An X-DAY PRESENT from ALT.BINARIES.SLACK and THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION

A new tunnel has been excavated in the SubGenius.com ART MINES:

ART MINES TUNNEL CLUSTER #23

This is the first major excavation since June, 2006. Therefore this stash contains ONE YEAR'S WORTH of Slackwork by dozens of artists and arteests… probably around 1500 to 2000 pieces. AND THIS IS JUST THE GOOD STUFF! We didn't include EVERYTHING in this stash, just our faves.

There are actually 3 new tunnels… there was too much for one. Tunnel 1 contains work by the four most prolific: IMBJR, LeMur, Heart Ignition and Bat Mummy. There's also a "MISCELLANEOUS" page with dozens of pieces by folks who only did the one piece that year. NOTE: there is a special "XXX-IMBJR" section that REALLY IS "adults only." And squeamish adults may want to think twice before venturing into IMBJR's "special room"!

Tunnel 2 contains numerous tributaries by Reverends Artemia Salina, ErRoR, iDRMRSR, Zontar, some raunchy 3d ones by BO-nanana (use your old set of blue-red 3D glasses for these!), Ennui Malaise, generic spam harvester bait, Heathen, Legume, Lord Of Eltingville, Neuromanson, Norel Pref, Razna, Unclaimed Mysteries, and some GIF-mations by Walter Cosmac.

There are even some leftover photos from 9X-Day in a special 9X section, pics that didn't get to us in time to be used in the 9X Photonovella.

P.S. I did this instead of editing the 9X-Day videos. I am STILL gonna try to do that too before XX-Day.

X-Day - SubG Condoms - News of Magdalen - Signs of Witness - Links

X-DAY IS ABOUT TO SLAM DOWN UPON THE EARTH!

And we are ready! The Annual SubGenius Migration to our breeding grounds in the wilds of rural western New York State has begun.

If you haven't heard about Brushwood and would like to await the saucers with a hundred or two of your fellow SubGenii (and some great bands!), see the fully expanded X-Day intro and registration pages on SubSITE.

Or see Modemac's X-Day Pages

You don't have to be at Brushwood to be Ruptured, but it might be more fun if you have the SNAZZY NEW ACCOUTREMENTS that have been added to the Special X-Day Page of the SubGenius CafePress Store!

We went crazy adding 10X-Day pre-memorabilia and souvenirs to our OTHER online shop. Now, YOU can go crazy WITH them! Huge range of swag from badges and stickers to shirts and shotguns. CafePress now has several nice shirts that come in up to a dozen different colors, and there are now shirts for "Plus Size Women." If you haven't looked at the store in awhile, you may be surprised at the variety of women's clothes offered now.

We will not necessarily have all this stuff at the Sacred Sales Shack at Brushwood. We'll probably bring ONE of everything new and it'll be first come, first serve. At an X-Day Drill that could have a double meaning. We suggest buying NOW NOW NOW -- in fact this is true of ALL SubGenius products in BOTH online catalogs, because:

EVERYTHING MUST GO BY JULY 5!!!

VIEW OR DOWNLOAD THE COMPLETE SCHEDULE BROCHURE IN PDF FORMAT! (360 kb) Page 1 is last in this layout, as this version was prepared for printing to 11x17 paper, to be folded. The brochure also includes Rev. Joe Cosby's short story "BRACE YOURSELVES."

For FREE DVDs of documentaries covering past X-Days, learn how to download Usenet binaries and look at alt.binaries.multimedia.slack! The unfree versions (including the revised, spectacular 1998 one) are in our Scatalog.

You can also find all manner of X-Day related videos on YouTube and Google Video

-----------------------

New SubGenius Health Product: "Bob" Condoms!

Don't leave Earth without 'em!
SUBGENIUS CONDOMS! For real! Includes both Dobbsheaded and Connie-doms!

Also, condom designs by Rev. Winston Smith, Coop, Peter Bagge!

------------------------------

NEWS OF REV. MAGDALEN'S CUSTODY CASE

Rev. Magdalen on her child custody case:

"Well, we all waited expectantly for the decision to come out on June 8, but the court decided to "hold it over to the next term", which means they'll be releasing it, supposedly, the Friday two weeks after June 20, which puts it squarely at July 6. They did not inform us ahead of time they were doing this, and in fact it's not really legal, as the law says they have to decide in 30 days. But this does happen from time to time, my lawyer says, and there's nothing we can do. Oh yeah and they might decide NOT to hold it over to the next term but instead release their decision at a random time between now and July 6. So it's like they're saying, have fun checking the website every day to see if maybe today is that random day that probably won't even happen! It's really awful.

"I've asked if I can get my son for a six-week summer visitation, like other non-custodial parents get, starting after his school year ends next Friday, but I haven't heard back yet."

So Magdalen continues to be "on hold," waiting for the slow grinding wheels of Justice to reach some kind of decision.

I can't even IMAGINE what this must be like. I'm a parent, and in the 90s I worried LIGHTLY that such a thing might happen to my family. It didn't, and now my kids are grown, so it can't. (In fact my daughter is getting married in about a week!) I suppose I can imagine WORSE things... but... this insanity has been going on for almost TWO YEARS now.

This is the kind of thing that makes me think almost ANYTHING is better than a COURT CASE. Once your life is in the hands of lawyers and judges, YOU ARE SCREWED whether you win or lose. Same with doctors and hospitals. When it gets so bad that you're dependent on THEM -- that's REALLY REALLY *REALLY* BAD.

The JUDGES shall be at The Judgment. The JUDGMENTAL shall be at The Judgment. The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment.

I wish The Judgment would hurry up and happen, and get it over with.

BACKGROUND STORY ON MAGDALEN CASE, DONATIONS BUTTON

----------------------------------------

HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIGNS OF WITNESS?

SIGNS OF WITNESS is Rev. John Shirley's ongoing newsblog of END TIMES NEWS -- similar to Modemac's Bulldada NewsBlog, but with more serious scary world news and less of the whimsical news of dumbasses. I have been reading this daily, and it's been scaring me so badly that I've had to go look at Modemac's Bulldada News Blog wiki just to calm down.

---------------------------------------

Gearwire.com Reveals Hour of Slack Production Secrets!

This is a 2-part interview by Gearwire editor Rev. Joe Wallace with Rev. Ivan Stang specifically about Hour of Slack production and SubGenius audio history.

Part One
Part Two

----------------------

The SubGenius Alphabet by IMBJR

You may enjoy this short video by the celebrated SubGenius artist, IMBJR.

---------------------------

A Socratic Dialogue on the Superiority of the Church of the SubGenius

---------------------------

Dr. Hal, KrOB Forge Ahead With Radio Ministry

PIRATE CAT RADIO 87.9 FM TWEAKS FCC, RADIO CONVENTIONS

SAN FRANCISCO - The pioneering Ask Dr. Hal! show has now adapted fully to the alternate medium of radio, according to its broadcasters, Dr. Howland Owll and KrOB. Since the closing of the popular night club phenomenon last experienced by eager audiences at San Francisco's 12 Galaxies night club until February 2007, diversification has been the word as the show, chameleon-like, has metamorphosed to its current on- air version on the innovative S.F. Pirate Radio station, Pirate Cat 87.9 FM.

Just as in its salad days under the aegis of impresario Chicken John, the show still features the question-and-answer format of yore. Listeners are encouraged to call the show during its broadcast hours (10 PM - Midnight Wednesday nights) using the Sacred Telephone Number, (415) 626-6180. By doing so they receive answers to questions they are able to pose on any conceivable subject. But now, the traditional "gratuity" is officially waived -- these answers are provided for merely the cost of a standard telephone call. But there is much more happening in the show's new, cyber-age radio version. For one thing, an innovative podcast makes the full show available twenty-four hours each day! Yes, it's a new world for friends and followers of Ask Dr. Hal! Just go to

PIRATE CAT RADIO

and enjoy two solid hours of unique entertainment through the medium of streaming audio.

Dr. Hal's main site

THE HOUR OF SLACK and other SubGenius Radio Shows

----------------------------

ALT.SLACK

This newsgroup remains your best bet for IMMEDIATE, UNCONTROLLED SubGenius news, commentary, reviews, rants, flaming, and the Casting Out of False Prophets. It's really what the old Stark Fist zine turned into after it got out of control.

You can find even more groups and email or web forums, along with Other SubGenius Websites and dozens of important links on our CONTACTS PAGE.

Coming Soon: OnLine Stark Fist 2007

The SubGenius Online Mail Order Catalogs

Gearwire.com Reveals Hour of Slack Production Secrets! Plus: "Bob" Condoms!

http://www.gearwire.com/stang-interview-part-one.html

This is part 1 of a 3-part interview by editor Rev. Joe Wallace with yours truly specifically about Hour of Slack production and SubGenius audio history. Part two will be up tomorrow, according to theory.

Also in the news:

SUBGENIUS CONDOMS! For real!

Also, condom designs by Rev. Winston Smith, Coop, Peter Bagge!

May 'STARK FIST OF REMOVAL' Newsletter - teX-Day, New DVDs, Misc. Linkslack

I just sent this to the 3,000 on the SubGenius Email List of the Gods
( SIGN UP HERE IF YOU HAVEN'T -- we cannot automatically add you! )
but I figured it wouldn't hurt to splash it around here too.

THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL Newsletter May "2007"
In This Issue:
teX-Day This Weekend - and Free Videos
Euro-X-Day, May 12
Amino Acids CD release
X-Day is Coming! (July)
Starwood and Burning Star
The SubGenius GAME is back!
X-Day '98 Now on DVD
Night of Slack now on DVD
New Animation DVD
Dr. Hal's New Dinosaur Book
MANY LINKS OF FUN
Some Oddball SubGenius Video Links
News for Ministers, News of Magdalen

It's the spam you requested! And, as promised last time, it's not even all spam. After the list of upcoming devivals and new religious products from the Church (DVDs and a game), this newsletter has a looong line of links to many Slack-filled forms of free Time Control.

Alt.Slack remains your MOST up-to-date (and maddening!) source of SubGenius Brand News and -- uh, SATIRE. Yeah, that's right, SATIRE. That's all it is. Good clean healthy satire, Officer.

There are many ways to look at Usenet newsgroups like alt.slack, but the easiest for most Subs is probably via Google Groups' version of alt.slack

*******
TeX-Day this weekend; teX-Day videos online

TeX-Day 2007 is THIS WEEKEND, May 5, and we're EXCITED, since it's a meeting of many of old-time original Texas Apostles as well as many new and ASTONISHINGLY YOUNG ones. (They may seem so young to me only because I am now astonishingly OLD.) Such was our excitement that we've thrash-edited the videotapes and stills from teX-Day 2005 into what Rev. Artemia Salina calls an "actio-mentary" -- and also a 10-minute promo trailer.

Both versions are on one page at:
http://subgenius.com/newdevivals.html

The longer one features many more songs and sermon clips than the short promo, including Rev. Chupacabra's timeless and heartfelt testimonial, and slo-mo replay of many Launchings.

This year's teX-Day III:
May 5-6 weekend, Dragonz Wylde Ranch, Red Rock, Texas, near Austin

I, Stang will be there, as will host Loke E. Coyote, many bands including The Great Groovy Neptune, Sister Decadence, Princess Wei, Dok Frop, THAT, Col. Sphinx Drummond, Launchings, Doktor Music, Sex Temple!

Directions, tickets, and details are at the teX-Day website

*********

May 12-18 - Euro-X-DAY 2007

Various Noted Clubs, Bars, Coffee Shops - Amsterdam, The Netherlands
At least 70 people are planning to converge for this insane multi-venue LIFE EXPERIENCE! But the venues and hotels may change so we suggest following Euro_SubGenius at yahoogroups.com or emailing the evil Pope Black (pope_black666@yahoo.de) for details.

*********

June 16 - Amino Acids New CD Release Gut Blow-Out
The Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward, Detroit, Michigan, USA

Nothing is more BASIC than the amino acids. They are everywhere and they are anonymous, but if it weren't for them, there would be NO DNA AT ALL.

The new Amino Acids album "Humanity Will Fall Like Pins" could be called "music to ride an experimental test rocket bareback directly into the Sun through a dense meteor shower while beating back attacking robodemons with bare fists by." One might alternatively term it SciFi Surf Punk Masked-Man SuperVillain Metal. Previous albums might have fit the "Superhero Metal" genre but this is definitely more Brainiac and The Joker than Batman or Superman. (But it's still KINDA Superman and a whole lot of Batman.) "The Ennio Morricone of Surf Music!"

Also with EASY ACTION, STYLEX, FUN ENDER, and the most elaborate Acidic staging plans yet. Many will perish!

http://theaminoacids.com
http://myspace.com/theaminoacids

************

X-DAY X IS COMING! DATE CERTAIN!!

JULY 4-8 - Brushwood, Sherman, New York

This is THE SubGenius World Destruction Event!

(The world ends on July 5 at 7 a.m.; party continues for SubGenii aboard Escape Vessels)

Featuring The Amino Acids, Bonobos Convergence, Fake UFO Evidence Hoax Contest, SubGenius Wedding Ow-My-Costume-Ball, Dr. Dark's Drive-In, Dr. Hal, Priestess Pisces, Rev. Carter LeBlanc, Rev. Susie the Floozy, Lonesome Cowboy Dave & Mondo Retardo Band with Princess Wei, Rev. Ivan Stang, everybody on the SubGenius IRC and alt.slack, Scientology & Other Cult Horror Tales Round Table, Scrapple Toss, Pancake Orgy, Liquid 'Frop Tasting, much more.

"It's like GITMO, but in reverse." - Rev. Carter €

PRE-REGISTER and ALL INFO

X-Day postcard 1, Side 2

"THE WORLD WILL END TOMORROW!, eventually."
- Zapanaz

*********

JULY 24-29 - STARWOOD 27, BRUSHWOOD, Sherman, New York, USA

Largest Neo-Pagan and Multi-Weirdo Event in the NE - SubGenius Devival included
A.C.E./STARWOOD WEBSITE

**********
August 17-18 - BURNING STAR
Near Syracuse, New York, USA

INSANE FESTIVAL!! Inspired by Burning Man and Starwood.

These are the same guys that brought a Time Machine to the last
Starwood, and caused all that turbulence downStream in the Temporal Timestream. Rev. Ivan Stang Devival and Video Barrage included

**********

NEW SUBGENIUS PRODUCTS -- DVDs, GAME

Steve Jackson's Illuminati New World Order SubGenius Game - Back in Scatalog

This is a hundred-card non-collectible set from STEVE JACKSON GAMES, written and designed by Steve Jackson and Ivan Stang, featuring over 100 full color art pieces provided by the greatest artists of alt.binaries.slack. It can be played independently, or incorporated within SJG's sprawling ILLUMINATI NEW WORLD ORDER universe of TOTAL PARANOIA.

Here's a preview (from 1997)

**********
NEW SUBGENIUS DVDs

Until now, several classic SubGenius videos were only available in VHS. We have painstakingly remastered several of them onto 2 separate DVDs, and added many new extras such as subtitles so that both collections are as densely Slack-packed as possible. Besides the oldies, there's also a brand new collection of 2 hours of SubGenius animation.

X-DAY "1998" DVD

It's like an Hour of Slack radio show, but you can see it. Footage taken from 6 camera sources just before and after the world ended, slam-cut by Rev. Ivan Stang into a compressed vision of life among the SubGeniuses during their violent and apocalyptic X-Day Drill (held at a clothing-optional campground deep in New York's Amish country). ((Winner, Dallas Video Festival, 1998)) 1 hour 44 minutes. Much nudity, profane language.
EXTRAS: 5X-Day 2002 (22 minute dokumentally), X-Day Commercial; DVD menu pages have minute-long special hypnotic soundtracks,
trance-inducing collage imagery
Not recommended for mature audiences

******

GREAT DOBBS ALMIGHTY DVD

Includes the 1984 NIGHT OF SLACK Devival, The Making of SUBGENIUS/MTV, "Bob's" Lunch Hour, 1990 SubGenius Art Gallery Show, and more

NIGHT OF SLACK -- The legendary 1984 San Francisco revival at which "Bob" first 'died.' Pope David N. Meyer, The Band That Dare Not Speak Its Name, Dr. Hal, Rev. Ivan Stang, Pope Sternodox, Doktors 4 "Bob".

MAKING OF MTV/SUBGENIUS (1991)
You'll "LAK TO DIE" when you see Dobbs in a flying saucer, blowing up the MTV building (a pyramid with an eye on it); the stop-motion death in flames of Barbie and Ken; live recreations of two SubGenius book covers; and Dobbs being worshiped by slinky devil-girls in Hell. During the sometimes surreal shooting, we also shot this 40-minute look behind the scenes.

The SUBGENIUS ART SHOW AT PSYCHEDELIC SOLUTION GALLERY, NYC (1990) -- now fully subtitled so you can tell who the "famous" celebrities are!

"Bob's" LUNCH HOUR starring Dr. Philo Drummond as "Bob" (Started in1977 - finished in 2007)

Dr. Hal interviewed re: "Bob's" Shooting, 1984

UNSEEN INTERVIEWS: LIES (Paul Mavrides), Pope Sternodox and Puzzling Evidence - uncut footage from 1981 World SubCon videos, shot for Showtime "What's Up America"; LIES & Puzzling Evidence - 2-minute "interview" from 1985; Dr. G. Gordon Gordon Goes Fishing with Snavely and Philo - 1991

*******

PSYCHLODELIACA DVD - The Oilslide Collection

The first hour of this program was made by Rev. Ivan Stang specifically for projection at live stage shows, devivals, raves, etc, and presents pure eye-candy and instrumental music with only the occasional Dobbshead or OverMan peeking through. The second hour involves shorter pieces, animation/music videos focused on "Bob," made mostly by Stang since the Dobbsedeliasteses collection was done. Almost all of these can be seen in gritty no-res teeny-vision on YouTube or Google Video, but many excited SubGenii who have seen these projected at live shows have asked for these trippy visuals on DVD.

**********
A REVIEW OF REVELATION X

"This book should be required reading. This is the best book that truly unmasks the conspiracy. It is so good I am almost taking it seriously. With all due respect to the Book of the SubGenius and the latest one. They are not as in-depth as this one on one specific subject. It is the ultimate SubGenius conspiracy life self help book. Kudos to all involved. Now fuck off." -- Rev. Chain Smerker


THE WHOLE SUBGENIUS CATALOG

**********

GREAT GIFT BOOK FOR DINO-LOVERS OF ALL AGES!
Dinosaur Alphabet
By Harry S. Robins (known to the SubGenius Race as Dr. Hal/Dr. Howl)
Frog Ltd./North Atlantic Books

If you're familiar with Hal's comics and SubGenius artwork, I need say little more. DINOSAUR ALPHABET makes the perfect gift for any adult dinosaur fan, because chances are good that this is one book they don't even know about -- in bookstores, it's in the Children's Nonfiction section. This is possibly because each pictured dinosaur is also described in verse!

The dinosaurs (and dinosaur-like creatures) that Hal so vividly describes and depicts in eye-watering color are ones you never heard of -- Euoplocephalus, Fabrosaurus, Giganotosaurus, Huayangosaurus, Quaesitosaurus, Rhoetosaurus, Vulcanodon, Zuniceratops, all of them intricately rendered, and all described in more scientific detail in a long appendix.

See the cover art in these on-web reviews:
Laughing Squid review
Boing-boing review of the book

$18.95 (But only $13.95 at Amazon.com!)

**********

LINKSLACK:

If you like your news delivered to you WEIRD, we heartily recommend subscribing to Rev. Modemac's free Bulldada Newsblog & daily SubGenius Calendar. Every day this SubGenius Mad Doktor collects together the most bizarre and absurd news links from around the Internet. It's as if Charles Fort ran the Drudge Report.

SubGenius wiki sites
Modemac assembled this page of links showing how the Church of
the SubGenius is portrayed on various wiki "encyclopedia" sites out
there. And some of them are indeed pretty OUT THERE.

For that matter, there's more of everything at
http://www.modemac.com

SubGenius Ascendancy

The Are You Subgenius Test

St. Byron Werner's amazing radio show RURAL WAR ROOM (broadcast on the Little Rock indie station KABF Tuesdays at
10 pm) now being podcast!

http://tinyurl.com/2726jw to download these half-hour shows

Secret Sex Cult Origins of the SubGenius
Scientists have discovered that both Discordianism and the Church of the SubGenius are actually descended from a secret Islamic sex cult founded in New Jersey in the 1800s!

**********
VIDEO LINKS
Discordianism (and SubGenius) in court
Reverend Magdalen is not the first SubGenius forced to defend her
religion in court. Discordianism has also appeared in a court case --
along with an explanation of the SubGenius Short Duration Marriage.


Stang Videos (anything WITH Stang) on Video Google

SUB-AD page with Stang vid list

City Lights San Francisco SubGenius Book Signing
In this video excerpt you only see Dr. Hal, but you hear heckling by
Dr. Philo Drummond, Puzzling Evidence, Pissbaptist John Shirley, and
(towards the end) St. Palmer Vreedeez of The LIES Foundation.

(Look at her list of videos and you'll see that Bug Girl has put many Dr. Hal performances on You Tube!)

The Man from SLAK

George Clinton Sub Video

Illuminati Symbols EVERYWHERE!

Save-A-Copy

Revised "BOB" Sayings

**********
CU CHI TUNNELS
The three feature documentaries that I, Stang wrote and edited for director Mickey Grant in the previous century have been put on Google Video by Mickey. These include THE CU CHI TUNNELS, the only American film I know of that depicts the Vietnam War AS RECOUNTED BY THE VIET CONG. Some scenes are pretty excruciating. Also, this film features more one-armed people than most documentaries do.

**********

NEW SUBGENIUS MINISTERS:
When you get the ordainment package, remember to fill out and mail back the "Confirmation Postcard" or else you won't get mailings on such occasions as they occur. We've been updating our Sacred Mailing List/Book of Life, or trying to, and it seems that we've sold a lot of Memberships to people who aren't finishing the process by sending in that little postcard.

**********
UPDATE ON REV. MAGDALEN'S CHILD CUSTODY CASE

YOUR DONATIONS DID THE TRICK! She needed $2000 and got $5,000! That helps a lot with the Bevilacquas' huge legal debt. She can still use all the help she can get, though! At one point, some unnamed donator managed to place the online donations counter at exactly $3333.33 . . . and it stayed lodged in that position for several days!
Donations button

Details of the case

The text of Judge Adams' decision in the case of Reverend Magdalen, is now available online. You can download it from the wiki page for Magdalen, along with all of the other links; the link is available at the top and bottom of the page.

An appellate court hearing is scheduled for May and we have high hopes that once a panel of real judges hears the case, real justice will be done.

Praise be to all who have helped in the fight for Slack for so long!


ALL SUBGENIUS CONTACTS, WEBSITES:
http://subgenius.com/contact.htm

2 New Thangs: SubG INWO Game & Long Form teX-Day Video

The teX-Day video posted earlier is the short 10-minute promo. This is the long-form one.

Both versions are on the SubGenius Events Page

TeX-Day 2007 is coming May 5, so we've thrash-edited the videotapes and stills from teX-Day 2005 into an actual finished "fropumentary." (I, Stang didn't edit any 2006 teX-Day footage because I wasn't there to document it -- had to work on the Bobliographon book deadline instead.)

TeX-Day Documentary (32 minutes)
This is the full-length (32 minutes) documentary from which the 10 minute promo was whittled down. It features many more songs and sermon clips than the short promo, including Rev. Chupacabra's timeless testimonial, and slo-mo replay of some of the Launchings.

This year's teX-Day III:
May 5-6 weekend
Dragonz Wylde Ranch, Red Rock, Texas, near Austin

Directions, tickets, and details are at the teX-Day website

I, Stang will be there, as will host Loke E. Coyote, many bands, Sister Decadence, Princess Wei, Dok Frop, Launchings, Doktor Music, Sex Temple, maybe even THAT! More to be announced!

There is yet a longer, much more perverse version -- the full uncensored 40-minute director's cut, which is only on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack because it has nipples and (CENSORED) that Google Video would not want on their pages. The 10-minute short is also on a.b.m.s. All versions posted to that binaries group are high-quality DivX avi files, suitable for your DVD player (when burned to a data CDR) vastly better looking and sounding than the very low-res, choppy format that YouTube and Google Videos must needs resort to.

I should make a special version of JUST the 8 minutes of censored stuff, for alt.binaries.slack perhaps, if I can make it small enough and yet not too degraded. By that I mean video degradation. The behavior shown could not be any more degraded.

******
Steve Jackson's Illuminati New World Order SubGenius Game - Back in our Scatalog

This is a hundred-card non-collectible set from STEVE JACKSON GAMES,
written and designed by Steve Jackson and Ivan Stang, featuring over
100 full color art pieces provided by the greatest artists of
alt.binaries.slack. It can be played independently, or incorporated
within SJG's sprawling ILLUMINATI NEW WORLD ORDER universe of TOTAL
PARANOIA.

The set of 100 cards is usable by itself, and includes rules for a 4-
player common-deck game, using four Church of the SubGenius cards
(with different art, of course). Each represents a different faction
of the Church, fighting for control, Slack, and that unending flow of
dollars from the mindless Pinks. You can also drop other INWO cards
into a SubGenius game, or vice versa!

Here's a preview (from 1997)

Here's the Order Form

Here's 32 minutes of teX-Day 2005:

teX-DAY is STILL COMING, May 5 - NEW VIDEO online

May 5-6 weekend - teX-DAY III

Dragonz Wylde Ranch, near Austin, Texas, USA

Directions, tickets, and details are HERE at the teX-Day website.

I'll be there, as will host Loke E. Coyote, many bands, Sister Decadence, Princess Wei, Dok Frop, Launchings, Doktor Music, Sex Temple, maybe even THAT! More to be announced!

I have spent the last three days trying to cut the video of teX-Day 2005 into a decent promo -- and I SUCCEEDED! There is also a 40-minute uncensored version that I'll be posting in high res DivX to alt.binaries.multimedia.slack, and a 30-minute somewhat censored version that I'll post on Google Video a.s.a.p.

In the meantime, here's my DECENT PROMO! Well, as decent as YouTube will let it be, anyway.

If the teX-Day movie below won't play for you, try this link to it on YouTube.

teX-Day is Coming! - May 5 Weekend, Red Rock, Texas

This will be the third teX-Day! Here's a quickie promo video using pics from the first teX-Day:



More details at the NEW DEVIVALS PAGE on SubSITE
or
teX-Day Website

IMPORTANT: Rev. Magdalen Child Custody Case -- Donations Needed!

I only send out bulk news releases like this when I feel it's IMPORTANT news for SubGenii. I don't want you to come to regard it as spam. So I'll go straight to the point, which may seem spamlike at first. Jesus and Magdalen Bevilacqua still need money -- $2,000 to be exact -- and you can contribute funds to their SubGenius child custody case now via this PayPal link:

Paypal donations can still be sent to magdalen@subgenius.com:
http://tinyurl.com/jbpe8

This nifty button takes you to the Pledgie.com page for the Rev. Magdalen Legal Fund, where you can use a credit card OR PayPal to donate. The button shows what's been donated so far via Pledgie.com.



Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857

UPDATE, March 12 -- Mike Gil has just written the best article about this case yet! Read it here.

If this is your first News email from the Church of the SubGenius, you might not be familiar with the tragic situation of Rev. Magdalen "Rachel" and Rev. Jesus "Steve" Bevilacqua, whose child was taken from them by a New York state family judge -- BECAUSE THEY ARE SUBGENIUSES.

I know this sounds ridiculous, and insane, like a made-up SubGenius prank, but if you suspect it might be one (HOW I WISH IT WERE!), here are links to newspaper and encyclopedia articles about it:

WIKIPEDIA News article about it
http://tinyurl.com/lljse

This feisty weekly from the Rochester area, The Beast, has the most scathing of many good articles about the case:
http://www.buffalobeast.com/96/subgenius.custody.htm

An excellent, somewhat more recent article is in the Cleveland Free Times:
http://www.freetimes.com/story/262

Modemac's wikipedia page has the most detailed history of the case, with much more recent details, as well as the most complete collection of links:
http://www.modemac.com/wiki/Reverend_Magdalen

You can find the various judges' actual comments there… to me, those are the most horrifying documents in the whole story. Obviously, what made the Salem Witch Hunts possible is still alive in New England.

To make a long story short, recently, after a very prolonged and difficult struggle, Rev. Magdalen won back custody of her child… only to have it again denied BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN SEE HIM by an "emergency stay order." This means that now the case must go to a higher court -- which is good, because it will be FIVE judges who aren't just yokels from that same small town, who managed to get themselves elected as family court judges. There is a good chance that, when the case is seen by educated people, Magdalen will regain full custody of her son.

One of the nightmarish aspects of this, however, is that, because the biological father supposedly has "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome," he has never had to work and is a trailer-court welfare case. This means that the state pays for his lawyers! But because the Bevilacquas each work the equivalent of two jobs, they have to PAY for their lawyers.

And they have to pay a new, DIFFERENT lawyer to handle the higher appellate court case.

From Rev. Magdalen:

"Basically, although I did win the case, it's now going to appeal. Orleans County has, of course, offered to pay all the expenses for my ex's appeals case, while I still have to pay for my appellate lawyers, which it turns out are different from regular lawyers and require a new $10,000 retainer to hire. I'll still be represented by the same firm, Lipsitz, Green, Scime, Cambria, but a different individual will be handling the case.

"We go before the Fourth Circuit Appellate Division on June 2, and then they will make their decision within 30 days of that. I am cross-appealing to ask that the parts of the decision forbidding me to make or keep SubGenius art inside my home, travel with my husband for his job, and homeschool my son, be struck down. Until then, my son has to stay with my ex, though I am supposed to get "extended visitation." So far, I have not yet been able to actually access that extended visitation, as my ex says it will take a court order in writing to make him comply, and all we have is a verbal order. I hope that will be straightened out soon.

"In the meantime, I'm getting some desperately-needed R&R with my husband, as my mother-in-law generously gave me a ticket to come see him in England, where he's been sent for work. I'll be here in the UK for the next three weeks, then back to the daily grind in New York, waiting in place for the decision to come through and trying to spend as much time as I can with my son.

"There was an incident that occurred during that brief day when I had won the case, but the appeal had not yet gone through, that is very hard for me to write about. The principal of my son's school, Mr. P_____, actually disobeyed my written and verbal instructions to keep my son at school so I could pick him up and have at least one night with him before the appeal was filed. Instead, Mr. P____, knowing I was literally on the way to get my son from his school, deliberately released my son to my ex, so when I got there he was gone. My ex took my son and disappeared with him that whole night, not returning my son until the appeal went through. I called my ex and begged him over cell phone to tell me at least where my son was, if he was still in the state or the country, or what, and he just laughed and said that I would never find them.

"It was the most horrible night of my life, and it was made so much worse by knowing that this did not have to happen, but Mr. P_____, who had been a witness in the case and was fully aware of the vicious hostility involved, chose to pick one parent over the other, directly in contradiction to the written order that I had sent him a copy of. I don't know what to make of it. I contacted the superintendent of Lyndonville Central Schools, and she refused to take any disciplinary action against Mr. P_____. My lawyer, Mr. Mattingly, is preparing a case for bringing charges against Mr. P_____, so I will update you all again when I know more about that. I know a lot of you are going through your own custody issues, so I thought you might like to know that this kind of flagrant abuse can happen—your children might not be as safe at school as you think they are.

"Anyway, that's about it for me, I hope all is well with all of you! My finances are still in extremely dire straits—I am $2,000 short of the retainer fee I need to proceed with my appellate lawyer, even after my father lent me his entire life savings as collateral on a loan, so if anyone feels motivated and has some extra cash, it would be so very much appreciated. Thank you all so much for everything, all your concern and support really has made the difference. I would have given up long ago and just spiraled into a fog of despair without all of you, so thank you, thank you, I can never thank you enough."

++++

Magdalen added this in a personal letter to me:

"The appellate lawyer says he’s working on the case already as a courtesy, but he wants his retainer ASAP. I just don’t have it, and I can’t get it. My parents already shot their entire savings and maxed out their credit, and Steve and I did too, and now there’s nothing left for it but to beg the Internets and see if anyone would be willing to help out again, though I’m sure they’re sick of me whining.

"So far, this whole thing has cost us $73,000, and this new $10,000 charge on top of that is just the retainer, I’m sure the appellate lawyer will spend that all in no time and send me more bills as we get closer to June 2. So anyway, I was wondering if you could put out another email plea for money.

"…So hopefully, the appeals court will straighten everything out, give me back my boy, and set me free to go roam the earth with my husband and make whatever art I choose, as is my right as an American! But then, after following the Anna Nicole saga and seeing the way they treated her, I still don’t have a lot of confidence in the American legal system. I wish some of the candidates would make reforming it their hot-button issue!"

Sincerely,

Rachel Bevilacqua

Finally, check out this mp3 audio clip from a national so-called "Christian" radio talk show: host Bob Larsen slandering people he knows NOTHING about:
http://www.subgenius.com/MP3s/05-19-06-Bob_Larson_on_BevilacquaCase.mp3
or http://tinyurl.com/yc8ayw

Paypal donations can still be sent to magdalen@subgenius.com.
http://tinyurl.com/jbpe8

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857


THE WHY A GOAT? SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeatedly asked by the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser is:
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=32908

I promise the next report, which will come soon, will have lots of FUN news and reviews, and links to vast endless hours of SubGenius media Slack.

SubGenius sacred book REVELATION X reprinted!

The Book of the SubGenius and The SubGenius Psychlopaedia of Slack - The Bobliographon are once again joined on bookstore shelves by the second of the SubGenius trilogy of "Bobles," REVELATION X - THE BOBAPOCRYPHON!

ORDER IT NOW FROM AMAZON.COM FOR ONLY $12.86 (a $6.06 ("b0b") savings!

Of our three main holy books, this one is my favorite. Paul Mavrides and I strove against titanic forces and insane odds to make sure it did justice to the richness of “Bob’s” teachings and to the slavishness of his minions, the dozens of artists and writers who were sacrificed to it. Originally published by Simon & Schuster, an actual conspiracy (albeit a small one) kept it from being properly promoted, and it has been out of print since 1998... UNTIL NOW!!

The visionaries at Thunder’s Mouth Press (Avalon) have now brought out this new edition. Although it is nearly identical to the first edition, 20 pages have been updated, and the printing quality is actually improved. It’s the same physical size as The Book of the SubGenius – 8.5” x 11” – but is even more densely packed over more pages. Contributors include not only SubGenius luminaries such as Dr. Hal Robins, PissBaptist John Shirley, Dr. Philo Drummond, Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, St. Paul Mavrides, etc., but also such world-esteemed graphic artists as Gilbert Shelton, Robert Williams, Mark Bode, and many more.

The reason we are directing buyers to Amazon.com (or your local bookstore) instead of the SubGenius catalog is because we didn’t expect it to be out before Xmas… and we’re out of the office for the holidays. Just before we left the Cleveland Heights corporate headquarters (“The Slackermansion”), a box of the books unexpectedly arrived from the publishers! As soon as we are back in the factory facility and able to fill orders, it will be added to the Bulldada Time Control online catalog. We don’t particularly advertise this fact, but all SubGenius books sold through that catalog are autographed by at least one of the authors – usually me.

For the holidays, we are operating out of the Stang Family Historical Church Compound (a renovated old stone fortress) just outside Stangville in Stang County, Texas. The online SubGenius History course with Maybe Logic Academy – http://maybelogic.org -- is in a week-long holiday break, but will resume January 2, when we will post links to audio and video classis from the 1990-1994 period (already uploaded before we left our high tech Cleveland facility).

The 50 students who signed up for that course are getting way more than they bargained for. Along with thousands of scans of old Stark Fists, letters, photos, newsletters, art and other documents, they’ve also gotten ALL of the old Church music and media barrage albums, plus a number of extremely rare videos and recordings that have never been released anywhere else. And, they’re getting it all EXPLAINED to them by yours truly. Meanwhile, they are also being very slightly guided through the creation of their own custom-made mind control cults. In fact, I’m starting to have misgivings about having helped sponsor so much of our own FUTURE COMPETITION!

Best of all, once this first 8 week course has been finished, we will be able to offer it again every year, and each time I’ll be able to layer in a little more detail. For that matter, since all the course material will stay in place throughout the whole 8 weeks, a person could join at any time between now and January 20, and still be able to read and download all of the course materials – although it might take you a week just for the downloading, since it already fills almost 3 DVDs. (All for only $95!)

Many have asked what became of the SubGenius child custody case involving the Bevilacquas. THE NEW JUDGE STILL HASN’T MADE A DECISION. If what was intended was mental torture of the parents and child, that has been accomplished. The decision was supposed to happen in September, but lawyerly evil has been evoked to keep prolonging the agony.

We hope the new year will bring good news for Magdalen and Jesus. Princess Wei and myself are going for double the Slack in the meantime, hopefully storing some extra up for the Bevilacquas for when they are finally able to access any Slack at all.

My daughter Sivet is engaged to be married in June; her fiancé passed The Baseball Bat Test when I met him for the first time this week. He hardly even felt the blow! Also in June, I will be performing the wedding ceremony of Foundation loyee, Rev. Nickie Deathchick and her fiancé Bob Wild. And Dr. Philo Drummond and his new child bride, Rev. Kaosmic Bobcat, are raising their own newborn Uberbaby. Just the SubGenius Foundation staff ALONE is making sure the SubGenius beautant population continues to grow.

And, now that we again have THREE of our SubGenius Sex Manuals in stores worldwide, we anticipate a “Mutant Baby Boom” that will help make the promise of X-Day come true, whether “Bob” and the Xists themselves ever get their act together or not.

WON’T YOU JOIN US?

Slackermansion Halloweie'en Photos

We had high Hallowed-Weenie traffic at The Slackermansion, and ran out of candy early, despite having bought twice as much as last year -- an excuse for us to go out trick-or-treating, ourselves. The Giant Head Dobbs doled out the goods, Princess Wei sweet-talked the kids into posing with "Bob" for photos, and iDRMRSR impressed the moms and dads by claiming to be a U.N. observer. Pics are up:

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics13/stang/Halloween06/index.html

This collection includes some new SubG Halloween art (by newcomers) that was emailed in over the weekend before Halloween, also pics from ACE party with Wei as the female Amina Acid, and Pater Nostril as Tor Johnson (original mask by St. Joe Riley).

Plus, a rare shot of a Cyclops Skull Root found growing at the local graveyard.

The photos (and many more) are all posted to alt.binaries.slack as well.

Alt.binaries.MULTIMEDIA.slack has yet another dozen MP3s of whole hour-plus shows by Rev. Susie the Floozy. We are uploading "Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse Shows at the rate of 11 or 12 per day. Also uploading over a 3-day period is Rev. Circlemaker's bizarre EuroX-Day 2002 documentary (in high quality mpeg-2).

Now that the weddings and Holy Days are over for a little while, this Scribe will be tearing into the Maybe Logic Academy Online Course in the Secret History of the SubGenius Church and How to Run Your Own Mind Control Cult (Nov. 20 -- Jan. something) -- see http://www.maybelogic.org/stangcrs.htm
for the complete curriculum.

This course will essentially be a whole new illustrated SubGenius book in PDF plus a lot of personal forum and chat activity, and umpteen hours of downloadables -- MP3s and videos of primal moments in real-life Church history (ADULTS ONLY!).

So I must get cracking! Cracking, scanning, sorting and, hopefully, remembering.

New SubGenius Book is Available; Multimedia Online Course in SubGenius runs November - January

Two big hearty chunks of news: the new SubGenius book is in stores and our catalog, and Maybe Logic University is offering a media-soaked online course in SubGenius History and How to Run Your Own Cult. Also, our book Revelation X is being reprinted, and yours truly has a MySpace page now.

ONLINE LESSONS IN SUBGENIUSDOM via Maybe Logic Academy

In some ways this course is yet another book, but not with just new text and photos. It also features hours of downloadable audio and video, exclusive to this course. And it has YOUR PARTICIPATION -- if you so choose -- since it also involves chat-room sessions, online forums, etc. By the end of the course, not only will you possess an exclusive stash of inside-SubGenius goodies, but you'll have developed YOUR OWN ORIGINAL CULT RELIGION.

We had already been planning a big "History of the SubGenius" book/DVD project, when Maybe Logic University approached us about doing this class online. This is the same group behind the excellent RAW film, Maybe Logic. They have already run successful courses under instructors like Robert Anton Wilson, Douglas Rushkoff, Antero Alli, R.U. Sirius, Erik Davis, David Jay Brown, Luke Rhinehart, Starhawk and others.

The inexpensive course will run 8 weeks, from November 20 to January 21 (with a holiday break). There is a good chance that this is a one-time opportunity that won't be repeated. There will be massive amounts of rare SubGenius text, comics, devival audio, radio clips, backstage historical material, photos and graphics that WON'T be on SubSITE or our binaries newsgroups.

This is a one-of-a-kind, hands-on, participatory MUST for the hard-core SubGenius, or the investigator who has always wondered just what's REALLY been going on in this Church.

The detailed course overview can be seen here:
http://www.maybelogic.org/stangcrs.htm

To enroll (or buy the Maybe Logic DVD): http://www.maybelogic.org/enroll.htm



THE SUBGENIUS PSYCHLOPAEDIA OF SLACK -- THE BOBLIOGRAPHON


NYES! It's now available! A THIRD SUBGENIUS TESTAMENT! The NEW encyclopedia of abnormality -- 240 pages of cornea-melting illustrations and newly-released SubGenius writings that will SHOCK those who thought that surely all of everything must be contained within the previous books. This book goes where THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and REVELATION X could not. Contains all-new revelations re: the Mystery of X-Day; Secrets of Connie Dobbs; Avoiding Subicide; Slack Magic; SubGenius Kooks; "Bob's" Dark Secrets; a Tour of Dobbstown; The Yacatizma vs. Yacatisma; The Earth-Mars Switch and infinitely more!

THE BOBLIOGRAPHON has a much different look from the first two holy Bobles, and an even broader range of contributors, because it's our first book since "Bob" took over the Internet in 1995. Hence the illustrations tend to be richly detailed 3D computer graphics by the likes of LeMur, IMBJR and Heart Ignition. Writers include Rev. Ivan Stang, Dr. Philo Drummond, Nenslo, Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite, Dr. G.G. Gordon, Dr. Hal, Rev. Susie the Floozy, and 45 other Doktors and NunSnakes. From mighty Thunder’s Mouth Press/Avalon. Size: 7" x 9" Weight: 13 oz.

You can buy it in most bookstores, online via Amazon.com, Powells (http://www.powells.com/biblio/62-1560259396-0) and others, or you can buy it AUTOGRAPHED directly from Bulldada Time Control Labs and yours truly:
http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/books.htm



REVELATION X reprint out in January

Thunder's Mouth Press has enjoyed such robust pre-sales for THE BOBLIOGRAPHON that they are reprinting our Second Testament, REVELATION X, and are rushing to have it out before the end of this year. (I have already finished revising the address and catalog info, which was a HEROIC CHORE, let me tell you!) Many SubGenii, myself included, consider this the best of our first four books, and that may explain why it was taken out of print after truncated Conspiracy distribution in 1994. The book was 2 years in the making, and it shows. Interestingly, the revised new edition is ALREADY for sale, from that unique avant-garde vendor of only the most bizarre and rare items -- Wal-Mart!
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5167991



WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

Because it was the only way to communicate with my nieces and nephews, I took the MySpace plunge. YIKES! It's insidious! I had to rant about it -- but on alt.slack, not on MySpace: http://tinyurl.com/y53aev

I have to admit I have enjoyed the Helle out of many of my fellow SubGeniuses' pimp-jobs on their own MySpace pages, which you can access via mine. Other strange bands of weirdoes such as Negativland, The Amino Acids, Little Fyodor, DEVO etc. also bleed over into it.
Rev. Ivan Stang MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/ivanstang

Note: there is also a non-official "Church of the SubGenius" MySpace site, evidently set up by someone who doesn't know how to spell "SubGenius"… or even "Bob"!



HALLOWEEN
… the one holiday during which the SubGeniuses DON'T wear their disguises! We have some pages of graphics and photos showing the alt.binaries.slack and SubGenius Foundation HQ Halloweens of the past. Make sure you check out ALL the links. SubG MaskMaster St. Joe Riley's costume shop is one of them.

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics11/HALLOWEEN/index.html



NEWS OF REV. MAGDALEN AND HER CHILD

We don't have any good news yet. The new judge is supposed to hand down a decision any week now. Meanwhile the child is still kept from his mom.

NEWS OF POPE ROBERT ANTON WILSON

He got lots of donations, and the financial crisis is postponed for a couple of months. His health unfortunately is not especially improved.

REMEMBER - NO "BOB," NO SLACK. KNOW "BOB," KNOW SLACK.
Let There Then Be Slack

Time to Repay RAWilson for All the Slack

Pope Bob (Robert Anton Wilson) loaned us SubGeniuses a LOT!

Most of what he loaned us were ideas. We took those ideas and ran with them. We did all KINDS of things using his ideas. We started every manner of experiment, inspired by his experiments. Many of those experiments PAID OFF.

I have said many times to interviewers that were it not for Robert Anton Wilson (and the late great Robert Shea, who co-wrote Illuminatus), there would be no Church of the SubGenius.

Although Pope Bob was tough enough to beat childhood polio in his youth, now that he is old, it has returned to harass him. He busted his ass his whole life, writing, lecturing, and selling books -- and if you think those jobs are EASY, try it yourself. He shared part of his mighty brain with the world, supported his family, and even survived the loss of a child and his wife without GIVING UP. But nothing lasts forever, and now it's down to the wire.

Princess Wei, Pater Nostril and I got to hang out with Pope Bob a couple of times in recent years, at Winterstar. The polio had already put him in a wheelchair, and it must have been hurting all the time, but Bob was as cheerful and snappy as I'd seen him in the '80s and the '90s, and he delivered one of the most brilliant talks I've ever seen at an A.C.E. event. He was still writing books (and plugging SubGenius!) and doing everything he could physically and financially to pull his own weight.

I "saw" him more recently in the excellent film, Maybe Logic. It was agonizing to watch Pope Bob demonstrating that he can still walk, with effort, because the polio had obviously gotten much worse. But he was STILL TRYING TO WALK and STILL WORKING!

Do you imagine that writers like Wilson make a lot of money? Well, if he was the kind of writer whose books are in airports with embossed covers showing blurbs like "ANOTHER BEST SELLING CORPORATE THRILLER," then you might be right.

However, Robert Anton Wilson didn't write the kind of books that Hollywood likes to make movies of. He wrote the kinds of books that weird individuals make their very LIVES from.

Earlier this year -- when finally he could no longer sit at a machine and type all day -- rather than asking for charity, he started SELLING OFF HIS OLD STUFF. Autographing and selling all the spares of his books. Now even those are gone, and there's not much he can do but hope that people remember what they owe him.

I REMEMBER!

Any donations can be made to Bob directly to the Paypal account olgaceline@gmail.com.
You can also send a check payable to Robert Anton Wilson to
Dennis Berry c/o Futique Trust
P.O. Box 3561
Santa Cruz, CA 95063.

I am emptying the SubGenius paypal account into his paypal account, and we are mailing monthly $50 checks as suggested.

Here is another testimonial and some more info, from Douglas Rushkoff:

http://tinyurl.com/lb3mm

Here's a good wiki team write-up on RAW:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Anton_Wilson

RAW's main website:
http://www.rawilson.com/main.shtml

Other top RAW info site: http://www.maybelogic.com/

SubGeniuses, you helped out Rev. Magdalen when the Conspiracy took her child away. (Incidentally, the child is still away (!) and she still has huge legal bills.) You helped her out even though many of you never met her or her child. You took our word for it that the situation was dire and that the call for help was justified. Well, you may not have ever met Robert Anton Wilson… you MIGHT not even have read any of his books… but if you're a SubGenius, he has sure as hell helped you out. He has given you Slack, BIG TIME.

Now, you can give him Slack at a time when he REALLY NEEDS IT. He will almost certainly never need your help this way again. The kind of Slack he most immediately needs is the peace of mind of knowing he can fucking DIE IN PEACE, at home, in bed, and not in the middle of a HOUSEHOLD MOVE watching the loss of his home and last possessions.

If you love "Bob," then you will send money to Bob. For without Bob, we would never even have heard of "Bob."

PRAISE BOB!

Report on DEVOtional 2006 on SubSITE

Princess Wei and I barely survived the DEVOtional of 2006. But we are stronger for it, and our bedroom is much cleaner.

PICTORIAL REPORT

Other news:

I'm teaching an online course in The History of The Church of the SubGenius in November and December. Yes, I'm PERFESSOR Stang now.
SUBGENIUS COURSE AT MAYBE LOGIC ACADEMY

MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!...

… because their child needs THEM!

You may have read about the child custody case of Rachel Bevilacqua, aka Rev. Magdalen. Her 10-year-old son was taken away from her last February because a New York family court judge thought that her involvement with The Church of the SubGenius disqualified her for motherhood. The horrible news is, even though the original judge is off the case, THE CASE IS DRAGGING ON and she has been allowed very little contact with her son. The state is paying for the father's lawyers, because the father is a welfare case who never has a job, and that side is deliberately prolonging the court sessions BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THE BEVILACQUAS, WHO BETWEEN THEM ARE WORKING FOUR JOBS, DO HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR LAWYERS.

Rachel has very good lawyers now, but they're very expensive, and they want another $10,000 from her by LAST WEEK. Meanwhile, her husband Steve, aka Rev. Jesus, has been tranfered by His employers to ENGLAND -- which would be lots of fun IF HE COULD HAVE HIS FAMILY WITH HIM. But Rachel cannot leave New York until she regains at least partial custody of her child.

Friends, normally when I send out these letters it's because I'm selling something -- some new holy SubGenius product. Well, our new book will be out in October, and I will surely sell the Hell out of that when the time comes. But right now I'm not selling anything. I'm BEGGING for your money, for SOMEBODY ELSE -- for Rachel's legal fees, so she can hurry up and get young "ConBo" back before he has to spend YET ANOTHER 6 MONTHS IN THAT WRETCHED TRAILER COURT.

If you read any of the stories that have now been written about this case -- and especially if you read the publicly available transcript of the original abusive judge's outbursts -- you'll see that this is not just another cute SubGenius money-making gimmick, but a serious fight against a REAL THREAT. Magdalen is a degreed college graduate with a long and responsible job history, a good income, no jail record, etc. If her child can be taken away by a small local court just because she's a SubGenius, THINK WHAT ELSE THEY COULD DO… MAYBE TO YOU.

Modemac's wikipedia page has the most concise history of the case and the most complete collection of links:
http://www.modemac.com/wiki/Reverend_Magdalen

This feisty weekly newspaper from the Rochester area has the most scathing of many good articles about the case:

The Beast:
http://www.buffalobeast.com/96/subgenius.custody.htm

Another excellent, more recent article is in the Cleveland Free Times:
http://www.freetimes.com/story/262

Paypal donations can still be sent to magdalen@subgenius.com.
http://tinyurl.com/jbpe8

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857


THE WHY A GOAT? SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeated by the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser is:
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=32908

Needless to say, this has been unspeakably hard on Magdalen and Jesus. The SubGeniuses at large, however, sure had a lot of fun at Judge Punch's expense at our last X-Day drill. There are 4 Hours of Slack online now that feature recordings from 9X-Day, but this week's show, #1058, a Magdalen Case Fund-Raising, Punch-Bashing special with Dr. Hal and other great ranters (also featuring Mag's shordurpersav band, The Billy Nayer Show).
Hour of Slack 1058:
http://subgenius.sensoryresearch.net/hos/Hour_of_Slack_1058.mp3

While we're at it, this is a good place to mention THE HOUR OF SLACK HOME SERVICE -- a 6-month subscription to weekly Hour of Slack CDs delivered to your home! Only FIVE BUCKS PER SHOW. Sure you can download it, or you can record it off the air if you're in one of the 17 cities where it's carried (see website) -- but these are audio CDs made direct from the masters, with 25 to 60 separate tracks so you can easily isolate your favorite parts. You can specify X-Rated or Air-Safe copies. I know, I said I wasn't selling anything. But, hey -- What Would "Bob" Do?

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/audio-hos.htm

*******

9X-Day 'Comic' - a SubGenius Photonovella

I just finished my first SubGenius 'found' photonovella, utilizing the photos from 9X-Day Drill shot by several SubGenii, arranged in panels like a comic book. It's 23 pages long, has captions, 'sound effects' and word balloons like a comic, and can be viewed on SubSITE at the following links (and is also downloaded there as a small PDF file). A very large, high-res, printable PDF version is on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack, and the 23 separate numbered JPEGs are on alt.binaries.slack.

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-Day_Comic-sm/image-html/9X-Day_Comic_01.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/jsqt7
for the 9X-Day Photo Comic

The photonovella replaces our traditional annual X-Day Drill photo gallery. You'll see why. It's so much more DRAMATIC this way! It's part of the new

9X-DAY REPORTS on SubSITE at:
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-DayText/9X-DayReports.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/l6j6p

Includes the 2006 Bobbie Awards
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/9XDay/9X-DayText/X0007_2006_BOBBIE_AWARDS.t.html
aka
http://tinyurl.com/etuu6

BIG THANKSLACK to the photographers and stars of the 9X-Day photonovella! Photo credits are on the last page.

Hours of Slack #s 1055 through 1059 will be edited 9X-Day audio entirely: live radio, preaching, bands, Wotaning, and related Puzzling Evidence. The first two are available in various formats from multiple sources via http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

The sub-web-bots also assembled some SubSITE pages about the large neopagan festival, Starwood 26, using Rev. Alex Thompson's text report and Princess Wei's photos:
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/STARWOOD26/Starwood_26_Alex_Report.html
aka
http://tinyurl.com/hc9of

Ironically, there is much nudity in the 9X-Day pictorials, but none in the Starwood ones.

Announcement: Birth of the OverBaby!

BORN to Dr. Philo U. Drummond, Primary Subgenius Overman
Second Authorized MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Church of the SubGenius /Drummondian, and the beautiful Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty:

THE OVERBABY
Lily KatBuck Drummond

ACTUAL BIRTHDATE:
7-22-06
TIME: 6:06 A.M.

REPEAT: 6:06 A/M.

Two strange events (besides "Bob's" signature on the time of her birth) mark this far-from-emaculate birth.

Prior to the birth, Dr. Drummond and the extremely pregnant Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty attended Annie Sprinkle's birthday party. Kaosmic-Kitty was scheduled to sing a song on the stage and so she did -- but in the middle of the cute little song, HER WATER BROKE! Yes, Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty stood there on the stage at Annie Sprinkle's bithday party, with water streaming down her legs, calling for a doctor. Instead she got a DOKTOR, her husband Dr. Philo Drummond -- in full-on OVERMAN TRANSFIGURATION MODE! The OverMan rushed to her side, REACHED UP HER DRESS, and extracted… A LITTLE STUFFED KITTY-CAT PLUSH-TOY! To the amazement of the crowd. SEE THE PHOTO HERE.

AFTER the birth, yesterday in fact, Dr. Drummond was taking his new child and fairly new wife to the pediatrician and was engaged in putting coins into a parking meter on the street outside the doctor's office when he was suddenly and completely randomly ATTACKED by a CRAZY DRUNK. One minute this lurching drunk is acting like he's about to ask for money and the next second the drunk SUDDENLY HITS PHILO IN THE JAW!

All the fight-or-fight reflex that one might expect from a new-father OverMan whose little family is being threatened ROARED INTO ACTION. "WHAT THE FUCK?" asks Philo, recovering, and as the drunk sees the bright firey red light emiting from Philo's eyes, he mutters something about being sorry and starts to flee. PHILO PURSUES THE INSANE DRUNK… in fact Philo catches up with him and starts thrashing the bastard. (Philo Drummond is in very good physical condition from incessant bike-riding in hilly countryside.) Philo, indeed, sees a tree that has various support-boards nailed to it, WRENCHES LOOSE ONE OF THESE BOARDS, and now threatens the insane, formerly-aggressive drunk with a NAIL-STUDDED BOARD, like a troll wielding a club. Philo then makes a snap decision to ROB the drunk and demands he empty his pockets. The drunk displays a dollar or so -- Philo SLAPS the money onto the ground and says "I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING MONEY!" and about then, the cops pull up.

Luckily the cops instantly detect the drunken condition of the fucked-up guy and beg Philo to press charges. The drunk is begging him not to so Philo DOES PRESS CHARGES.

The cops are happy, Philo goes to his pediatrician meeting with his wife and baby and the drunk is hauled off to jail.

Moral: DON''T FUCK WITH THE PHILO.

9X-Day special Hours of Slack now online

We have started culling down the best of the 9X-Day recordings. You can go straight to the 1-hour shows here:

Hour of Slack 1055

Hour of Slack 1056

8X-Day video, 9X-Day audio posted for download

Famed Usenet newsgroup alt.binaries.multimedia.slack now sports many many hours of raw, uncut audio (in MP3) from 9X-Day -- all the preaching and ranting, most of the music, all the "live Hour of Slack" and Ask Dr. Hal. Also there for the download is the 1 hour 23 minute 8X-Day edited video. It's not SUPER-edited -- I cut it two days before 9X-Day, SUPER-fast.

I will be further editing the 9X-Day audio into smaller chunks and weaving it
through the next 5 or 6 Hours of Slack, also probably will post the ensmallenized MP3 chunks
to a.b.s.

There are zillions of photos on a.b.s., and also:

PHOTOS:
RAVNA:
http://www.echt-wichtig.de/xday9/
Assco:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?
fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=141749788&indicate=1
and
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?
fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=142431683&indicate=1
ANKARA:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ankaraenator/Xday9

FoxyG
http://www.flickr.com/photos/43658528@N00/

I didn't do this 10 minute film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DQXPz4fhoM

It's by Rev. Mykeru
http://www.mykeru.com

I am working on a PHOTONOVELLA of 9X-Day photos for SubSITE

Gotta do Starwood first though! BACK TO BRUSHWOOD!

First Wave of 9X-Day Photos

RAVNA:
http://www.echt-wichtig.de/xday9/
ANKARA:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ankaraenator/Xday9
ASSCO:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=141749788&indicate=1
and
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61320080&blogID=142431683&indicate=1

Wei's and Sister Decadence's are on alt.binaries.slack; all will go onto SubSITE when the next wave of photos comes through.

9X-Day - So Mote Enslackenment Be!

9X-DAY DRILL was one of the best yet, as Drills go, from my point of view. As actual Ruptures go, of course, it was another fizzle, but in terms of PRACTICE for ENJOYING the end of the world, everybody seems to agree that it offered plenty.

THERE WERE MIRACLES

One miracle was that Brushwood was BEDOTTED with ANGEL TURDS throughout the week. AssCo even shot a blurry night-vision videotape of what appears to be a naked, giant-breasted beautiful female angel shitting one of these miracle turds along a camp road. No one else saw the actual angel or angels, but almost everyone stumbled upon at least one or two of these Miracle Turds either in their camp or in odd spots around Brushwood, like under rocks or in the clefts of tree branches.

The Miracle Angel Turds look like smooth gray rocks WITH PICTURES ON THEM! -- yes, miniature PAINTINGS looking much like they had perhaps been done in enamel color paints. Yet no mortal human or SubGenius would be capable of such incredible miniature paintings -- not even Dr. Hal! FOR HOW WOULD HE BE ABLE TO PAINT A STONE WHILE IT WAS STILL INSIDE AN ANGEL'S RECTUM?? Only Rev. Susie the Floozy would be able to do something that that, and even then it would be difficult. Many HAVE pointed out that the writing on some of the stone-turds resembles the calligraphy-like writing of Susie the Floozy. And Suzie seemed at times to have preternatural knowledge of some of the stones before she had even seen them. But she has always been weird that way.

The pictures on the turdstones were gorgeously detailed, and often personalized. For instance, Princess Wei's had saucers and fropsticks on them. Dr. Hal got one with a fez (he often wears a special fez with a huge eyeball on it). G. Gordon Gordon's was either a suppository or The Magic Bullet from the JFK assassination. We have documentation of many of the stones and no doubt you will be seeing photos of them as we process the evidence.

THE XXXXX-WRISTBANDS WERE USED UP!

Every X-Day we tag paying Members with a special ElectroStimulo Negative Reinforcement Wristband. I had purchased some extras in case of this eventuality, but I didn't really expect to use them because we seemed to have PLENTY of the original wristbands left -- the ones with the XXX-design on them.

WE RAN OUT OF THOSE THIS X-DAY!

That seemed a sign that this would be THE X-Day, and got our hopes and fears up as much as the Angel Turds did.

Since I was in charge of registration this year, we have NO IDEA how many attendees there were at the festival. But there were enough that we ran out of those wristbands and had to shift to dayglo orange ones.

I counted attendance at the Saturday night music show... there were 57 people there that I could see, but I know many of the Frop/NYC cabal were not there that night when I was counting. And there are always the many mystery Yetinsyn who sign in and then disappear into alt.slack Woods, never to be seen again anywhere near the stages.

MIRACLE: THE FOG DURING "THE DIVINE CONJUNCTION"

On July 4, a mini-observatory with a huge telescope had been set up near Dr. Dark's drive-in so that we might follow the events on Jupiter during the collision of the Great Red Spot with the smaller storm known as Red Jr. We knew the Conspiracy wouldn't report anything of Dobbsful portent. BUT... of all nights... that is when a thick, werewolf-of-london FOG rolled over Brushwood, obscuring the view from the observatory at the crucial moment!

Just before the fog closed in, I myself witnessed a great multicolored VORTEX form at the border of the two massive storms (each large enough to swallow our planet), and from this Vortex I saw emerge what must have been at least a million of the 2001-style MONOLITHS, rising in pairs into space, criss-crossed to form Xes when seen from the front as they advanced towards my telescope... and it was just then, as the Million Monolith March began, that the fog thickened and my view was occluded!

MIRACLE:

NO ONE DIED OR WAS HURT!

What I mean by that is that no one died or was hurt MUCH.

MIRACLE OF LITTLE GIRLS!

The Volkerdings not only survived and came, but brought a THIRD VOLKERDING -- the laughingest baby since the Gerber's model! Agent Lloyd brought Gwendolyn, to her second X-Day; and the superstar of the Ikon and Book Burning was "Halie," who is a precocious 5 year old belonging to the Master Jason of the Woodbusters, builder of the Great Fire (and retriever of the Sacrificial Victim, which believe me is a GROSS job). Whereas the SubGeniuses were timid about attacking the Judge Punch Punching Bag, little Halie was absolutely vicious and relentless. No matter how many times Judge Punch came to his feet, she was there to lay him low again with the most powerful roudhouses ever seen in the RoundHouse (where the burnings and drummings take place).

Halie also proved herself BY FAR the most receptive and appreciative audience for my latest Dobbshead-centered animated music videos. Some of the time she was the ONLY audience. She truly appreciates morphing, drooping, vortexing Dobbsheads with tekno music in ways that escapes anyone over 6.

MIRACLES: THE BOBTISM and CHILI COOK-OFF

We made sure that it was WELL UNDERSTOOD that there would be NO cameras at the new, Stangian Bobtism. There would be no Legume and no Jesus. Dr. Hal and myself were the only Bobtizers and we kept our sacred robes on. The result was, for the first time in several years, a pool HEALTHILY FULL OF CONNIEITES. Almost as many female as male SubGenii entered the Pool of Nakedity, and there were NO FROGWATCHERS (except, ironically, Dr. Legume himself!). Every Bobtism was personalized and I was able to remember the names of every single SubGenius that I Bobtized with the odd exception of Rev. Venus Envy.

This year, because of the newly-enforced orders, EVEN PRINCESS WEI and Rev. BARBRA ALIEN were Bobtized in full nakedity.

The SubGenius 1st Annual International Chili Cook-Off featured only 5 brands of chili (including Mammy Stang's Secret Recipe), but the important thing about the chili cook-off was the SHOT I got on my DV cam panning across the cafe.

ALL OTHER GEEKY WEIRD CULTS, EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT!

At times X-Day has been called by its jealous detractors a "sausage fest," implying that, like a GWAR concert or a Star Trek convention, it's all fat 15 year old boys and almost no girls.

HOO-HAH! We built it, and THEY CAME. As I panned across that crowd of SubG pigs stuffing their faces, what my camera caught was A GAL FOR EVERY GUY. Numerically, that is. Many of the gals and guys were independent, not attached to each other. But, by Gobbs, every other person at X-Day (or at least the cook-off) was a GORGEOUS FEMALE BABE, with an excellent range of age and shape, and I inwardly laughed my ass off at the TRUE LOSERS who slander our gatherings as somehow being all-male.

The pictures that are already going around prove what I am saying. I wouldn't feel the need to brag about this, but criticisms of over-maleness have been unfairly aimed at us for some time.

Also you can't say we're all white people anymore, because there were Negroes, Puerto Ricans, and Italians galore! I think one or two people might even have been Jewish persons!

MIRACLE:

Dr. Hal aka Dr. Howll!

This man is so infuckingcredibly talented that only his devotion to "Bob" keeps him from being disqualified as a SUB-genius. Were it not for his love of "Bob" we would have to declare him a genius or even a deadly super-genius.

MIRACLE:

THE SUNDAY NIGHT RANT-MUSIC JAM.

First miracle is how GOOD it was. The main mike-bearers were Princess Pisces and Rev. Carter LeBlanc, although others such as Alex, Scalpod and DJ Shaver (possibly many more) leapt onstage to rant or sing behind or over music provided mostly by Rev. Angry Larry on guitar, Carter on bass, Rev. Phil on drums, and Rev. Two Beans on synthesizer. Pisces was SPOUTING LIKE A HOUSEAFIRE! I haven't seen anything like it in some time. She composed something like 8 different songs right off the top of her head. Fucking amazing. I kept thinking, "This CAN'T sound later, on the tape, as good as it's sounding on headphones" -- but, BY GUM, it DID!

Yes, the audio on the Volkerding-donated 4-track cassette deck SOUNDED REAL GOOD!

I have also been checking through the videotapes, going backwards from the final sixteenth one on July 5, and when that's done I'll be have a skeletal list of events which can be filled in by others. There's a lot I missed! I would have missed a lot more had not Governor Rocknar been able to hand me 5 more mini-DV tapes after I ran out (we never used more than 10 1-hour tapes before this!).

I only heard about (and saw from a distance) the naked Slip-n-Slide that was set up by (I think) Rev. Andy Christ. Luckily, Mom Exmortis was able to inform the teens sliding on it that it would work MUCH better if they TOOK OFF THEIR CLOTHES. Thus many people COULD have witnessed the sight of many skinny nekkid young folks sliding back and forth, and of the occasional middle-aged person injuring their hips on it.

I also missed an actual fake giant UFO constructed by Rev. Sloth, Gonzo, Samhain and ExMortis after the 7 AM time. (I was sleeping, finally.) Thankfully, Sis Dec was there was a camera to catch some really WEIRD images that will be excellent for future controversies over whether the Xists or SOMEBODY really DID land at Brushwood in 2006.

The sight of classic Romero LIVING DEAD shambling out of the woods and into Two Beans' rave, then the drive-in, was wonderful enough, but even better was seeing the people they had BITTEN, COME BACK A LITTLE WHILE LATER AS ZOMBIES THEMSELVES! In other words, after the first wave of zombie attacks, there was another wave, with TWICE AS MANY ZOMBIES!

There are many many more people to thank (especially Modemac) and events to marvel about, and photos to jack over, but I have just barely gotten back onto "the stick." Among the 1200 emails I had upon our return were several DOZEN orders, mostly for new Memberships and ARISE! DVDs, and I have to get on those. Also, one of my 250-gb hard drives DIED COMPLETELY yesterday. Luckily I had suspicions that Dumbkoff was dying so I had backed up pretty much everything on him except maybe some MP3s that I had collected but haven't yet put on Hour of Slack. We'll see... there may be some hope for the drive yet but only one of my 4 repair progs can even detect the drive and it soon crashes after trying to sort out its scrambled nodes, keys and B-trees, due to hardware failure... oh well... good thing I was paranoid about back-up.

The SubGenii are apparently immune to the Shulginesque poisons that were promised.

As always, no matter what they may have promised and claimed after the fact, the chickenshit kooks of alt.slack (you know who they are) once again stayed in their hovels and guessed at what they were missing.

I'm sure more spectacular remembrances will come back to me as I slog through the tapes and videos, first for Hour of Slack and then for eventual DVD etc. The Amino Acids put in an unusually long (for them) performance of WELL over their normal 20 minutes. The Billy Nayer Show certainly picked up a hundred new die-hard fans besides myself and Wei, Nickie and The Artist Formerly Known as Magdalen.

Which reminds me, the Bulldada Auction raised some good money to help with her legal bills, and I suspect that personal contacts with the right persons may have helped raise REAL REAL good money to help with those bills.

I have only half-scanned alt.slack for other 9X-Day reports and I haven't even looked into the IRC.

If anyone has IRC logs which include active X-Day participants reminiscing or fighting, if you emailed me the text log I wouldn't mind. I had house guests up until yesterday so I was not geeking in computerland.

I will say that I have seen some speculation by our critics about what sort of "vacations in England" and "fleets of Jaguars" that Magdalen has also to pay for, besides her legal bills, and I have gotten some real belly-laffs out of those. To those who will believe anything, I must stress that YOU AIN'T HEARD NOTHIN' YET! Wait'll you gimps finally figure out who we REALLY are! The Masons, Satanists and International Jewish Bankers, hell, even the U.S. Government, will all seem like PIKERS and SMALL FRY by comparison.



THANKS, EVERYONE, FOR EVERYTHING!