKS!

SubGeniuses have wept over their inability to procure these incredibly slick pieces of SubGenius jewelry. The second they were out of stock, everybody wanted one.

We just got the first shipment from our new manufacturer. These are quite an improvement on the original design! There are FOUR colors now, and the Sacred Rim of the Ultimate Pipe-Bowl is now outlined in white, as is doctrinally correct.

The cufflinks are a brand new product -- just like the fine enamel pin, but with cufflink attachments in back.

HOT PICS at this catalog page link!

If you miss X-Day, you might console yourself with a devival at the same location during Starwood, the huge festival from July 22-27 also at Brushwood. Details here.


OTHER SUBGENIUS OUTREACHES
Don't forget the many other ways to contact your fellow SubGeniuses besides SubSITE:

Alt.slack, the greatest "kook flypaper" ever invented:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.slack/topics

The SubGenius Reverends Blog: http://slackoff.blogspot.com/

The SubGenius Yahoo Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/subgenius/

Modemac's SubGenius Wiki and Bulldada News Blog:
http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl

The Euro-SubGenius Yahoo Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Euro_SubGenius/

And everything else listed on our Contacts Page:
http://www.subgenius.com/contact.htm

You can chat live with strange SubGenii at the main SubChat room:
http://www.subgenius.com/subirc.html

And The Hour of Slack radio show is new every week, and besides the many broadcast stations that carry it, you can also download it or get podcasts from http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

SubGenius Class Starts on Monday!

MaybeLogic Academy Online Course:
Running Your Own Cult (Do's and Don'ts) and
HISTORY OF THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS
Presented by Rev. Ivan Stang and other SubGenius Old-Timers
8-week multimedia online course from April 28 - June 22

http://www.maybelogic.org/stangcrs.htm

This isn't held in a classroom in Ohio. This is an online course that takes place on a slick interactive multimedia website. You can "attend" from anywhere in the world, and you can log in any time of day or night. Everything can be downloaded and saved for later, too.

Last year, we had exactly 50 online "students" sign up. Many signed up after the classes had already started; I guess word got around. I wasn't expecting such a large online audience, and really went overboard. Each week I wrote a chapter of text that described various parts of SubGenius real-life history in hopefully funny detail, and I scanned hundreds of documents from each period so that the students could read our older zines, early works, and even organizational notes and letters to each other. (For instance, the correspondence between us and R. Crumb, and Mark Mothersbaugh, are included, as are the outlines and basic scribbled notes that became Pamphlet #1 and THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS.)

I spend a lot of time describing the high points and especially poignant or hilarious moments involving the bizarre characters we met over the years while developing "Bob's" Church. The idea was to find the real-life turning points that make good stories.

Because the Maybe Logic Academy website allows downloading of large files like videos and audio, I went through our archives of video and tapes going back to 1977. I turned hundreds of hours of audio into MP3s, and converted ancient VHS tapes to MPEG videos that any computer (and many DVD players) can play.

SubGenii may be interested to know that the course allows you to download, if you want to, THREE DVDs' worth of audio, video, and graphics. This includes ALL the dozens of Media Barrage and Bobsongs tapes, all the edited SubConvention tapes, a ton of video unavailable anywhere else, and thousands of scanned photos and out-of-print magazines, including most of the 7 giant Stark Fist printed issues and "Bob's" Favorite Comics.

Students don't have to download all this stuff; I expect that most people last year read the text and looked at all the scanned graphics like zines and letters, and then downloaded just the main bits of multimedia that interested them. Or they downloaded all of it and saved it for later. No one could possibly have time to absorb all the hours of media we offer while the course is going on.

As far as requirements go, I am a pretty Slack teacher. Energetic students can work to design their own cults -- there were both funny and serious ones last year -- and less workaholic students can just lurk. It's not like you are graded or anything, although last year I did provide a diploma at the end.

The most fun part of the course for many is probably the interactive aspect. The course has its own online forum, like a newsgroup, where people can leave comments or questions any time. I answered a lot of questions there in great detail, covering stuff I hadn't in the main text. We also had chat room "live" sessions every few nights, at various times of day so that folks in distant time zones could tune in conveniently. (There were students from all over the world.)

Because I got all that scanning done last year, and a detailed history of the Church written, I'll have a lot more time this time to expound, tell embarrassing stories and do online chats with the students. Last year it was extremely hectic for me, but this year I'm looking forward to having time to flesh out the material with more and funnier detail.

I will also try to drag in more Guest Instuctators like Dr. Philo Drummond, Onan Canobite, G. Gordon Gordon, Dr. Hal, LIES, maybe even Nenslo!

So if you're really curious about the real-life side of SubGenius -- "What are these people REALLY like?" -- or if you simply like bargains, for that $135 you get media that would cost about a thousand bucks . . . if you bought the items one at a time, and if the items were available in our catalog. Most aren't. (Although just about all the media in our catalog is also included, in downloadable form!)

Here are the other instructors of various classes so you can see how highly faluted it is:
http://www.maybelogic.org/instructors.htm

As you can see, MaybeLogic Academy is a class act, with some of the most visionary artists and writers of our time involved. (They snuck us in the back door when no one was looking.)

But most important of all, here is the shopping cart:

https://www.deepleafproductions.com/deepleafcart/home.php?cat=2

See you in the virtual classroom! (You don't need to shave or dress up.)

Seattle, Hamburg, X-Day; SubGenius Online Course; SubCondoms; videos; MORE

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

GETTING RID OF THE ADS AND ASSES OF ALT.SLACK

Praise Rev. ChuckKey for bringing this to our attention.

Many of us LOVE the main SubGenius forum, alt.slack. The fact that it is unmoderated and uncensored is one of the best things about it, but that has also lately allowed a drawback: floods of both unsightly ads, and nonsense floods (the bad kind) from disturbed SubGenius wanna-bes. These seriously cut down on the Slack in alt.slack.

If, like many, you are using Google Groups through web browsers like IE or Firefox to look at alt.slack (as opposed to a newsreader and Usenet service, which already come with these anti-spam features), the simple installation I'm about to describe will allow you to "killfile" unwanted ad spam and chronic assholes whose posts you do not want to see.

Imagine never again having to scroll/wade through floods of nonsense posted by Chinese spammers or drunk, mentally ill Pinks just to get to the JUICY STUFF!

This works on Mac OS, Windows, Linux, or any other platform using Firefox as a browser.

Go to this site:

http://www.penney.org/ggkiller.html

There are three links there -- one to download Firefox browser, one for GreaseMonkey (a Firefox extention), and one for the latest Google Groups Killfile Script.

#1. If you aren't already using Firefox, you might want to try it. It's more secure than Internet Explorer. On Macs, it's much more stable than Safari. There are ways to copy over your bookmarks.

#2. Now go to the GreaseMonkey site and click on DOWNLOAD GREASEMONKEY and then "ADD TO FIREFOX" on the resulting page. It will automatically download the extension and put it where it needs to go in Firefox. (Ignore the warnings re: malicious software! Show no fear!)

#3. Then you must RESTART FIREFOX. You will probably be prompted to do this, although in my case the prompt window was hidden at first.

#4. Now you reopen a Firefox window, return to http://www.penney.org/ggkiller.html and go to the next link, "Latest Google Groups Killfile Script:" http://www.penney.org/googleGroups.user.js

If you've done everything right so far, just clicking on that link (which ends in "user.js," telling Firefox it's a script) makes the newly installed GreaseMonkey present a dialog box with the option for installing that Google Groups Killfile Script. Ignore the warnings and let it install the script.

The next time you go to Google Groups, EVERY POST now has the option of "IGNORE USER" between the name of the poster, and the PROFILE link. (On Windows this may appear as an X in a box as well.) You can also IGNORE THREAD. This is good for killing crossposted flame wars from other newsgroups.

Once you have clicked the IGNORE USER link for a given asshole, the next time you return to alt.slack, all posts initiated by that asshole will have VANISHED, and you won't see any future posts by that asshole either.

If you have trouble, here are the instructions that helped me:

http://wiki.greasespot.net/Greasemonkey_Manual:Installing_Scripts

Under TOOLS menu (on Mac Firefox anyway) there's now a GreaseMonkey option where you can uninstall the script or reinstall it.

Finally, even Googleposting Jackadandies, to borrow a Nensletic term, can truly and effectively "plonk."