Friday, December 29, 2006

SubGenius sacred book REVELATION X reprinted!

The Book of the SubGenius and The SubGenius Psychlopaedia of Slack - The Bobliographon are once again joined on bookstore shelves by the second of the SubGenius trilogy of "Bobles," REVELATION X - THE BOBAPOCRYPHON!

ORDER IT NOW FROM AMAZON.COM FOR ONLY $12.86 (a $6.06 ("b0b") savings!

Of our three main holy books, this one is my favorite. Paul Mavrides and I strove against titanic forces and insane odds to make sure it did justice to the richness of “Bob’s” teachings and to the slavishness of his minions, the dozens of artists and writers who were sacrificed to it. Originally published by Simon & Schuster, an actual conspiracy (albeit a small one) kept it from being properly promoted, and it has been out of print since 1998... UNTIL NOW!!

The visionaries at Thunder’s Mouth Press (Avalon) have now brought out this new edition. Although it is nearly identical to the first edition, 20 pages have been updated, and the printing quality is actually improved. It’s the same physical size as The Book of the SubGenius – 8.5” x 11” – but is even more densely packed over more pages. Contributors include not only SubGenius luminaries such as Dr. Hal Robins, PissBaptist John Shirley, Dr. Philo Drummond, Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, St. Paul Mavrides, etc., but also such world-esteemed graphic artists as Gilbert Shelton, Robert Williams, Mark Bode, and many more.

The reason we are directing buyers to Amazon.com (or your local bookstore) instead of the SubGenius catalog is because we didn’t expect it to be out before Xmas… and we’re out of the office for the holidays. Just before we left the Cleveland Heights corporate headquarters (“The Slackermansion”), a box of the books unexpectedly arrived from the publishers! As soon as we are back in the factory facility and able to fill orders, it will be added to the Bulldada Time Control online catalog. We don’t particularly advertise this fact, but all SubGenius books sold through that catalog are autographed by at least one of the authors – usually me.

For the holidays, we are operating out of the Stang Family Historical Church Compound (a renovated old stone fortress) just outside Stangville in Stang County, Texas. The online SubGenius History course with Maybe Logic Academy – http://maybelogic.org -- is in a week-long holiday break, but will resume January 2, when we will post links to audio and video classis from the 1990-1994 period (already uploaded before we left our high tech Cleveland facility).

The 50 students who signed up for that course are getting way more than they bargained for. Along with thousands of scans of old Stark Fists, letters, photos, newsletters, art and other documents, they’ve also gotten ALL of the old Church music and media barrage albums, plus a number of extremely rare videos and recordings that have never been released anywhere else. And, they’re getting it all EXPLAINED to them by yours truly. Meanwhile, they are also being very slightly guided through the creation of their own custom-made mind control cults. In fact, I’m starting to have misgivings about having helped sponsor so much of our own FUTURE COMPETITION!

Best of all, once this first 8 week course has been finished, we will be able to offer it again every year, and each time I’ll be able to layer in a little more detail. For that matter, since all the course material will stay in place throughout the whole 8 weeks, a person could join at any time between now and January 20, and still be able to read and download all of the course materials – although it might take you a week just for the downloading, since it already fills almost 3 DVDs. (All for only $95!)

Many have asked what became of the SubGenius child custody case involving the Bevilacquas. THE NEW JUDGE STILL HASN’T MADE A DECISION. If what was intended was mental torture of the parents and child, that has been accomplished. The decision was supposed to happen in September, but lawyerly evil has been evoked to keep prolonging the agony.

We hope the new year will bring good news for Magdalen and Jesus. Princess Wei and myself are going for double the Slack in the meantime, hopefully storing some extra up for the Bevilacquas for when they are finally able to access any Slack at all.

My daughter Sivet is engaged to be married in June; her fiancé passed The Baseball Bat Test when I met him for the first time this week. He hardly even felt the blow! Also in June, I will be performing the wedding ceremony of Foundation loyee, Rev. Nickie Deathchick and her fiancé Bob Wild. And Dr. Philo Drummond and his new child bride, Rev. Kaosmic Bobcat, are raising their own newborn Uberbaby. Just the SubGenius Foundation staff ALONE is making sure the SubGenius beautant population continues to grow.

And, now that we again have THREE of our SubGenius Sex Manuals in stores worldwide, we anticipate a “Mutant Baby Boom” that will help make the promise of X-Day come true, whether “Bob” and the Xists themselves ever get their act together or not.

WON’T YOU JOIN US?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Slackermansion Halloweie'en Photos

We had high Hallowed-Weenie traffic at The Slackermansion, and ran out of candy early, despite having bought twice as much as last year -- an excuse for us to go out trick-or-treating, ourselves. The Giant Head Dobbs doled out the goods, Princess Wei sweet-talked the kids into posing with "Bob" for photos, and iDRMRSR impressed the moms and dads by claiming to be a U.N. observer. Pics are up:

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics13/stang/Halloween06/index.html


This collection includes some new SubG Halloween art (by newcomers) that was emailed in over the weekend before Halloween, also pics from ACE party with Wei as the female Amina Acid, and Pater Nostril as Tor Johnson (original mask by St. Joe Riley).

Plus, a rare shot of a Cyclops Skull Root found growing at the local graveyard.

The photos (and many more) are all posted to alt.binaries.slack as well.

Alt.binaries.MULTIMEDIA.slack has yet another dozen MP3s of whole hour-plus shows by Rev. Susie the Floozy. We are uploading "Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse Shows at the rate of 11 or 12 per day. Also uploading over a 3-day period is Rev. Circlemaker's bizarre EuroX-Day 2002 documentary (in high quality mpeg-2).

Now that the weddings and Holy Days are over for a little while, this Scribe will be tearing into the Maybe Logic Academy Online Course in the Secret History of the SubGenius Church and How to Run Your Own Mind Control Cult (Nov. 20 -- Jan. something) -- see http://www.maybelogic.org/stangcrs.htm
for the complete curriculum.

This course will essentially be a whole new illustrated SubGenius book in PDF plus a lot of personal forum and chat activity, and umpteen hours of downloadables -- MP3s and videos of primal moments in real-life Church history (ADULTS ONLY!).

So I must get cracking! Cracking, scanning, sorting and, hopefully, remembering.

Friday, October 20, 2006

New SubGenius Book is Available; Multimedia Online Course in SubGenius runs November - January

Two big hearty chunks of news: the new SubGenius book is in stores and our catalog, and Maybe Logic University is offering a media-soaked online course in SubGenius History and How to Run Your Own Cult. Also, our book Revelation X is being reprinted, and yours truly has a MySpace page now.

ONLINE LESSONS IN SUBGENIUSDOM via Maybe Logic Academy

In some ways this course is yet another book, but not with just new text and photos. It also features hours of downloadable audio and video, exclusive to this course. And it has YOUR PARTICIPATION -- if you so choose -- since it also involves chat-room sessions, online forums, etc. By the end of the course, not only will you possess an exclusive stash of inside-SubGenius goodies, but you'll have developed YOUR OWN ORIGINAL CULT RELIGION.

We had already been planning a big "History of the SubGenius" book/DVD project, when Maybe Logic University approached us about doing this class online. This is the same group behind the excellent RAW film, Maybe Logic. They have already run successful courses under instructors like Robert Anton Wilson, Douglas Rushkoff, Antero Alli, R.U. Sirius, Erik Davis, David Jay Brown, Luke Rhinehart, Starhawk and others.

The inexpensive course will run 8 weeks, from November 20 to January 21 (with a holiday break). There is a good chance that this is a one-time opportunity that won't be repeated. There will be massive amounts of rare SubGenius text, comics, devival audio, radio clips, backstage historical material, photos and graphics that WON'T be on SubSITE or our binaries newsgroups.

This is a one-of-a-kind, hands-on, participatory MUST for the hard-core SubGenius, or the investigator who has always wondered just what's REALLY been going on in this Church.

The detailed course overview can be seen here:
http://www.maybelogic.org/stangcrs.htm

To enroll (or buy the Maybe Logic DVD): http://www.maybelogic.org/enroll.htm



THE SUBGENIUS PSYCHLOPAEDIA OF SLACK -- THE BOBLIOGRAPHON


NYES! It's now available! A THIRD SUBGENIUS TESTAMENT! The NEW encyclopedia of abnormality -- 240 pages of cornea-melting illustrations and newly-released SubGenius writings that will SHOCK those who thought that surely all of everything must be contained within the previous books. This book goes where THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and REVELATION X could not. Contains all-new revelations re: the Mystery of X-Day; Secrets of Connie Dobbs; Avoiding Subicide; Slack Magic; SubGenius Kooks; "Bob's" Dark Secrets; a Tour of Dobbstown; The Yacatizma vs. Yacatisma; The Earth-Mars Switch and infinitely more!

THE BOBLIOGRAPHON has a much different look from the first two holy Bobles, and an even broader range of contributors, because it's our first book since "Bob" took over the Internet in 1995. Hence the illustrations tend to be richly detailed 3D computer graphics by the likes of LeMur, IMBJR and Heart Ignition. Writers include Rev. Ivan Stang, Dr. Philo Drummond, Nenslo, Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite, Dr. G.G. Gordon, Dr. Hal, Rev. Susie the Floozy, and 45 other Doktors and NunSnakes. From mighty Thunder’s Mouth Press/Avalon. Size: 7" x 9" Weight: 13 oz.

You can buy it in most bookstores, online via Amazon.com, Powells (http://www.powells.com/biblio/62-1560259396-0) and others, or you can buy it AUTOGRAPHED directly from Bulldada Time Control Labs and yours truly:
http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/books.htm



REVELATION X reprint out in January

Thunder's Mouth Press has enjoyed such robust pre-sales for THE BOBLIOGRAPHON that they are reprinting our Second Testament, REVELATION X, and are rushing to have it out before the end of this year. (I have already finished revising the address and catalog info, which was a HEROIC CHORE, let me tell you!) Many SubGenii, myself included, consider this the best of our first four books, and that may explain why it was taken out of print after truncated Conspiracy distribution in 1994. The book was 2 years in the making, and it shows. Interestingly, the revised new edition is ALREADY for sale, from that unique avant-garde vendor of only the most bizarre and rare items -- Wal-Mart!
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5167991



WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

Because it was the only way to communicate with my nieces and nephews, I took the MySpace plunge. YIKES! It's insidious! I had to rant about it -- but on alt.slack, not on MySpace: http://tinyurl.com/y53aev

I have to admit I have enjoyed the Helle out of many of my fellow SubGeniuses' pimp-jobs on their own MySpace pages, which you can access via mine. Other strange bands of weirdoes such as Negativland, The Amino Acids, Little Fyodor, DEVO etc. also bleed over into it.
Rev. Ivan Stang MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/ivanstang

Note: there is also a non-official "Church of the SubGenius" MySpace site, evidently set up by someone who doesn't know how to spell "SubGenius"… or even "Bob"!



HALLOWEEN
… the one holiday during which the SubGeniuses DON'T wear their disguises! We have some pages of graphics and photos showing the alt.binaries.slack and SubGenius Foundation HQ Halloweens of the past. Make sure you check out ALL the links. SubG MaskMaster St. Joe Riley's costume shop is one of them.

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics11/HALLOWEEN/index.html



NEWS OF REV. MAGDALEN AND HER CHILD

We don't have any good news yet. The new judge is supposed to hand down a decision any week now. Meanwhile the child is still kept from his mom.

NEWS OF POPE ROBERT ANTON WILSON

He got lots of donations, and the financial crisis is postponed for a couple of months. His health unfortunately is not especially improved.

REMEMBER - NO "BOB," NO SLACK. KNOW "BOB," KNOW SLACK.
Let There Then Be Slack

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Time to Repay RAWilson for All the Slack

Pope Bob (Robert Anton Wilson) loaned us SubGeniuses a LOT!

Most of what he loaned us were ideas. We took those ideas and ran with them. We did all KINDS of things using his ideas. We started every manner of experiment, inspired by his experiments. Many of those experiments PAID OFF.

I have said many times to interviewers that were it not for Robert Anton Wilson (and the late great Robert Shea, who co-wrote Illuminatus), there would be no Church of the SubGenius.

Although Pope Bob was tough enough to beat childhood polio in his youth, now that he is old, it has returned to harass him. He busted his ass his whole life, writing, lecturing, and selling books -- and if you think those jobs are EASY, try it yourself. He shared part of his mighty brain with the world, supported his family, and even survived the loss of a child and his wife without GIVING UP. But nothing lasts forever, and now it's down to the wire.

Princess Wei, Pater Nostril and I got to hang out with Pope Bob a couple of times in recent years, at Winterstar. The polio had already put him in a wheelchair, and it must have been hurting all the time, but Bob was as cheerful and snappy as I'd seen him in the '80s and the '90s, and he delivered one of the most brilliant talks I've ever seen at an A.C.E. event. He was still writing books (and plugging SubGenius!) and doing everything he could physically and financially to pull his own weight.

I "saw" him more recently in the excellent film, Maybe Logic. It was agonizing to watch Pope Bob demonstrating that he can still walk, with effort, because the polio had obviously gotten much worse. But he was STILL TRYING TO WALK and STILL WORKING!

Do you imagine that writers like Wilson make a lot of money? Well, if he was the kind of writer whose books are in airports with embossed covers showing blurbs like "ANOTHER BEST SELLING CORPORATE THRILLER," then you might be right.

However, Robert Anton Wilson didn't write the kind of books that Hollywood likes to make movies of. He wrote the kinds of books that weird individuals make their very LIVES from.

Earlier this year -- when finally he could no longer sit at a machine and type all day -- rather than asking for charity, he started SELLING OFF HIS OLD STUFF. Autographing and selling all the spares of his books. Now even those are gone, and there's not much he can do but hope that people remember what they owe him.

I REMEMBER!

Any donations can be made to Bob directly to the Paypal account olgaceline@gmail.com.
You can also send a check payable to Robert Anton Wilson to
Dennis Berry c/o Futique Trust
P.O. Box 3561
Santa Cruz, CA 95063.

I am emptying the SubGenius paypal account into his paypal account, and we are mailing monthly $50 checks as suggested.

Here is another testimonial and some more info, from Douglas Rushkoff:

http://tinyurl.com/lb3mm

Here's a good wiki team write-up on RAW:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Anton_Wilson

RAW's main website:
http://www.rawilson.com/main.shtml

Other top RAW info site: http://www.maybelogic.com/

SubGeniuses, you helped out Rev. Magdalen when the Conspiracy took her child away. (Incidentally, the child is still away (!) and she still has huge legal bills.) You helped her out even though many of you never met her or her child. You took our word for it that the situation was dire and that the call for help was justified. Well, you may not have ever met Robert Anton Wilson… you MIGHT not even have read any of his books… but if you're a SubGenius, he has sure as hell helped you out. He has given you Slack, BIG TIME.

Now, you can give him Slack at a time when he REALLY NEEDS IT. He will almost certainly never need your help this way again. The kind of Slack he most immediately needs is the peace of mind of knowing he can fucking DIE IN PEACE, at home, in bed, and not in the middle of a HOUSEHOLD MOVE watching the loss of his home and last possessions.

If you love "Bob," then you will send money to Bob. For without Bob, we would never even have heard of "Bob."

PRAISE BOB!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Report on DEVOtional 2006 on SubSITE

Princess Wei and I barely survived the DEVOtional of 2006. But we are stronger for it, and our bedroom is much cleaner.

PICTORIAL REPORT

Other news:

I'm teaching an online course in The History of The Church of the SubGenius in November and December. Yes, I'm PERFESSOR Stang now.
SUBGENIUS COURSE AT MAYBE LOGIC ACADEMY

Thursday, August 03, 2006

MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!...

… because their child needs THEM!

You may have read about the child custody case of Rachel Bevilacqua, aka Rev. Magdalen. Her 10-year-old son was taken away from her last February because a New York family court judge thought that her involvement with The Church of the SubGenius disqualified her for motherhood. The horrible news is, even though the original judge is off the case, THE CASE IS DRAGGING ON and she has been allowed very little contact with her son. The state is paying for the father's lawyers, because the father is a welfare case who never has a job, and that side is deliberately prolonging the court sessions BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THE BEVILACQUAS, WHO BETWEEN THEM ARE WORKING FOUR JOBS, DO HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR LAWYERS.

Rachel has very good lawyers now, but they're very expensive, and they want another $10,000 from her by LAST WEEK. Meanwhile, her husband Steve, aka Rev. Jesus, has been tranfered by His employers to ENGLAND -- which would be lots of fun IF HE COULD HAVE HIS FAMILY WITH HIM. But Rachel cannot leave New York until she regains at least partial custody of her child.

Friends, normally when I send out these letters it's because I'm selling something -- some new holy SubGenius product. Well, our new book will be out in October, and I will surely sell the Hell out of that when the time comes. But right now I'm not selling anything. I'm BEGGING for your money, for SOMEBODY ELSE -- for Rachel's legal fees, so she can hurry up and get young "ConBo" back before he has to spend YET ANOTHER 6 MONTHS IN THAT WRETCHED TRAILER COURT.

If you read any of the stories that have now been written about this case -- and especially if you read the publicly available transcript of the original abusive judge's outbursts -- you'll see that this is not just another cute SubGenius money-making gimmick, but a serious fight against a REAL THREAT. Magdalen is a degreed college graduate with a long and responsible job history, a good income, no jail record, etc. If her child can be taken away by a small local court just because she's a SubGenius, THINK WHAT ELSE THEY COULD DO… MAYBE TO YOU.

Modemac's wikipedia page has the most concise history of the case and the most complete collection of links:
http://www.modemac.com/wiki/Reverend_Magdalen

This feisty weekly newspaper from the Rochester area has the most scathing of many good articles about the case:

The Beast:
http://www.buffalobeast.com/96/subgenius.custody.htm

Another excellent, more recent article is in the Cleveland Free Times:
http://www.freetimes.com/story/262

Paypal donations can still be sent to magdalen@subgenius.com.

http://tinyurl.com/jbpe8

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857


THE WHY A GOAT? SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeated by the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser is:
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=32908

Needless to say, this has been unspeakably hard on Magdalen and Jesus. The SubGeniuses at large, however, sure had a lot of fun at Judge Punch's expense at our last X-Day drill. There are 4 Hours of Slack online now that feature recordings from 9X-Day, but this week's show, #1058, a Magdalen Case Fund-Raising, Punch-Bashing special with Dr. Hal and other great ranters (also featuring Mag's shordurpersav band, The Billy Nayer Show).
Hour of Slack 1058:
http://subgenius.sensoryresearch.net/hos/Hour_of_Slack_1058.mp3

While we're at it, this is a good place to mention THE HOUR OF SLACK HOME SERVICE -- a 6-month subscription to weekly Hour of Slack CDs delivered to your home! Only FIVE BUCKS PER SHOW. Sure you can download it, or you can record it off the air if you're in one of the 17 cities where it's carried (see website) -- but these are audio CDs made direct from the masters, with 25 to 60 separate tracks so you can easily isolate your favorite parts. You can specify X-Rated or Air-Safe copies. I know, I said I wasn't selling anything. But, hey -- What Would "Bob" Do?

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/audio-hos.htm

*******

Friday, July 28, 2006

9X-Day 'Comic' - a SubGenius Photonovella

I just finished my first SubGenius 'found' photonovella, utilizing the photos from 9X-Day Drill shot by several SubGenii, arranged in panels like a comic book. It's 23 pages long, has captions, 'sound effects' and word balloons like a comic, and can be viewed on SubSITE at the following links (and is also downloaded there as a small PDF file). A very large, high-res, printable PDF version is on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack, and the 23 separate numbered JPEGs are on alt.binaries.slack.

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-Day_Comic-sm/image-html/9X-Day_Comic_01.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/jsqt7
for the 9X-Day Photo Comic

The photonovella replaces our traditional annual X-Day Drill photo gallery. You'll see why. It's so much more DRAMATIC this way! It's part of the new

9X-DAY REPORTS on SubSITE at:
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-DayText/9X-DayReports.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/l6j6p

Includes the 2006 Bobbie Awards
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-DayText/X0007_2006_BOBBIE_AWARDS.t.html
aka
http://tinyurl.com/etuu6

BIG THANKSLACK to the photographers and stars of the 9X-Day photonovella! Photo credits are on the last page.

Hours of Slack #s 1055 through 1059 will be edited 9X-Day audio entirely: live radio, preaching, bands, Wotaning, and related Puzzling Evidence. The first two are available in various formats from multiple sources via http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

The sub-web-bots also assembled some SubSITE pages about the large neopagan festival, Starwood 26, using Rev. Alex Thompson's text report and Princess Wei's photos:
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/STARWOOD26/Starwood_26_Alex_Report.html
aka
http://tinyurl.com/hc9of

Ironically, there is much nudity in the 9X-Day pictorials, but none in the Starwood ones.

Announcement: Birth of the OverBaby!

BORN to Dr. Philo U. Drummond, Primary Subgenius Overman
Second Authorized MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Church of the SubGenius /Drummondian, and the beautiful Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty:

THE OVERBABY
Lily KatBuck Drummond

ACTUAL BIRTHDATE:
7-22-06
TIME: 6:06 A.M.

REPEAT: 6:06 A/M.

Two strange events (besides "Bob's" signature on the time of her birth) mark this far-from-emaculate birth.

Prior to the birth, Dr. Drummond and the extremely pregnant Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty attended Annie Sprinkle's birthday party. Kaosmic-Kitty was scheduled to sing a song on the stage and so she did -- but in the middle of the cute little song, HER WATER BROKE! Yes, Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty stood there on the stage at Annie Sprinkle's bithday party, with water streaming down her legs, calling for a doctor. Instead she got a DOKTOR, her husband Dr. Philo Drummond -- in full-on OVERMAN TRANSFIGURATION MODE! The OverMan rushed to her side, REACHED UP HER DRESS, and extracted… A LITTLE STUFFED KITTY-CAT PLUSH-TOY! To the amazement of the crowd. SEE THE PHOTO HERE.

AFTER the birth, yesterday in fact, Dr. Drummond was taking his new child and fairly new wife to the pediatrician and was engaged in putting coins into a parking meter on the street outside the doctor's office when he was suddenly and completely randomly ATTACKED by a CRAZY DRUNK. One minute this lurching drunk is acting like he's about to ask for money and the next second the drunk SUDDENLY HITS PHILO IN THE JAW!

All the fight-or-fight reflex that one might expect from a new-father OverMan whose little family is being threatened ROARED INTO ACTION. "WHAT THE FUCK?" asks Philo, recovering, and as the drunk sees the bright firey red light emiting from Philo's eyes, he mutters something about being sorry and starts to flee. PHILO PURSUES THE INSANE DRUNK… in fact Philo catches up with him and starts thrashing the bastard. (Philo Drummond is in very good physical condition from incessant bike-riding in hilly countryside.) Philo, indeed, sees a tree that has various support-boards nailed to it, WRENCHES LOOSE ONE OF THESE BOARDS, and now threatens the insane, formerly-aggressive drunk with a NAIL-STUDDED BOARD, like a troll wielding a club. Philo then makes a snap decision to ROB the drunk and demands he empty his pockets. The drunk displays a dollar or so -- Philo SLAPS the money onto the ground and says "I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING MONEY!" and about then, the cops pull up.

Luckily the cops instantly detect the drunken condition of the fucked-up guy and beg Philo to press charges. The drunk is begging him not to so Philo DOES PRESS CHARGES.

The cops are happy, Philo goes to his pediatrician meeting with his wife and baby and the drunk is hauled off to jail.

Moral: DON''T FUCK WITH THE PHILO.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

9X-Day special Hours of Slack now online

We have started culling down the best of the 9X-Day recordings. You can go straight to the 1-hour shows here:

Hour of Slack 1055

Hour of Slack 1056

Friday, July 14, 2006

8X-Day video, 9X-Day audio posted for download

Famed Usenet newsgroup alt.binaries.multimedia.slack now sports many many hours of raw, uncut audio (in MP3) from 9X-Day -- all the preaching and ranting, most of the music, all the "live Hour of Slack" and Ask Dr. Hal. Also there for the download is the 1 hour 23 minute 8X-Day edited video. It's not SUPER-edited -- I cut it two days before 9X-Day, SUPER-fast.

I will be further editing the 9X-Day audio into smaller chunks and weaving it
through the next 5 or 6 Hours of Slack, also probably will post the ensmallenized MP3 chunks
to a.b.s.

There are zillions of photos on a.b.s., and also:

PHOTOS:
RAVNA:
http://www.echt-wichtig.de/xday9/
Assco:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?
fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=141749788&indicate=1

and
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?
fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=142431683&indicate=1

ANKARA:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ankaraenator/Xday9

FoxyG
http://www.flickr.com/photos/43658528@N00/

I didn't do this 10 minute film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DQXPz4fhoM

It's by Rev. Mykeru
http://www.mykeru.com

I am working on a PHOTONOVELLA of 9X-Day photos for SubSITE

Gotta do Starwood first though! BACK TO BRUSHWOOD!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

9X-Day - So Mote Enslackenment Be!

9X-DAY DRILL was one of the best yet, as Drills go, from my point of view. As actual Ruptures go, of course, it was another fizzle, but in terms of PRACTICE for ENJOYING the end of the world, everybody seems to agree that it offered plenty.

THERE WERE MIRACLES

One miracle was that Brushwood was BEDOTTED with ANGEL TURDS throughout the week. AssCo even shot a blurry night-vision videotape of what appears to be a naked, giant-breasted beautiful female angel shitting one of these miracle turds along a camp road. No one else saw the actual angel or angels, but almost everyone stumbled upon at least one or two of these Miracle Turds either in their camp or in odd spots around Brushwood, like under rocks or in the clefts of tree branches.

The Miracle Angel Turds look like smooth gray rocks WITH PICTURES ON THEM! -- yes, miniature PAINTINGS looking much like they had perhaps been done in enamel color paints. Yet no mortal human or SubGenius would be capable of such incredible miniature paintings -- not even Dr. Hal! FOR HOW WOULD HE BE ABLE TO PAINT A STONE WHILE IT WAS STILL INSIDE AN ANGEL'S RECTUM?? Only Rev. Susie the Floozy would be able to do something that that, and even then it would be difficult. Many HAVE pointed out that the writing on some of the stone-turds resembles the calligraphy-like writing of Susie the Floozy. And Suzie seemed at times to have preternatural knowledge of some of the stones before she had even seen them. But she has always been weird that way.

The pictures on the turdstones were gorgeously detailed, and often personalized. For instance, Princess Wei's had saucers and fropsticks on them. Dr. Hal got one with a fez (he often wears a special fez with a huge eyeball on it). G. Gordon Gordon's was either a suppository or The Magic Bullet from the JFK assassination. We have documentation of many of the stones and no doubt you will be seeing photos of them as we process the evidence.

THE XXXXX-WRISTBANDS WERE USED UP!

Every X-Day we tag paying Members with a special ElectroStimulo Negative Reinforcement Wristband. I had purchased some extras in case of this eventuality, but I didn't really expect to use them because we seemed to have PLENTY of the original wristbands left -- the ones with the XXX-design on them.

WE RAN OUT OF THOSE THIS X-DAY!

That seemed a sign that this would be THE X-Day, and got our hopes and fears up as much as the Angel Turds did.

Since I was in charge of registration this year, we have NO IDEA how many attendees there were at the festival. But there were enough that we ran out of those wristbands and had to shift to dayglo orange ones.

I counted attendance at the Saturday night music show... there were 57 people there that I could see, but I know many of the Frop/NYC cabal were not there that night when I was counting. And there are always the many mystery Yetinsyn who sign in and then disappear into alt.slack Woods, never to be seen again anywhere near the stages.

MIRACLE: THE FOG DURING "THE DIVINE CONJUNCTION"

On July 4, a mini-observatory with a huge telescope had been set up near Dr. Dark's drive-in so that we might follow the events on Jupiter during the collision of the Great Red Spot with the smaller storm known as Red Jr. We knew the Conspiracy wouldn't report anything of Dobbsful portent. BUT... of all nights... that is when a thick, werewolf-of-london FOG rolled over Brushwood, obscuring the view from the observatory at the crucial moment!

Just before the fog closed in, I myself witnessed a great multicolored VORTEX form at the border of the two massive storms (each large enough to swallow our planet), and from this Vortex I saw emerge what must have been at least a million of the 2001-style MONOLITHS, rising in pairs into space, criss-crossed to form Xes when seen from the front as they advanced towards my telescope... and it was just then, as the Million Monolith March began, that the fog thickened and my view was occluded!

MIRACLE:

NO ONE DIED OR WAS HURT!

What I mean by that is that no one died or was hurt MUCH.

MIRACLE OF LITTLE GIRLS!

The Volkerdings not only survived and came, but brought a THIRD VOLKERDING -- the laughingest baby since the Gerber's model! Agent Lloyd brought Gwendolyn, to her second X-Day; and the superstar of the Ikon and Book Burning was "Halie," who is a precocious 5 year old belonging to the Master Jason of the Woodbusters, builder of the Great Fire (and retriever of the Sacrificial Victim, which believe me is a GROSS job). Whereas the SubGeniuses were timid about attacking the Judge Punch Punching Bag, little Halie was absolutely vicious and relentless. No matter how many times Judge Punch came to his feet, she was there to lay him low again with the most powerful roudhouses ever seen in the RoundHouse (where the burnings and drummings take place).

Halie also proved herself BY FAR the most receptive and appreciative audience for my latest Dobbshead-centered animated music videos. Some of the time she was the ONLY audience. She truly appreciates morphing, drooping, vortexing Dobbsheads with tekno music in ways that escapes anyone over 6.

MIRACLES: THE BOBTISM and CHILI COOK-OFF

We made sure that it was WELL UNDERSTOOD that there would be NO cameras at the new, Stangian Bobtism. There would be no Legume and no Jesus. Dr. Hal and myself were the only Bobtizers and we kept our sacred robes on. The result was, for the first time in several years, a pool HEALTHILY FULL OF CONNIEITES. Almost as many female as male SubGenii entered the Pool of Nakedity, and there were NO FROGWATCHERS (except, ironically, Dr. Legume himself!). Every Bobtism was personalized and I was able to remember the names of every single SubGenius that I Bobtized with the odd exception of Rev. Venus Envy.

This year, because of the newly-enforced orders, EVEN PRINCESS WEI and Rev. BARBRA ALIEN were Bobtized in full nakedity.

The SubGenius 1st Annual International Chili Cook-Off featured only 5 brands of chili (including Mammy Stang's Secret Recipe), but the important thing about the chili cook-off was the SHOT I got on my DV cam panning across the cafe.

ALL OTHER GEEKY WEIRD CULTS, EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT!

At times X-Day has been called by its jealous detractors a "sausage fest," implying that, like a GWAR concert or a Star Trek convention, it's all fat 15 year old boys and almost no girls.

HOO-HAH! We built it, and THEY CAME. As I panned across that crowd of SubG pigs stuffing their faces, what my camera caught was A GAL FOR EVERY GUY. Numerically, that is. Many of the gals and guys were independent, not attached to each other. But, by Gobbs, every other person at X-Day (or at least the cook-off) was a GORGEOUS FEMALE BABE, with an excellent range of age and shape, and I inwardly laughed my ass off at the TRUE LOSERS who slander our gatherings as somehow being all-male.

The pictures that are already going around prove what I am saying. I wouldn't feel the need to brag about this, but criticisms of over-maleness have been unfairly aimed at us for some time.

Also you can't say we're all white people anymore, because there were Negroes, Puerto Ricans, and Italians galore! I think one or two people might even have been Jewish persons!

MIRACLE:

Dr. Hal aka Dr. Howll!

This man is so infuckingcredibly talented that only his devotion to "Bob" keeps him from being disqualified as a SUB-genius. Were it not for his love of "Bob" we would have to declare him a genius or even a deadly super-genius.

MIRACLE:

THE SUNDAY NIGHT RANT-MUSIC JAM.

First miracle is how GOOD it was. The main mike-bearers were Princess Pisces and Rev. Carter LeBlanc, although others such as Alex, Scalpod and DJ Shaver (possibly many more) leapt onstage to rant or sing behind or over music provided mostly by Rev. Angry Larry on guitar, Carter on bass, Rev. Phil on drums, and Rev. Two Beans on synthesizer. Pisces was SPOUTING LIKE A HOUSEAFIRE! I haven't seen anything like it in some time. She composed something like 8 different songs right off the top of her head. Fucking amazing. I kept thinking, "This CAN'T sound later, on the tape, as good as it's sounding on headphones" -- but, BY GUM, it DID!

Yes, the audio on the Volkerding-donated 4-track cassette deck SOUNDED REAL GOOD!

I have also been checking through the videotapes, going backwards from the final sixteenth one on July 5, and when that's done I'll be have a skeletal list of events which can be filled in by others. There's a lot I missed! I would have missed a lot more had not Governor Rocknar been able to hand me 5 more mini-DV tapes after I ran out (we never used more than 10 1-hour tapes before this!).

I only heard about (and saw from a distance) the naked Slip-n-Slide that was set up by (I think) Rev. Andy Christ. Luckily, Mom Exmortis was able to inform the teens sliding on it that it would work MUCH better if they TOOK OFF THEIR CLOTHES. Thus many people COULD have witnessed the sight of many skinny nekkid young folks sliding back and forth, and of the occasional middle-aged person injuring their hips on it.

I also missed an actual fake giant UFO constructed by Rev. Sloth, Gonzo, Samhain and ExMortis after the 7 AM time. (I was sleeping, finally.) Thankfully, Sis Dec was there was a camera to catch some really WEIRD images that will be excellent for future controversies over whether the Xists or SOMEBODY really DID land at Brushwood in 2006.

The sight of classic Romero LIVING DEAD shambling out of the woods and into Two Beans' rave, then the drive-in, was wonderful enough, but even better was seeing the people they had BITTEN, COME BACK A LITTLE WHILE LATER AS ZOMBIES THEMSELVES! In other words, after the first wave of zombie attacks, there was another wave, with TWICE AS MANY ZOMBIES!

There are many many more people to thank (especially Modemac) and events to marvel about, and photos to jack over, but I have just barely gotten back onto "the stick." Among the 1200 emails I had upon our return were several DOZEN orders, mostly for new Memberships and ARISE! DVDs, and I have to get on those. Also, one of my 250-gb hard drives DIED COMPLETELY yesterday. Luckily I had suspicions that Dumbkoff was dying so I had backed up pretty much everything on him except maybe some MP3s that I had collected but haven't yet put on Hour of Slack. We'll see... there may be some hope for the drive yet but only one of my 4 repair progs can even detect the drive and it soon crashes after trying to sort out its scrambled nodes, keys and B-trees, due to hardware failure... oh well... good thing I was paranoid about back-up.

The SubGenii are apparently immune to the Shulginesque poisons that were promised.

As always, no matter what they may have promised and claimed after the fact, the chickenshit kooks of alt.slack (you know who they are) once again stayed in their hovels and guessed at what they were missing.

I'm sure more spectacular remembrances will come back to me as I slog through the tapes and videos, first for Hour of Slack and then for eventual DVD etc. The Amino Acids put in an unusually long (for them) performance of WELL over their normal 20 minutes. The Billy Nayer Show certainly picked up a hundred new die-hard fans besides myself and Wei, Nickie and The Artist Formerly Known as Magdalen.

Which reminds me, the Bulldada Auction raised some good money to help with her legal bills, and I suspect that personal contacts with the right persons may have helped raise REAL REAL good money to help with those bills.

I have only half-scanned alt.slack for other 9X-Day reports and I haven't even looked into the IRC.

If anyone has IRC logs which include active X-Day participants reminiscing or fighting, if you emailed me the text log I wouldn't mind. I had house guests up until yesterday so I was not geeking in computerland.

I will say that I have seen some speculation by our critics about what sort of "vacations in England" and "fleets of Jaguars" that Magdalen has also to pay for, besides her legal bills, and I have gotten some real belly-laffs out of those. To those who will believe anything, I must stress that YOU AIN'T HEARD NOTHIN' YET! Wait'll you gimps finally figure out who we REALLY are! The Masons, Satanists and International Jewish Bankers, hell, even the U.S. Government, will all seem like PIKERS and SMALL FRY by comparison.



THANKS, EVERYONE, FOR EVERYTHING!

Monday, June 26, 2006

9X-Day Report ALREADY online via Time Control - also, 6XDay video

Hour of Slack 1054 - 9X-Day Report Via Time Control

MP3 download, podcast: http://www.radio4all.net/proginfo.php?id=18711

OGG VORBIS and alternate MP3: http://subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

And on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack: http://www.usenet-replayer.com/cgi/content/archive?scan=alt.binaries.multimedia.slack


See the Hour of Slack page on SubSITE for list of 20 broadcast stations in the U.S. and Canada: http://subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

There is ALREADY A REPORT ON 9X-Day -- the whole thing, in this live show from WCSB's studio. Rev. Stang and Lonesome Cowboy Dave, exhausted after having just gotten back into town after 9X-Day, report on the bizarre events that took place at Brushwood, including the Time Control classes which make this pre-debriefing possible.

The show also includes the following pre-recorded collages and X-Day songs:

LeMur: PR_Gnus1301 00:23
LeMur: HOS_Intro643 00:26
LeMur: PopBob_ Song #1006 00:09
El Queso All-Stars: This is the Hour of Slack 02:41
The Billy Nayer Show: Montage Instrumental (background) 02:11

Lonesome Cowboy Dave live: SubGenius Anthem 01:10
Billy Nayer Show: Hopping On Ceres Theme (background) 02:06

KirkendahlVoid: "Plan 69 from Outer Space" 03:50

St. N and Hellena Handbasket: "It's the End of the World" 03:59
Nanslo: Take Me Off to Space 02:12

Ouroborus ReX: "X-Day" 04:53
Bill T. Miller: "X-Day's-a-comin'" 04:07

Sivet Stang: "I'm "Bob's" Own" PG 02:46

Billy Nayer Show: http://billynayer.com
Background music: Hippsaqidix, Edfred, Lonesome Cowboy Dave
*********

6X-DAY 23 minute video (very high quality) is currently downlaodable from alt.binaries.multimedia.slack: http://www.usenet-replayer.com/cgi/content/archive?scan=alt.binaries.multimedia.slack

This is a very good mpeg2 (DVD quality) copy of the barrage-edited 6X-Day documentary. The one that was on Google Video until it was banned for nakedity was much shorter (and, of course, low-res like any streaming video). This will play on most DVD players when burned to CD-R. It's about 450 mb, posted in a couple of dozen RAR sections that can be reassembled using the PAR file to make the complete file.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

X-DAY IS NIGH!

The SCHEDULE for the End of the World is now online:
9X-DAY SCHEDULE

If you missed the MAIN information about 9X-Day, such as the horrifying events on the planet Jupiter which are due to climax on July 4, see
9 X-DAY MAIN PAGE

Pre-registrations are higher than last year, and we're expecting a good turnout (considering gas prices). It's looking to be fewer old timers -- they must be dying off, or having kids -- and a lot more newcomers. For all we know, these newcomers may all be 80-year-olds. But we suspect they are mostly younger. SubGenii are coming to Brushwood from such remote locales as Germany and Florida.

The bands and guest preachers are all still as advertised -- The Billy Nayer Show, The Amino Acids, Dr. Howll, etc.

I am hoping to have some new video to show, newer than "PRESCRIPTURES 35:9" or whatever I called it and "SubGenius Numa Numa Song"... but we'll for sure have sneak previews of the new SubGenius book floating around, taped to the bathroom stalls, floating in the pond, etc.

The new book, SubGenius Psychlopaedia of Slack Vol. 1 - THE BOBLIOGRAPHON, is due out in October/November. We just finished final revisions and are hoping to see galley copies soon. Meanwhile, I have my own home print-out and a marvelous PDF of it. I am very happy with it and so are the publishers, Thunder's Mouth Press/Avalon. We have not gotten a response back about the book from J.R. "Bob" Dobbs himself yet, however.

IF for some reason the Earth planet (so-called) is still here and functioning after July 5, and if we're still on it, we get to CONTINUE the insane celebrations at Brushwood two weeks after X-Day, for ANOTHER week, at STARWOOD... only, Starwood isn't SubGeniuses-only. Instead, it is a place to meet and trade with unsaved believers of other cults. Many SubGeniuses go so far as to MATE with them. This is a good way to convert people! Princess Wei is heavily involved in organizing Starwood, and I am hosting a devival there on the main Saturday afternoon. Between getting ready for the world to end, and also for it NOT to end just in CASE, We/I are plenty busy.

Rev, Magdalen's important new custody hearing with a new judge happens June 23, and we're all eagerly waiting to hear the results. However it turns out, she AND Jesus will be at 9X-Day... as will THE FAMOUS DEADLY GOAT MASK ITSELF!

I'm sure there's some other important news, but you are actually more likely to find BREAKING SUBGENIUS NEWS at ALT.SLACK. Good luck distinguishing between the SubGenii and the insane trolls! -- when there IS a distinction.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

New SubGenius Book 'THE BOBLIOGRAPHON' Finished

I finished the final layout tweakings, art credits, etc., and got the master to the publishers only 6 hours after the May 31 deadline!

And you can already buy copies! It's just that your copy won't EXIST until October or so. Check out The SubGenius Psychlopaedia of Slack - THE BOBLIOGRAPHON on Amazon.com.
This was one of the most PLEASURABLE jobs I have ever done, despite the grueling schedule and short deadline. Princess Wei and I are very happy with the final product. THANKS (and eventual royalty checks) to the dozens of artists and writers who contributed!

Who include, as follows: Dr. Philo U. Drummond • Uncle Dr. Onan Canobite • Nenslo • IMBJR • Dr. G. ­Gordon Gordon • Heart Ignition • Mr. ­Fernandinande LeMur • Princess Wei “R.” Doe • Rev. Espira • St. Paul Mavrides • Dr. Hal Robins • Satellite Weavers • Father Joe Mama • Rev. Christopher Lee • Rev. Nu-Monet • Jesus Devilacqua • Dr. K’taden ­Legume • Rev. ­Susie the Floozy • Rev. Carter ­LeBlanc • Artemia Salina • Rev. Mary Magdalen • Dave ­DeLuca • Rev. John ­Shirley • Modemac • Rev. Nanzi Regalia • Rev. Joe Cosby • St. Byron Werner • Puzzling Evidence • Popess Lilith von Fraumench • Ignatz Topolino • J. Vandewalker • Dok Frop • Lemuel Atom • Rev. Alliekatt • Polar Bear • Rev. Nickie Deathchick • St. Stymie DeBergerac • Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger • Sosodada/AssCo • Sternodox • Rev. Mark ­Mothersbaugh • Peter Hipwell • Pope Charles • Pope of Berea • Atom Funway • St. Joe Riley • iDRMRSR • Phineas Narco • Frater SODDI • Sister Decadence • Poindexter • Friday Jones • Brad Parks • Doeroadx • A. Tuttle • P. Larsen • M. Carey • J. ­Graham • Scott Orsi • ­Michael Peppe • ­Pastor Bedtime • J. Cobblestone • M. Doscher • Pope Phil Monty • Champion Jack Codini • Enki • Crypts • L. ­Minatti • S. Kristensen • Rev. ErRoR • HdMrs. Salacia • H. ­MacAdams • Zontar • J. Miller • DougW • ­Allosaur • Winkie Emoticon • Rev. Farrago • D. Silk • ­Magna-3 • Sr. Melodious Chopps • St. Marc • Kimsker • Subvorkian • Minitru • Edfred • KRK Ryden • M. Marren • Delirus • Rev.Freeman • Eric Moore • Juan Forderode • Deivid’s Thang • Unknown SubGenius •

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

New SubGenius Book DEEP in Progress

The new SubGenius book, The SubGenius Psychlopaedia of Slack -- THE BOBLIOGRAPHON is scheduled to be in stores in August -- IF 9X-Day turns out to be just another Drill. However, the finished manuscript and complete layout with illustrations must be in the hands of the publishers, Thunder's Mouth Press, by May 30. (Note: they are also reprinting our Revelation X!)

We did not get the go-ahead on this project until middle February, giving this book such a short production schedule that ONLY an Emergentile SubGenius could possibly make it, and ONLY by doing it single-handedly. Thus, I, your not especially humble ediotor, am Slack-working 16 hour days both writing and doing the layout. Most of the art, and many of the text pieces, are by dozens of other SubGenii, but this time I am working alone to pull it all together. If the budget was a little bigger, no doubt Paul Mavrides or another pro would be doing the design. Don't tell the publishers this, but I never even learned a page layout program until last week...

Anyway, the cover (see earlier article) and the first 20 pages are done, and it's looking GORGEOUSLY DENSE. I have to hammer together chapters at the rate of one every two days between now and the deadline, so that is practically all I'm doing.

I'm still putting out Hours of Slack, but 3 out of 4 are re-runs from the olden days. Not necessarily a bad thing. I doubt if I will be able to get to teX-Day, which is a major bummer. And since Magdalen and Jesus have their custody case to fight, I'm also doing what they used to -- filling Membership and product orders, and keeping the swag in stock.

So far, so good. I'll be glad when the book is finished and I can do things like read books and watch TV again.* On the other hand, because I am an Emergentile SubGenius, and love "Bob," I am in hog heaven with all this work. Assembling the best of the last ten years' worth of SubG art and writing is ABSOLUTE TOTAL ALL-OUT SLACK for me. Princess Wei is helping in a million ways, including taking on talk-show jobs that I can't do.

The child custody case that Magdalen and Jesus are fighting has drawn a great deal of attention. Several of the better-known web-zines and blogs are covering it, and this has resulted in a huge influx of business for the Church. We've been ordaining new SubGenii at the rate of 3 a day for a couple of months now, and I'm having to restock ARISE! DVDs and The Book of the SubGenius every couple of weeks.

In other words, when that judge threw his temper-tantrum in court (for which he has since recused himself and handed the case to another judge), sure, he did manage to screw up the lives of several people OVER A CARTOON, but he also inadvertently gave the Church a new financial lease on life.

We have never been so busy. Thanks to the influx of new customers and believers, we've paid off some old Stark Fist printing debts and are actually starting to make REAL MONEY (and KEEP IT!) for the first time since August, 1998!

SO... if it takes me two or three months to answer your email, if I ever do, THIS IS WHY.

As I've been doing for the twelve years, I post daily to alt.slack, which I still consider the main SubGenius forum. It has changed in the last two years, since Google Groups made it easier for amateurs to use Usenet newsgroups, but by the same token it has allowed a lot of riff-raff to abuse it. If you look at alt.slack this month, you'll have to skim past an awful lot of "kook posts" to find the juicy true SubGenius material. Luckily, the kook stuff is instantly identifiable -- it's insanely racist. The current kook crop would be FUNNY, and is at first, but unfortunately there are a lot of Bobbies who insist on FEEDING the kooks rather than ignoring them.

You will soon learn which are the Bobbies to avoid this way, too.

I use a newsreader proper to view Usenet groups like alt.slack, so I am able to filter out the kooks and the subkooks who feed them. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I would heartily suggest looking into Usenet and good (free) newsreader programs -- there's a whole world of goodies out there, a lot more than you can get on the Web without spending a lot of money. My personal favorite goodies are the SubGenius ones.

Most of what's in the new book originally came from alt.slack, alt.binaries.slack and alt.binaries.multimedia.slack.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I have to finish the "Bob" chapter today. Back to work! Work-Slack! OK OK SLACK SLACK

* I actually have been taking "breaks from Slack" and have managed to read a novel per week by my current ShorDurPerSav, Terry Pratchett and his FUCKING HILARIOUS Discworld series. Also, I have seen the Peter Jackson KING KONG 7 times so far. (I'm out to beat Harryhausen's record on the first Kong.)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Magdalen's case makes TV news

Magdalen's case makes TV news

http://www.wroctv.com/news/story.asp?id=22255&r=l


From the story:

"Judge Punch refused our previous requests for comment on this case.
And we learned he is currently out of town. Bevilacqua will be back
in court next month, but in front of new judge. Judge Punch recused
himself last week."

-- Please note this does not mean Magdalen has won the case (yet), or
that the case has been settled or dismissed. It is being re-assigned
to another judge, who will be from a completely different country.
Magdalen is hopeful that the new judge will be one who treats the case
with less bias and more neutrality, as judges should.

This news came to us thanks to Modemac's The High Weirdness Project

Wild Hunt has been doing a good job keeping track of the ongoing
case:
www.wildhunt.org

Maybe this ongoing publicity explains why we're STILL selling way too many Ordainment
Memberships a day (like 6 or 7).

Judge Punch may have gotten his Good Christian rocks off briefly by
fucking up one SubGenius family throroughly, but in so doing he also
inadvertently provided the Church of the SubGenius with priceless,
life-giving publicity.

I did like 8 talk shows in the last 2 weeks, and I have had to
constantly replenish Membership pack supplies to meet the demand for
ordainments.

Oddly enough there's a marked increase in orders from military bases...
I must've sent 10 APO/AE packages out last week.

Methinks Judge Punch could smell Geraldo coming.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

New SubGenius Book Cover


Due out in August from Thunder's Mouth. Due into Thunder's Mouth by May 15.

Photoreal Dobbshead by Nenslo

45 Dobbsheads background by Heart Ignition

Princess Wei "R." Doe came up with the spelling "Psychlopaedia" as well as half of "Bobliographon."

"The SubGenius Cyclopaedia" is predicted in the little list of Books and Films in Pamphlet #1, written in 1979.

In other news:
REGISTER FOR 9X-DAY

Updates on Magdalen's custody case

Friday, March 17, 2006

SubGenius Reverend Magdalen ordered not to mention her son on the Internet

This news from Modemac:

Since the news of Reverend Magdalen's legal proceedings broke, people
have been asking Magdalen to post the actual transcripts of the court
proceedings, so that they can read Judge Punch's words for themselves
and verify that she was speaking the truth. The transcripts of the
case were to become available by March 6th. However, for the entire
week since March 3rd, Magdalen has been absent from the Internet, and
she has not been able to make the transcripts available.

The reason for Magdalen's absence (and the lack of the transcripts)
became clear as of Thursday, March 9. On that day, I learned that the
judge had ordered Magdalen to cease all communication on the Internet
regarding her son. This was not a written statement ˆ the judge had
verbally ordered her to remain offline, and no written order was
available. Magdalen stated that even though the order was verbal, the
court considered it to be an official order from the judge, and so she
has had to remain offline since then.

However, as of March 15th, Magdalen had obtained legal reputation from
none other than the law firm of Lipsitz Green Fahringer Roll Salisbury
& Cambria, LLP. (This firm includes Larry Flynt and Marilyn Manson
among their clients.) Magdalen's legal team is challenging this order.
When the order is overturned and she is online again, she will have
quite a story to tell.

IMPORTANT: Because Magdalen has a new legal team, donations to her
legal fund are to be sent to a new address. Paypal donations can still
be sent to magdalen@subgenius.com. Checks or other payments can be
mailed to the attention of:

Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857
http://www.lipsitzgreen.com/attys/Mattingly.asp

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

X-Rated Satanistical Masoniac Artwork, Photos

Ah, yes, Dear Friends.

I have been promising for a year to update the Art Mines, and, by gobbs, I have just uploaded a year's worth of art, cartoons, printable PDFs, little Internetiful movies, lost 8X-Day photos, Chick take-offs, Flash blips, media barrages, comics, proon, etc.

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics13/index.html

This is ART MINES TUNNEL #22

and it contains the Dobbsly stuff from alt.binaries.slack since Sunday-year.

A year of IMBJR, LeMur, Heart Ignition, Artemia Salina, Espira, Zontar. . . it has ALL THE THATs by the forementioned, and the CONNIEs. . . little movies in cellphone-ready tiny WMV format. . . Pamphlets #1 and 2 in PDF format. . . an all-new pamphlet by Pope Coronus, and another by Rev. Priest. . . Lamprey System's TRANSMANIACON, which presents 1000 bulldada images per second, if you have a Mac; and. . .

SubGenius PORTRAITS 2004-2006 -- photos of everybody
plus hand-drawn portraits by Nu-Monet and Artemia Salina

8X-Day pics not previously posted

Although I carefully tweaked and adjusted the main Art Mines stash, the Portraits and Devivals photos stashes are assembled rather more hurriedly. Be ready for larger file sizes. The Index might sate your curiosity without your having to look at each picture full-size. Some Mysteries may await you in the Portraits area, because I've relied on the file names to identify the individuals and I (or the contributors) didn't always label the files with that much detail.

There are definitely all manner of mistakes and typos in this brand-new mass upload, so if anybody wants to tattle to me about fuckups I'll be glad to hear them.

I might also add the other recent news that we got a new SubGenius book deal. We are now assembling the tome "SUBGENIUS CYCLOPAEDIA OF SLACK Vol. 1 -- THE BOBLIOGRAPHON" for Thunder's Mouth Press, who will also be reprinting REVELATION X. The books will be out in August, but that means I have to finish the writing, art selection and layout by May 15!

So, if you notice that Hours of Slack are all RERUNS for the next 2 months, you'll know why.

BUT! At least I got 300 megs of newly old stuff onto SubSITE.

FREE for you to view, in FULL COLOR and STEREOPHONIC SOUND. So, think about contributing to our projects by BUYING SOMETHING from the Scatalog. . . because the stuff we SELL is NOT THE SAME as what we HAND OUT.
http://subgenius.com/scatalog.html

Now that we have refreshed the Art Mines, done the umpteen dozen radio talk shows and Hours of Slack about Magdalen's case, and generally caught up or gotten ahead on the various weekly and monthly SubGenius media stashes, I am planning to vanish into this book project until it is done. We will still be filling orders and accepting donations, but if nobody answers your friendly, chatty email to SubG Foundation, this-all is why. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Now scope out http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics13/index.html

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

WinterStar, Magdalen News on Radio4All

WinterStar, Magdalen News on Radio4All

MP3 and podcast:
http://www.radio4all.net/proginfo.php?id=16817

Church of the SubGenius Special Report
Rev. Ivan Stang at WinterStar 2006, Part 4
Rev. Mary Magdalen's Custody Case In the News

Recorded at WinterStar Symposium 2006 (see rosencomet.com), where Rev. Ivan Stang preached to the NeoPagans and other weirdos regarding a miscarriage of justice in a SubGenius's child custody case.

Some texts being read are by Magdalen, Rev. Carter LeBlanc, Dr. Onan Canobite, Orton Nenslo, Rev. Joe Cosby, Rev. Ivan Stang

This mp3 covers the end of the sermon. We'll post the rest later. For more info on the fundraising and other links, see earlier posts on this blog.

Recorded 2006-02-25
WinterStar Symposium, Atwood Lodge, Dellroy, Ohio

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

We're suddenly in the news, for all the wrong reasons

This just started yesterday morning with Magdalen's press release about her custody problems (see earlier post, below). During the course of yesterday, Feb. 21, the SubGenius website got 36,366 visits -- not hits, but site visits. (Our average generally is about 17,000 visitors a day).

Below are some of the sites that have picked up on this story. So far it's all Internet, but it's big Internet.


http://tinyurl.com/na6af
(wikipedia news)

http://blogs.salon.com/0003494/2006/02/21.html

http://www.johnshirley.net/



http://revstang.blogspot.com/


http://patrhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifiotboy.blogspot.com/2006_02_19_patriotboy_archive.html#11405041544637586
(Yesterday's news, so you'll have to scroll down a bit for this one, same with the boing boing one below)

http://boingboing.net/

Alt.slack
is going slightly berserk, but it always does that.

The good news is that we're being FLOODED with Membership ordainment orders, DVD orders and radio show subscriptions. The Hour of Slack downloads jumped from maybe 300 or 400 to over 1,000. The bad news is that I have a new SubGenius book due by May 15 -- and that includes writing, illustrating, and finished design! I mean, that's good news, but it's bad that two time-consuming events are coinciding.

I wish this notoriety was happening for some other reason than a miscarriage of justice.

On a lighter note, our videos (well, excerpts of the longer ones) are now freely available and easy to view on Video Google, and there's a brand new one up:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1619903307050450812

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

"Bob's" Most Dutiful Servants in Desperate Straits -- You Can Help

http://subgenius.com/updates/maghelp.html

A few years ago, the Bevilacqua family (Rev. Magdalen & Jesus) literally kept The SubGenius Foundation from folding up and vanishing. I had been trying to keep the little business together practically on my own, but it had become a gigantic drain on me personally and financially. Jesus saw potential in it, though, and convinced me not to give up -- BY MOVING TO DALLAS TO HELP FULL TIME. (To this day, Jesus and Magdalen remain the only other SubGeniuses besides myself to LITERALLY repent, quit their jobs and "slack off" in this manner.) By 1998, when Jesus and Magdalen married, the Foundation income had tripled, and not only did we have salaries, but we were able to hire more part time help (Rev. Nickie Deathchick in addition to Will O'Dobbs).

The existing custody case over Magdalen's son, however, created huge legal bills that eventually required Jesus to take a higher-paying job for The Conspiracy. At that point, it was Rev. Magdalen who stepped in and kept the practical, day-to-day, unglamorous aspects of the little biz going. She was doing it basically without pay, too.

When Jesus' job suddenly took the whole family to Austin, Texas and then to Colombus, Georgia, it became obvious that The SubGenius Foundation's Sacred P.O. Box and mail order biz could not continue to jump from city to city, so I took over the whole shebang again. Thanks to the countless ways in which Jesus and Magdalen had streamlined the business, it's become vastly less time-consuming, taking me maybe an hour a day.

Were it not for this family, there'd be no SubSITE any more, HOUR OF SLACK would have ended, I wouldn't be working on a new book and REV-X reprint, etc. etc.

((NO NENSLETICAL WISECRACKS HERE, PLEASE!!))

TIME FOR PAYBACK

For Magdalen and Jesus, a parent's NEXT-TO-WORST NIGHTMARE is taking place in real life, and one reason this injustice is happening is due to, not the Church of the SubGenius, but dumbass misunderstandings of it (and probably pretty much everything else Slackful). Also, if you ask me, on a monstrous misunderstanding of what "freedom" in America is supposed to mean.

I raised two children. I cannot imagine how this must feel. I HAVE had to TRY to imagine it, but, praise Dobbs, that's all I've had to do. I speak to Magdalen on the phone fairly often and she's holding up, amazingly. She's fighting instead of sinking into despair, which, believe me, would be VERY tempting.

This is our chance as a bunch of weirdos to pay back a family of weirdos who have, for YEARS, done the DIRTIEST JOB OF THE CHURCH -- being the interface between it and the Con, on a daily basis.

SubGenius Foundation mail order is doing fine this month. We got several new subscribers to Hour of Slack and a big donation from one of the best guitar players in the world. I got a new book contract and the check is in the mail. So DON'T BUY ANY SUBGENIUS SHIT THIS MONTH! Send your checks or Paypal funds to Magdalen instead, and next time you download an Hour of Slack or SubVid for free, or browse through the Art Mines (which I WILL update, I SWEAR!!), consider it bought with a Love Offering.

That's what this is. A Love Offering. MAGS NEEDS $LACK.

More than that, most important of all, eclipsing any other bullshit I could possibly say, CONBO* NEEDS HIS MOM.

THE STORY and donations links, info:

http://subgenius.com/updates/maghelp.html


* Think "MarJoe"

Friday, January 20, 2006

Bobliography-90, new video

Viewable now (streaming) at:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3601799870447642425

Higher resolution copies are available at alt.binaries.multimedia.slack (and some at alt.binaries.slack) in formats SVCD mpeg2, vcd mpeg1, iPod mp4, regular mpeg4, and DivX avi.

"A 4-minute computer animated music video celebrating Slack, J.R."Bob" Dobbs, The Hour of Slack, comedy, collage, experimental anarchy, X-Day, sexhurt, nudity of Dobbsheads, Prairie Squid, and The Church of the SubGenius."

Director, Music, Animation: Rev. Ivan Stang

(Color Dobbsheads by St. Kenneth Huey, Assassinated Nenmaster Orton Nenslo, and Atom Funway; quick-cut still graphics by IMBJR)

Animator's note:

This seems to happen whenever I get sick. Two weeks ago, it was poison ivy. The itching had me feeling intermittently crappy and I took that as an excuse to take a break from doing clerkish Sacred Scribe work. This usually means that I "splurge" on making artwork, normally a guilty pleasure, because the income it derives is LONG-TERM and that doesn't pay the limo lease bills, kow'm sa'in'? In this case I decided to celebrate my poison ivy by monkeying with Artmatics, the Final Cut Pro effects gizmos, Apple Soundtrack (for music) and old Bryce files that had never been animated. Thanks to THE GRIPTION CLENCH I have new gear that makes animation of old 3D scenes possible.

Anyway I set out to do gloorping Dobbsheads set to gloorping original music. I started with a few random gloorping Dobbsheads and some random ravey beats. Then I kind of went back and forth between the music program and the animation programs, a couple or three times, adding to the animation to match the music and adding to the music to match the animation until the whole mess was suitably crammed with eye and ear candy, all directed entirely at mindless hymnotic Adoration of The Dobbshead.

Many other SubG videos are on Google Video at
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=subgenius


SubVids are also downloadable in differing DVD-ready formats at various times from alt.binaries.multimedia.slack (with smaller, computery versions at alt.binaries.slack)

Friday, January 06, 2006

Two New Hours of Slack -- from Rev. Susie the Floozy

Hour of Slack #1029 -- Susie's Hurricane Spectacular - "Hell & High Water I"

MP3: http://www.radio4all.net/proginfo.php?id=15870
And on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack

Hour of Slack #1030 -- Susie Hurricane 2
"Hell & High Water II"

MP3: http://www.radio4all.net/proginfo.php?id=15891

Ogg Vorbis high and low res files of both new shows are at http://subgenius.com/ts/hos.html
and alt.binaries.slack

Rev. Susie the Floozy produced four timely Hurricane Katrina special editions of her show, "Bob's" SlackTime Funhouse on WREK-Atlanta (wrek.org), and we're honored to present them in this untimely fashion as Bonus Floozian Hours of Slack. Susie's editing is SubGenius Media Barrage Style at its most battering!

The Church of the SubGenius Radio Ministry seeks to brainwash you totally into abject lifelong subservience to The High Epopt and Living SlackMaster, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Keywords
Hurricane Katrina, Susie the Floozy, Slack, J.R."Bob" Dobbs, Bob Dobbs, Hour of Slack, comedy, collage, experimental, anarchy, X-Day, nudity, sexhurt, Prairie Squid, SubGenius