Reminder for Clevelandians: "Devival" This Weekend, Oct. 15

http://www.subgenius.com/newdevivals.html

I will be ranting at THE NE OHIO WITCHES BALL/"CON ON THE COB", 7 p.m., Saturday, October 15, 2011

http://www.cononthecob.com/

Clarion Hudson at 240 East Hines Hill Road Hudson, OH 44236

Also See This More Dobbscentric NEO Witches Ball Website

http://www.neowitchesball.com/

From what I can tell this is sort of like two different events crammed together -- a 4-day geek/comics/crafts/sf con and a 1-night somewhat "neopagan-y" Halloween party (The Witches Ball, I assume based roughly on the older one in Columbus). Wei and I are planning to spend Saturday there because some of the "con" (not Con) stuff sounds fun and involves monsters, and we'll probably hang out after my rant, for bands and also guest parties where they'll probably give us free drinks.

I don't know for sure that a single ordained SubGenius will be there, and the only organizer I've met is the magician Michael Mirth, who performed at Starwood -- STAGE magic, not that other kind that's COMPLETELY fake.

For me this is good because it means I'm not "preaching to the choir," but doing "SubGenius 101," which I can probably do while asleep. And it's much more fun to preach at strangers than at SubGeniuses, because the strangers are always much more polite and don't preach back at the tops of their lungs. But, they are paying me, so as always under that condition, I will give it my all. (Meaning I won't touch any inebriant all day.) Before and after, Wei and I can ogle nerd girls in dorky costumes, artwork, vendor crap we can't afford, and miniatures. There's even a special effects make-up workshop. And something called "DEVO SPICE" -- I dunno if that's a band or what, but it just before the "devival" so I guess I'll find out.

The only thing I'm not looking forward to is hauling swag in for what will probably not be many sales. But every single penny counts. Who knows, we might even save a soul or two. And you never know when somebody will turn up who is SO drunk that they want to buy one of EVERYTHING.

VERY Heavily Revised SubSITE Page: SubG Blogs, Websites, Podcasts, YouTubes List

http://www.subgenius.com/contact.htm

I've been at this (among other things) for days now, and, ASIDE FROM WHAT'S STILL MISSING, every link should work. MOST of them are "new" in that they weren't on this page before; 3/4 of what used to be there died and have been properly buried.

Includes:

Branch Offices

Usenet

Other SubGenius Websites

SubGenius Shops (unofficial)

E-Groups & Lists

Clenches & Schisms

War-Gods of AntiMusic (doktorbands)

SubGenius Radio on the Web

Since 1995 this list, and its categories, have mutated considerably. Before this week's monstro revision, Rev. Bucky was the last person to attack it, and that was years ago.

Just checking to make sure the links WORK takes an hour! FOLLOWING all the places these various sites lead, well, I'll leave that to those with a lot more spare time than I have.

I know that a lot of sites MUST be missing. For instance, the great SubGenius band THE AMINO ACIDS is not represented, because they technically broke up (except for SubGenius devival purposes). But... I don't know how many OTHER bands replaced them under bandleader Rev. Angry Larry!

I MUST SURELY have left out many important sites and forums with almost CRIMINAL negligence. WON'T YOU HELP? If I left yours out, EMAIL ME, damn it! "stang@subgenius.com" isn't that hard to remember. Trying to keep up with 30 years' worth of Clenches has turned my remaining half-a-brain-cell to MUSH. ONLY YOU can fill in the holes in this Swiss Cheese of a SubGenius Internet List.

It's funny... I remember a time when all SubGenius spin-offs were printed on PAPER, and the list of THOSE was a 16-page document with TINY PRINT! QUIJIBO was, as far as I know, the last of those zines... and I can't find a Quijibo website now! (However, I DID scan almost all Church-related pages of all QUIJIBOs for the SubGenius History Class, which I've been considering turning into the SubGenius History PAY-PER-VIEW website.)

Meanwhile... won't you help out an old Sacred Scribe? I've asked around, and got a few new clues and hints and URLs, but I KNOW there's still a lot missing. If you know of something?... WHIP IT OUT.

14X-Day Official Report Now on SubSITE (but growing)

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day_Pics/index.html

This version has two main photo sections besides the text report:

1) Photos by Stang-Doe, now carefully identified in file names and selected in order by day, several with MP3 soundtracks -- but only from Wednesday night, the only jam we had to work from until today, and the Hour of Slack first part from Thursday. More audio (plus videos) will be added as we sort through the various choices of recordings).

2) Photos by various other SubGenii, most of them collected fom Facebook and thus mostly chronologically random due to FB's renaming of photo files. I went to exactly as much trouble to make sideways shots upright as the original posters did. I did however remove the shots that were so amateurish that there was no image at all, and those so out of focus that they might as well have been shot and posted by a Pink. Ordinary photos of ordinary-looking people eating at picnic tables were likewise removed (unless their timing was dramatic.)

3) Lists of more 14X-Day stashes of photos, audio, YouTubes.

4.) The Bobbie Awards list. Shots of Bobbie Awards recipients begin here:

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day_Pics/14X-Day_StangDoe/2011_07_03-BobbieAwards-Bands/index2.html

What the report lacks is the gigabytes we will cull from the 23 hours of DV video, as well as most of the audio. That material will take literally weeks to sort through for Hour of Slack and YouTube use.

We retain the hottest nude shots for private trading.

Next: The endless track-division of the dozens of 2-hour audio files, and the work of making the videotapes presentable even for SubGenii.

Last-Minute News, Changes, Improvements on Main SubSITE X-Day Page

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day.html

Rev. Stang Reads "GREEN EGGS AND HAM" to his grandkids

http://www.subgenius.com/MP3s/Green_Eggs_and_Ham.mp3

Our OrthoStangian Convox for My Sib's Son's Perelithian Liaison

By Warden Fendant Stang and Primate Wei

Around May 26, after seeing the works of Saunt M. C. Escher at the Akronian Math, Primate Wei and myself were Vocoed for a Convox of OrthoStangians for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of the son of my sib, Anti-C!, and a Pruittessian suur. Because we had to leave the Slackianist Concent and venture extramuros, we obtained a new cartabla for our fetch.

Along the way we stayed at various small but famed maths, using a jeejaw to communicate with our fraas and suurs at each to alert them to our approach. Travelling extramuros, one is forced to break the Discipline, and I admit that we used not only jeejaws but syntactic devices at some inns sometimes even with the help of local Itas.

The roads were good and our fetch dependable, and much of the journey was pleasurable, for we passed many a productive fuel tree and page tree orchard. We often had to use super-Allswell and Jumpweed for trade, and to prevent its discovery by the agents of the Saecular powers (and attendant wasted hours before courts of dour local Panjandrums) we hid the Allswell and Jumpweed in the back of the fetch. Also, to keep the Extras from recognizing us as Avout, we traveled sans belt, chord or sphere, wearing sline's clothing and hiding our hair beneath headgear bearing kinagrams of sports teams.

Our first stop was at the Wisterian Concent for Dialogs both Suvian and Periklynian with the Hierarchs there, concerning multitudinous details regarding the 14th Apert of X-Day. Fellow OrthoSubGenians at this Convox included Suur Pisces, Suur Joy, Fraa Suds and Fraa Nigel.

At the nearby Spencerian suvin of the Centenarians Pater and Petal Nostril, we enjoyed a traditional Messal, as elaborate as any of legend for which this Clench is known.

At the Concent of Saunt Sophie, Fraa Frop and Suur Decadence presented us with a book of specfic entitled "Anathem" by the pre-Reconsititution writer Neal Stephenson. Fraa Frop later showed a speely about uncommonly young Vlor Saunts entitled "Kick Ass," which left an impression on Warden Fendant Stang.

The agrarian math of Pa Tilles likewise proved an instructive and most enjoyable hostel. Pa Tilles presented us with the Challenge of the Vanishing Calf, a calca none has yet to solve.

While conducting Dialogs with Saunt Byron Werner and Saunt Sterno in the Arkansanian Concent, new Dobbsharkian calcas involving more than one solution were developed. *

In the Concent of the OrthoStangians we stayed with the Thousander known as Pa Pappy, and prepared for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of my fid. There was some suspense over this Aut, as my sib's former Perelithian partner, who had been rejected from the mathic world in the Aut of Anathem, nonetheless returned from a sline prison to the OrthoStangian concent for the ceremony. Fraa Frop, my sibs and I feared that he would go Hundreder during the Aut, and we were prepared to employ vlor against him. Luckily his spinal clamp prevented violence, and to his credit he left immediately upon the completion of the Aut.

We are now back inside the gates of the Northern OrthoStangian Concent, replete with many memories, upsights, and, I must confess, a few treasured if illicit speely recordings that later generations might hopefully use in their researches centuries hence.

* The most recent Weiardian calca:

Saunt NHGH asks of The Dobbs: "Man made booze; "God" made pot. Who do you believe in?"

The Dobbs replies:" Pot."

Dozens of Newly Old SubGenius Videos Have Migrated from Google Video to YouTube

Google Video was around before YouTube, and allowed members to load in movies of any length, so I loaded it with my older films, some of the SubG music videos from a few years back, and whole devival rants and Amino Acids concerts. My YouTube account only held the shorter and more recent items for the most part. Others took my Googles and put them on their YouTubes and got thousands of views, especially with my old 16mm films.

Google first announced they were just going to erase everything on April 29. Then they announced they had reconsidered (i.e. were threatened with a class action lawsuit, probably), and now are planning to "auto-migrate" everything over to YouTube accounts.

I decided to look into it, and found that a) I don't trust them to auto-anything and b) it's really easy to do it yourself and doesn't take much time per video. So, I moved a couple of dozen items over there. I have a couple dozen more to do yet, but they're mostly long, like the Baltimore 2007 devival, whole Amino Acids concerts, the old Club No video from 1991, that kind of thing, and in some cases the compression is lousy.

BUT! There's a lot of "new" stuff now on YouTube, which younger or newer SubGenii might never have been aware of at all.

My YouTube Channel


Up at the very top it says ALL, UPLOADS and FAVORITES. Click on UPLOADS and you'll see the 12 "faves" I picked (and which you may well have seen before, as they've had thousands of YouTube views on other people's channels) but if you scroll down you'll see many more in the descending chronological order in which they were uploaded, with most recent first.

OR,

At upper left is the UPLOADS box.
At the bottom of the box under the 3rd video it says "see all." (Not "see all" under favorites - those are videos by others that I like.)

The box gets bigger and you SHOULD see them in most-recent order. If the list starts with "Attention Spazzblister," that's the oldest (or the first thing I put on YouTube, rather), so toggle "Date Added" to get the most recent uploads, which starts with my 40-minute underground film from 1973, "Let's Visit the World of the Future."

MOST of the videos range from 30 seconds to about 6 minutes.

Or, blow all that off and just try, say:

Let's Visit the World of the Future

… you'll see plenty of the others in the list of related stuff on the right.

"Reproduction Cycle" from 1978 is a big favorite since it's porn stop-motion claymation of Martian microorganisms.

Here's a timely music video made from a.b.s. art:
X-Day's A-Comin' - King of Slack


The Making of MTV-SubGenius
is another long one, 37 minutes.

Then there's sections of "ARISE!" like
ARISE! Chapter 05 - The Life of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

I also rearranged my Favorites (by others) and it's a pretty good stash of both SubG and non-SubG stuff.

Revised, Updated Official 14X-Day Page with Expanded Lists of Performers, Events, Bands, Instructions

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day.html

This revised page now covers almost EVERYTHING about the X-Day fest, its new location, and also points to a pretty active 14X-Day Facebook page.

We have lately run into "counterfeit X-Day pages," just as there are counterfeit "Bobs" out there. This one has the GOOD links (and also quite a bit of nudity if you look at the "X-Days of Yore" links near the bottom. Not that any of you would be interested in nekkid pictures.

OOPS! CORRECTION to recent post regarding Universal Life Church ordainments

I recently published a blog suggesting that the Universal Life Church had moved and was now in Seattle, and gave a new website to contact (since ULC is more well known in many states than SubGenius). I was misinformed. I had been getting occasional complaints from SubG ministers that they'd gotten no response to the postcards that come with SubGenius packs, which they mail to Modesto, California for a secondary ordination. I think that it's just that the ULC staff in Modesto was swamped.

The ULC Monastery in Seattle is NOT the original ULC, but a splinter group that is no longer authorized by the true ULC. I have been in touch with the original ULC in Modesto since my earlier announcement and understand things a little better. They have modernized their ordainment process and now accept ordainment requests electronically. But they still prefer the request in writing, such as the postcard we include in our Ordainment Package.

So, to get yourself ordained (above and beyond your perfectly good SubGenius ordination), send in your ULC request postcard, and/or go to the true original ULC website:

http://www.ulchq.com

and fill out their online form under the "Ordination" window. THIS IS FREE, although they accept donations. You can also buy nice printed wallet cards and certificates from them for $5 to $10, but those are not necessary. The important thing is that your name be registered with ULC. Same goes for SubGenius ordinations. If questioned by a city or state official you can always request a letter of credentials from us or ULC.

The Modesto ULC website has a very useful list of the specific credentials required for recognition as a minister, state by state in the U.S.A.:
http://www.ulchq.com/statelaws.htm

I apologize for sending out wrong information, and I thank Rev. Sysyphus for bringing this to my attention.

New Book on THE FIRESIGN THEATER Says Very Nice Things About Us

Taylor Jessen and Seeland Records has put out a book-dataDVD set, THE
DUKE OF MADNESS MOTORS. The book is full of interviews and essays; the
data-DVD carries MP3s of ALL their radio shows from 1970-72, which is
like 100 shows.

I haven't heard the 100 shows yet but I did get this far in the book:

"Yessiree, friends, these guys are some funny. Definitely "ha ha"
funny, but also funny dramatic, funny poetic, funny Dada. It's movies
for the mind that have only ever been matched by the likes of Ken
Nordine, Jean Shepherd, and Joe Frank. You can hear the tradition
continuing every Friday morning on Negativland's OVER THE EDGE series
on KPFA, and shows from the Church of the SubGenius like PUZZLING
EVIDENCE and THE HOUR OF SLACK."

It then refers to these shows being in "the Bulldada format" and says
more nice things about how even if we've been on for decades, every
minute of every hour still has that same "verbal jazz" spirit.

I just read the paragraph to Lonesome Cowboy Dave's message machine so
he won't feel so lonesome. (We're all a wee bit snowed in here
today.)

We also got TWO $200 donations to the show suddenly, so Dave even gets
a check. Actually I have several royalty checks to cut.

DUKE OF MADNESS MOTORS collection can be had from seelandrecords.com
and firesigntheater.com. Might be a good idea to move fast on this
one, if you're a serious collector. The whole package is $50 I think.

2011 UPDATE to ULC ordination instruction

When you purchase a SubGenius Membership and Ordination, that little card that comes with the package (which you fill out yourself) is all you need to perform weddings almost everywhere we know of in the U.S.A. and, evidently, most other countries. You don't need any more documentation from us. We ask that you send in the little confirmation postcard to us mainly because so many of our Memberships are bought as gifts for others and we want to make sure we have the right person on record.

I, Stang, and countless other SubGenius ministers, have performed dozens of marriages in many states. Every now and then a city might require a one-time fee of like $15 to be registered in that particular city. (This happened to me recently after a New York City wedding but I had no trouble getting "certified" once I paid the city's fee and sent a copy of my SubG ordination card.)

We have offered the Universal Life Church ordainment as a kind of back-up, because they were better known than we are. According to their old rules, any ULC minister (such as myself) could ordain new ULC ministers. They have evidently changed this recently, and they also changed addresses and methods. For one thing they seem to have moved from Modesto, CA to Seattle:

ULC Monastery Staff
1425 Broadway Ste. 67
Seattle, WA 98122 USA

They now say that the only way to become a Minister of their church is through their online ordination process at :

http://www.themonastery.org/

This is still free, although they now (not unreasonably) charge to mail you the certificate ($7), a plastic ID card ($12, much fancier than the one I got in 1979) or even a big $50 package.

Hmmm. Maybe we need to update our ordainment package too.

To repeat: You are already a SubGenius minister and your card proves it. (You can also request an official letter from me if some picky state demands such things.) The ULC ordination is a bonus you can choose or not.

If your SubG package came with a postcard addressed to ULC in California, you can toss that, and just register with them online if you wish.

Thanks and praise "Bob,"

Rev. Ivan Stang