Monday, September 17, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Stang Retirement "News Release" Confession
We hate to have to reveal this so soon, but the hoax (originally published ONLY on SubGenius sites) is already making the news -- which should tell you something about the dependability of the news.
That "news release" about Stang retiring was merely another in a series of SubIntelligence Tests: a Gullibility Test in this case. We truly thought it too preposterous for ANYBODY to believe. So, despite previous similar tests, we are again sincerely surprised to see how many, ahem, "SubGeniuses" failed utterly to see through what should have been grossly obvious as a put-on -- especially within the context of The Church of the SubGenius. Every now and then we do things like this to sweep out the wishful thinkers, Gimme-Bobs, the eagerly gullible and a new species: those too dumb EVEN to be a SubGenius (something we previously imagined to be a contradiction in terms).
Some folks can't handle or even recognize satire unless it has a laugh track or Smiley-Face icon attached to it, and those are NOT the kind of people that are going to benefit from "Bob's" Church; many such individuals have in fact become huge liabilities in times past. You might call it "Spring Cleaning." Weeding out the "believer" types and/or the Slacklessly judgmental -- or, rather, setting up a situation whereby they weed themselves out in reflex butthurt ragequitting -- increases the likelihood of the Xists coming through this year, FINALLY. For, as it says in The PreScriptures, "The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment."
Again, for those with reading comprehension disabilities:
I, Stang, am not retiring; we just wanted to see how various people, especially certain chronically jealous haters, would react to a transparently absurd hoax. We were eager to see who would WANT to believe it.
The most hilariously indignant responses were selected for reading on HOUR OF SLACK #1365, aired last Sunday night. Special thanks to Dr. Legume for writing the news release, and to the chronic whiner who did everything he possibly could to get himself "banned," yet failed even at that. What he DID manage to do was inspire this particular test session.
http://traffic.libsyn.com/hourofslack/Hour_of_Slack_1365.mp3
There will be another pop quiz tomorrow.
For those who must have this sort of thing spelled out, the news about the SubGenius mom's missing child, and his subsequently being found, was NOT a hoax.
That "news release" about Stang retiring was merely another in a series of SubIntelligence Tests: a Gullibility Test in this case. We truly thought it too preposterous for ANYBODY to believe. So, despite previous similar tests, we are again sincerely surprised to see how many, ahem, "SubGeniuses" failed utterly to see through what should have been grossly obvious as a put-on -- especially within the context of The Church of the SubGenius. Every now and then we do things like this to sweep out the wishful thinkers, Gimme-Bobs, the eagerly gullible and a new species: those too dumb EVEN to be a SubGenius (something we previously imagined to be a contradiction in terms).
Some folks can't handle or even recognize satire unless it has a laugh track or Smiley-Face icon attached to it, and those are NOT the kind of people that are going to benefit from "Bob's" Church; many such individuals have in fact become huge liabilities in times past. You might call it "Spring Cleaning." Weeding out the "believer" types and/or the Slacklessly judgmental -- or, rather, setting up a situation whereby they weed themselves out in reflex butthurt ragequitting -- increases the likelihood of the Xists coming through this year, FINALLY. For, as it says in The PreScriptures, "The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment."
Again, for those with reading comprehension disabilities:
I, Stang, am not retiring; we just wanted to see how various people, especially certain chronically jealous haters, would react to a transparently absurd hoax. We were eager to see who would WANT to believe it.
The most hilariously indignant responses were selected for reading on HOUR OF SLACK #1365, aired last Sunday night. Special thanks to Dr. Legume for writing the news release, and to the chronic whiner who did everything he possibly could to get himself "banned," yet failed even at that. What he DID manage to do was inspire this particular test session.
http://traffic.libsyn.com/hourofslack/Hour_of_Slack_1365.mp3
There will be another pop quiz tomorrow.
For those who must have this sort of thing spelled out, the news about the SubGenius mom's missing child, and his subsequently being found, was NOT a hoax.
Friday, June 15, 2012
NEWS RELEASE
Rev. Ivan Stang announced today his retirement from the SubGenius Foundation, citing his ill demeanor and declining patience with internal conflict among the members of the SubGenius Church, appointing long-time collaborator Dr.K'taden Legume to the position of President and CEO of the Foundation.
Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, "The Hour of Slack", and attend personal speaking engagements. Rev.Stang later commented, "I'm sick to death of dealing with idiots when my time can be better spent attempting to capture the vicious Jaggi".
Dr.Legume immediately appointed Priestess Pisces as his VP, and stated that his first order of business is to examine the membership rolls and "weed out the dead weight and the malcontents".
Legume announced that there will be a huge addendum to the church's list of banned members prohibited from attending the SubGenius Foundation's annual X-Day event, to be released to the public on June 30.
"This is the beginning of a new era for the SubGenius Church", Legume stated earlier today, "My vision for the SubGenius Church is a radical departure from the tolerant policies of the past. While I expect it to be rough at the beginning as the flock gets used to the idea of a more controlled environment and more selective and stringent requirements for membership and participation in the SubGenius community, they will realize, that, as always, my way is the best way...the ONLY way. I expect this will be a new golden age for the SubGenius Church."
Dr.Legume will be receiving a six figure salary commensurate with his duties and experience.
Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, "The Hour of Slack", and attend personal speaking engagements. Rev.Stang later commented, "I'm sick to death of dealing with idiots when my time can be better spent attempting to capture the vicious Jaggi".
Dr.Legume immediately appointed Priestess Pisces as his VP, and stated that his first order of business is to examine the membership rolls and "weed out the dead weight and the malcontents".
Legume announced that there will be a huge addendum to the church's list of banned members prohibited from attending the SubGenius Foundation's annual X-Day event, to be released to the public on June 30.
"This is the beginning of a new era for the SubGenius Church", Legume stated earlier today, "My vision for the SubGenius Church is a radical departure from the tolerant policies of the past. While I expect it to be rough at the beginning as the flock gets used to the idea of a more controlled environment and more selective and stringent requirements for membership and participation in the SubGenius community, they will realize, that, as always, my way is the best way...the ONLY way. I expect this will be a new golden age for the SubGenius Church."
Dr.Legume will be receiving a six figure salary commensurate with his duties and experience.
Friday, May 04, 2012
SubGenius Family Vacation 2011-2012, 15 X-Day, Dorkus
Some readers may have noticed that although I enjoy posting endless tl:dr rantings and anecdotes to the Ministers-only ScrubGenius forum on a daily basis, I hate "blogging," and put things on this page only to advertise something, when I HAVE to. Current spam follows.Some nice people offered to pay me for blogging, so I have sent some of my better ScrubGenius posts and some really old ones from alt.slack when it was still, well, a SubGenius group, to RAW STORY for their new blog page CULTURE CLUTCH, which already features the great Dr. Hal Robins. None of my, er, "blogs" are posted yet but will be soon. Much of it concerns my personal ShorDurPerSavs outside of the Church, like protozoans, geologically surreal landscapes, monsters, and hiking trail restrooms.
CULTURE CLUTCH BLOG by Dr. Hal and Rev. Stang on RAWSTORY.COM
SUBGENIUS FAMILY VACATION photos
We are only one-third of the way through this project, as our winter "vacations" last 3 months now. (I pack my office into the back of the iVan.) But I'm running audio clips from it on Hour of Slack, so it's time to post the photos of what I'm talking about on the show. There is a "best-of" section at the front for those people busy enough to not wade through the whole thing. On the other hand, if you are interested in Southwestern desert landscapes, rotting buildings, and strange names and logo-art of local beers, you might love all of it.
15X-Day/Starwood
We have already pointed you to the main 1X-Day XV pages, but Dr. Legume has created some new videos on that subject that are worth seeing and possibly highly offensive:
The Uninvited SubGenius With the Small Hairy Penis
A Trip To SubGenius Heaven - The Director's Cut
Lonesome Cowboy Dave's New Book
Actually it is by Dave and his old buddy Wes Jenkins (heard on Hour of Slack decades ago!): DORKUS AND THE AFFAIRS OF LORD WILLING It is only available as 3 kinds of e-books, not yet as a printed physical book. I bought the PDF because that's the one anyone can read, even me. There is also a video!
Here is the accurate blurb: ENDLESS YARNS! GRIPPING GRAPHICS! ! TITILLATING TINTYPES! A Novel by Dave Deluca & Wes Jenkins. Set in the heart of the Brutish Empire and the uncivil belly of Merika of the 1860's, this is a bumpy tale of a twisted aristocrat, who is conducting sovereign-sanctioned ergot experiments on his entourage, who in turn are controlled by dark and fatuous forces. Dickens meets Jules Verne in Dada soaked Victoriana. Available exclusively in EBOOK format from Puzzled Squirrel Press. Visit Puzzled Squirrel Press for more details. Now also available from iBooks!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
15X-Day Official Site Finally Up
Don't miss the "Instructions" and "Dos and Don'ts" pages etc. . There's plenty of new stuff there, including a triple Pipeload of great new art by Dr. K'taden Legume.
There's also an active 15X-Day Facebook page.
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