Stang Retirement "News Release" Confession

 We hate to have to reveal this so soon, but the hoax (originally published ONLY on SubGenius sites) is already making the news -- which should tell you something about the dependability of the news.

That "news release" about Stang retiring was merely another in a series of SubIntelligence Tests: a Gullibility Test in this case. We truly thought it too preposterous for ANYBODY to believe. So, despite previous similar tests, we are again sincerely surprised to see how many, ahem, "SubGeniuses" failed utterly to see through what should have been grossly obvious as a put-on -- especially within the context of The Church of the SubGenius. Every now and then we do things like this to sweep out the wishful thinkers, Gimme-Bobs, the eagerly gullible and a new species: those too dumb EVEN to be a SubGenius (something we previously imagined to be a contradiction in terms).

Some folks can't handle or even recognize satire unless it has a laugh track or Smiley-Face icon attached to it, and those are NOT the kind of people that are going to benefit from "Bob's" Church; many such individuals have in fact become huge liabilities in times past. You might call it "Spring Cleaning." Weeding out the "believer" types and/or the Slacklessly judgmental -- or, rather, setting up a situation whereby they weed themselves out in reflex butthurt ragequitting -- increases the likelihood of the Xists coming through this year, FINALLY. For, as it says in The PreScriptures, "The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment."

Again, for those with reading comprehension disabilities:

I, Stang, am not retiring; we just wanted to see how various people, especially certain chronically jealous haters, would react to a transparently absurd hoax. We were eager to see who would WANT to believe it.

The most hilariously indignant responses were selected for reading on HOUR OF SLACK #1365, aired last Sunday night. Special thanks to Dr. Legume for writing the news release, and to the chronic whiner who did everything he possibly could to get himself "banned," yet failed even at that. What he DID manage to do was inspire this particular test session.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/hourofslack/Hour_of_Slack_1365.mp3

There will be another pop quiz tomorrow.

For those who must have this sort of thing spelled out, the news about the SubGenius mom's missing child, and his subsequently being found, was NOT a hoax.

NEWS RELEASE

Rev. Ivan Stang announced today his retirement from the SubGenius Foundation, citing his ill demeanor and declining patience with internal conflict among the members of the SubGenius Church, appointing long-time collaborator Dr.K'taden Legume to the position of President and CEO of the Foundation.

Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, "The Hour of Slack", and attend personal speaking engagements. Rev.Stang later commented, "I'm sick to death of dealing with idiots when my time can be better spent attempting to capture the vicious Jaggi".

Dr.Legume immediately appointed Priestess Pisces as his VP, and stated that his first order of business is to examine the membership rolls and "weed out the dead weight and the malcontents".

Legume announced that there will be a huge addendum to the church's list of banned members prohibited from attending the SubGenius Foundation's annual X-Day event, to be released to the public on June 30.

"This is the beginning of a new era for the SubGenius Church", Legume stated earlier today, "My vision for the SubGenius Church is a radical departure from the tolerant policies of the past. While I expect it to be rough at the beginning as the flock gets used to the idea of a more controlled environment and more selective and stringent requirements for membership and participation in the SubGenius community, they will realize, that, as always, my way is the best way...the ONLY way. I expect this will be a new golden age for the SubGenius Church."

Dr.Legume will be receiving a six figure salary commensurate with his duties and experience.

SubGenius Family Vacation 2011-2012, 15 X-Day, Dorkus

Some readers may have noticed that although I enjoy posting endless tl:dr rantings and anecdotes to the Ministers-only ScrubGenius forum on a daily basis, I hate "blogging," and put things on this page only to advertise something, when I HAVE to. Current spam follows.

Some nice people offered to pay me for blogging, so I have sent some of my better ScrubGenius posts and some really old ones from alt.slack when it was still, well, a SubGenius group, to RAW STORY for their new blog page CULTURE CLUTCH, which already features the great Dr. Hal Robins. None of my, er, "blogs" are posted yet but will be soon. Much of it concerns my personal ShorDurPerSavs outside of the Church, like protozoans, geologically surreal landscapes, monsters, and hiking trail restrooms.

CULTURE CLUTCH BLOG by Dr. Hal and Rev. Stang on RAWSTORY.COM  

SUBGENIUS FAMILY VACATION photos

We are only one-third of the way through this project, as our winter "vacations" last 3 months now. (I pack my office into the back of the iVan.) But I'm running audio clips from it on Hour of Slack, so it's time to post the photos of what I'm talking about on the show. There is a "best-of" section at the front for those people busy enough to not wade through the whole thing. On the other hand, if you are interested in Southwestern desert landscapes, rotting buildings, and strange names and logo-art of local beers, you might love all of it.  

15X-Day/Starwood

We have already pointed you to the main 1X-Day XV pages, but Dr. Legume has created some new videos on that subject that are worth seeing and possibly highly offensive:

The Uninvited SubGenius With the Small Hairy Penis
A Trip To SubGenius Heaven - The Director's Cut  

Lonesome Cowboy Dave's New Book

Actually it is by Dave and his old buddy Wes Jenkins (heard on Hour of Slack decades ago!): DORKUS AND THE AFFAIRS OF LORD WILLING It is only available as 3 kinds of e-books, not yet as a printed physical book. I bought the PDF because that's the one anyone can read, even me. There is also a video!

 Here is the accurate blurb: ENDLESS YARNS! GRIPPING GRAPHICS! ! TITILLATING TINTYPES! A Novel by Dave Deluca & Wes Jenkins. Set in the heart of the Brutish Empire and the uncivil belly of Merika of the 1860's, this is a bumpy tale of a twisted aristocrat, who is conducting sovereign-sanctioned ergot experiments on his entourage, who in turn are controlled by dark and fatuous forces. Dickens meets Jules Verne in Dada soaked Victoriana. Available exclusively in EBOOK format from Puzzled Squirrel Press. Visit Puzzled Squirrel Press for more details. Now also available from iBooks!

15X-Day Official Site Finally Up

15 X-Day July 2-8 "2012"

Don't miss the "Instructions" and "Dos and Don'ts" pages etc. . There's plenty of new stuff there, including a triple Pipeload of great new art by Dr. K'taden Legume.

There's also an active 15X-Day Facebook page.

Reminder for Clevelandians: "Devival" This Weekend, Oct. 15

http://www.subgenius.com/newdevivals.html

I will be ranting at THE NE OHIO WITCHES BALL/"CON ON THE COB", 7 p.m., Saturday, October 15, 2011

http://www.cononthecob.com/

Clarion Hudson at 240 East Hines Hill Road Hudson, OH 44236

Also See This More Dobbscentric NEO Witches Ball Website

http://www.neowitchesball.com/

From what I can tell this is sort of like two different events crammed together -- a 4-day geek/comics/crafts/sf con and a 1-night somewhat "neopagan-y" Halloween party (The Witches Ball, I assume based roughly on the older one in Columbus). Wei and I are planning to spend Saturday there because some of the "con" (not Con) stuff sounds fun and involves monsters, and we'll probably hang out after my rant, for bands and also guest parties where they'll probably give us free drinks.

I don't know for sure that a single ordained SubGenius will be there, and the only organizer I've met is the magician Michael Mirth, who performed at Starwood -- STAGE magic, not that other kind that's COMPLETELY fake.

For me this is good because it means I'm not "preaching to the choir," but doing "SubGenius 101," which I can probably do while asleep. And it's much more fun to preach at strangers than at SubGeniuses, because the strangers are always much more polite and don't preach back at the tops of their lungs. But, they are paying me, so as always under that condition, I will give it my all. (Meaning I won't touch any inebriant all day.) Before and after, Wei and I can ogle nerd girls in dorky costumes, artwork, vendor crap we can't afford, and miniatures. There's even a special effects make-up workshop. And something called "DEVO SPICE" -- I dunno if that's a band or what, but it just before the "devival" so I guess I'll find out.

The only thing I'm not looking forward to is hauling swag in for what will probably not be many sales. But every single penny counts. Who knows, we might even save a soul or two. And you never know when somebody will turn up who is SO drunk that they want to buy one of EVERYTHING.

VERY Heavily Revised SubSITE Page: SubG Blogs, Websites, Podcasts, YouTubes List

http://www.subgenius.com/contact.htm

I've been at this (among other things) for days now, and, ASIDE FROM WHAT'S STILL MISSING, every link should work. MOST of them are "new" in that they weren't on this page before; 3/4 of what used to be there died and have been properly buried.

Includes:

Branch Offices

Usenet

Other SubGenius Websites

SubGenius Shops (unofficial)

E-Groups & Lists

Clenches & Schisms

War-Gods of AntiMusic (doktorbands)

SubGenius Radio on the Web

Since 1995 this list, and its categories, have mutated considerably. Before this week's monstro revision, Rev. Bucky was the last person to attack it, and that was years ago.

Just checking to make sure the links WORK takes an hour! FOLLOWING all the places these various sites lead, well, I'll leave that to those with a lot more spare time than I have.

I know that a lot of sites MUST be missing. For instance, the great SubGenius band THE AMINO ACIDS is not represented, because they technically broke up (except for SubGenius devival purposes). But... I don't know how many OTHER bands replaced them under bandleader Rev. Angry Larry!

I MUST SURELY have left out many important sites and forums with almost CRIMINAL negligence. WON'T YOU HELP? If I left yours out, EMAIL ME, damn it! "stang@subgenius.com" isn't that hard to remember. Trying to keep up with 30 years' worth of Clenches has turned my remaining half-a-brain-cell to MUSH. ONLY YOU can fill in the holes in this Swiss Cheese of a SubGenius Internet List.

It's funny... I remember a time when all SubGenius spin-offs were printed on PAPER, and the list of THOSE was a 16-page document with TINY PRINT! QUIJIBO was, as far as I know, the last of those zines... and I can't find a Quijibo website now! (However, I DID scan almost all Church-related pages of all QUIJIBOs for the SubGenius History Class, which I've been considering turning into the SubGenius History PAY-PER-VIEW website.)

Meanwhile... won't you help out an old Sacred Scribe? I've asked around, and got a few new clues and hints and URLs, but I KNOW there's still a lot missing. If you know of something?... WHIP IT OUT.

14X-Day Official Report Now on SubSITE (but growing)

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day_Pics/index.html

This version has two main photo sections besides the text report:

1) Photos by Stang-Doe, now carefully identified in file names and selected in order by day, several with MP3 soundtracks -- but only from Wednesday night, the only jam we had to work from until today, and the Hour of Slack first part from Thursday. More audio (plus videos) will be added as we sort through the various choices of recordings).

2) Photos by various other SubGenii, most of them collected fom Facebook and thus mostly chronologically random due to FB's renaming of photo files. I went to exactly as much trouble to make sideways shots upright as the original posters did. I did however remove the shots that were so amateurish that there was no image at all, and those so out of focus that they might as well have been shot and posted by a Pink. Ordinary photos of ordinary-looking people eating at picnic tables were likewise removed (unless their timing was dramatic.)

3) Lists of more 14X-Day stashes of photos, audio, YouTubes.

4.) The Bobbie Awards list. Shots of Bobbie Awards recipients begin here:

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day_Pics/14X-Day_StangDoe/2011_07_03-BobbieAwards-Bands/index2.html

What the report lacks is the gigabytes we will cull from the 23 hours of DV video, as well as most of the audio. That material will take literally weeks to sort through for Hour of Slack and YouTube use.

We retain the hottest nude shots for private trading.

Next: The endless track-division of the dozens of 2-hour audio files, and the work of making the videotapes presentable even for SubGenii.

Last-Minute News, Changes, Improvements on Main SubSITE X-Day Page

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day.html

Rev. Stang Reads "GREEN EGGS AND HAM" to his grandkids

http://www.subgenius.com/MP3s/Green_Eggs_and_Ham.mp3

Our OrthoStangian Convox for My Sib's Son's Perelithian Liaison

By Warden Fendant Stang and Primate Wei

Around May 26, after seeing the works of Saunt M. C. Escher at the Akronian Math, Primate Wei and myself were Vocoed for a Convox of OrthoStangians for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of the son of my sib, Anti-C!, and a Pruittessian suur. Because we had to leave the Slackianist Concent and venture extramuros, we obtained a new cartabla for our fetch.

Along the way we stayed at various small but famed maths, using a jeejaw to communicate with our fraas and suurs at each to alert them to our approach. Travelling extramuros, one is forced to break the Discipline, and I admit that we used not only jeejaws but syntactic devices at some inns sometimes even with the help of local Itas.

The roads were good and our fetch dependable, and much of the journey was pleasurable, for we passed many a productive fuel tree and page tree orchard. We often had to use super-Allswell and Jumpweed for trade, and to prevent its discovery by the agents of the Saecular powers (and attendant wasted hours before courts of dour local Panjandrums) we hid the Allswell and Jumpweed in the back of the fetch. Also, to keep the Extras from recognizing us as Avout, we traveled sans belt, chord or sphere, wearing sline's clothing and hiding our hair beneath headgear bearing kinagrams of sports teams.

Our first stop was at the Wisterian Concent for Dialogs both Suvian and Periklynian with the Hierarchs there, concerning multitudinous details regarding the 14th Apert of X-Day. Fellow OrthoSubGenians at this Convox included Suur Pisces, Suur Joy, Fraa Suds and Fraa Nigel.

At the nearby Spencerian suvin of the Centenarians Pater and Petal Nostril, we enjoyed a traditional Messal, as elaborate as any of legend for which this Clench is known.

At the Concent of Saunt Sophie, Fraa Frop and Suur Decadence presented us with a book of specfic entitled "Anathem" by the pre-Reconsititution writer Neal Stephenson. Fraa Frop later showed a speely about uncommonly young Vlor Saunts entitled "Kick Ass," which left an impression on Warden Fendant Stang.

The agrarian math of Pa Tilles likewise proved an instructive and most enjoyable hostel. Pa Tilles presented us with the Challenge of the Vanishing Calf, a calca none has yet to solve.

While conducting Dialogs with Saunt Byron Werner and Saunt Sterno in the Arkansanian Concent, new Dobbsharkian calcas involving more than one solution were developed. *

In the Concent of the OrthoStangians we stayed with the Thousander known as Pa Pappy, and prepared for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of my fid. There was some suspense over this Aut, as my sib's former Perelithian partner, who had been rejected from the mathic world in the Aut of Anathem, nonetheless returned from a sline prison to the OrthoStangian concent for the ceremony. Fraa Frop, my sibs and I feared that he would go Hundreder during the Aut, and we were prepared to employ vlor against him. Luckily his spinal clamp prevented violence, and to his credit he left immediately upon the completion of the Aut.

We are now back inside the gates of the Northern OrthoStangian Concent, replete with many memories, upsights, and, I must confess, a few treasured if illicit speely recordings that later generations might hopefully use in their researches centuries hence.

* The most recent Weiardian calca:

Saunt NHGH asks of The Dobbs: "Man made booze; "God" made pot. Who do you believe in?"

The Dobbs replies:" Pot."

Dozens of Newly Old SubGenius Videos Have Migrated from Google Video to YouTube

Google Video was around before YouTube, and allowed members to load in movies of any length, so I loaded it with my older films, some of the SubG music videos from a few years back, and whole devival rants and Amino Acids concerts. My YouTube account only held the shorter and more recent items for the most part. Others took my Googles and put them on their YouTubes and got thousands of views, especially with my old 16mm films.

Google first announced they were just going to erase everything on April 29. Then they announced they had reconsidered (i.e. were threatened with a class action lawsuit, probably), and now are planning to "auto-migrate" everything over to YouTube accounts.

I decided to look into it, and found that a) I don't trust them to auto-anything and b) it's really easy to do it yourself and doesn't take much time per video. So, I moved a couple of dozen items over there. I have a couple dozen more to do yet, but they're mostly long, like the Baltimore 2007 devival, whole Amino Acids concerts, the old Club No video from 1991, that kind of thing, and in some cases the compression is lousy.

BUT! There's a lot of "new" stuff now on YouTube, which younger or newer SubGenii might never have been aware of at all.

My YouTube Channel


Up at the very top it says ALL, UPLOADS and FAVORITES. Click on UPLOADS and you'll see the 12 "faves" I picked (and which you may well have seen before, as they've had thousands of YouTube views on other people's channels) but if you scroll down you'll see many more in the descending chronological order in which they were uploaded, with most recent first.

OR,

At upper left is the UPLOADS box.
At the bottom of the box under the 3rd video it says "see all." (Not "see all" under favorites - those are videos by others that I like.)

The box gets bigger and you SHOULD see them in most-recent order. If the list starts with "Attention Spazzblister," that's the oldest (or the first thing I put on YouTube, rather), so toggle "Date Added" to get the most recent uploads, which starts with my 40-minute underground film from 1973, "Let's Visit the World of the Future."

MOST of the videos range from 30 seconds to about 6 minutes.

Or, blow all that off and just try, say:

Let's Visit the World of the Future

… you'll see plenty of the others in the list of related stuff on the right.

"Reproduction Cycle" from 1978 is a big favorite since it's porn stop-motion claymation of Martian microorganisms.

Here's a timely music video made from a.b.s. art:
X-Day's A-Comin' - King of Slack


The Making of MTV-SubGenius
is another long one, 37 minutes.

Then there's sections of "ARISE!" like
ARISE! Chapter 05 - The Life of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

I also rearranged my Favorites (by others) and it's a pretty good stash of both SubG and non-SubG stuff.

Revised, Updated Official 14X-Day Page with Expanded Lists of Performers, Events, Bands, Instructions

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/14XDay/14X-Day.html

This revised page now covers almost EVERYTHING about the X-Day fest, its new location, and also points to a pretty active 14X-Day Facebook page.

We have lately run into "counterfeit X-Day pages," just as there are counterfeit "Bobs" out there. This one has the GOOD links (and also quite a bit of nudity if you look at the "X-Days of Yore" links near the bottom. Not that any of you would be interested in nekkid pictures.

OOPS! CORRECTION to recent post regarding Universal Life Church ordainments

I recently published a blog suggesting that the Universal Life Church had moved and was now in Seattle, and gave a new website to contact (since ULC is more well known in many states than SubGenius). I was misinformed. I had been getting occasional complaints from SubG ministers that they'd gotten no response to the postcards that come with SubGenius packs, which they mail to Modesto, California for a secondary ordination. I think that it's just that the ULC staff in Modesto was swamped.

The ULC Monastery in Seattle is NOT the original ULC, but a splinter group that is no longer authorized by the true ULC. I have been in touch with the original ULC in Modesto since my earlier announcement and understand things a little better. They have modernized their ordainment process and now accept ordainment requests electronically. But they still prefer the request in writing, such as the postcard we include in our Ordainment Package.

So, to get yourself ordained (above and beyond your perfectly good SubGenius ordination), send in your ULC request postcard, and/or go to the true original ULC website:

http://www.ulchq.com

and fill out their online form under the "Ordination" window. THIS IS FREE, although they accept donations. You can also buy nice printed wallet cards and certificates from them for $5 to $10, but those are not necessary. The important thing is that your name be registered with ULC. Same goes for SubGenius ordinations. If questioned by a city or state official you can always request a letter of credentials from us or ULC.

The Modesto ULC website has a very useful list of the specific credentials required for recognition as a minister, state by state in the U.S.A.:
http://www.ulchq.com/statelaws.htm

I apologize for sending out wrong information, and I thank Rev. Sysyphus for bringing this to my attention.

New Book on THE FIRESIGN THEATER Says Very Nice Things About Us

Taylor Jessen and Seeland Records has put out a book-dataDVD set, THE
DUKE OF MADNESS MOTORS. The book is full of interviews and essays; the
data-DVD carries MP3s of ALL their radio shows from 1970-72, which is
like 100 shows.

I haven't heard the 100 shows yet but I did get this far in the book:

"Yessiree, friends, these guys are some funny. Definitely "ha ha"
funny, but also funny dramatic, funny poetic, funny Dada. It's movies
for the mind that have only ever been matched by the likes of Ken
Nordine, Jean Shepherd, and Joe Frank. You can hear the tradition
continuing every Friday morning on Negativland's OVER THE EDGE series
on KPFA, and shows from the Church of the SubGenius like PUZZLING
EVIDENCE and THE HOUR OF SLACK."

It then refers to these shows being in "the Bulldada format" and says
more nice things about how even if we've been on for decades, every
minute of every hour still has that same "verbal jazz" spirit.

I just read the paragraph to Lonesome Cowboy Dave's message machine so
he won't feel so lonesome. (We're all a wee bit snowed in here
today.)

We also got TWO $200 donations to the show suddenly, so Dave even gets
a check. Actually I have several royalty checks to cut.

DUKE OF MADNESS MOTORS collection can be had from seelandrecords.com
and firesigntheater.com. Might be a good idea to move fast on this
one, if you're a serious collector. The whole package is $50 I think.

2011 UPDATE to ULC ordination instruction

When you purchase a SubGenius Membership and Ordination, that little card that comes with the package (which you fill out yourself) is all you need to perform weddings almost everywhere we know of in the U.S.A. and, evidently, most other countries. You don't need any more documentation from us. We ask that you send in the little confirmation postcard to us mainly because so many of our Memberships are bought as gifts for others and we want to make sure we have the right person on record.

I, Stang, and countless other SubGenius ministers, have performed dozens of marriages in many states. Every now and then a city might require a one-time fee of like $15 to be registered in that particular city. (This happened to me recently after a New York City wedding but I had no trouble getting "certified" once I paid the city's fee and sent a copy of my SubG ordination card.)

We have offered the Universal Life Church ordainment as a kind of back-up, because they were better known than we are. According to their old rules, any ULC minister (such as myself) could ordain new ULC ministers. They have evidently changed this recently, and they also changed addresses and methods. For one thing they seem to have moved from Modesto, CA to Seattle:

ULC Monastery Staff
1425 Broadway Ste. 67
Seattle, WA 98122 USA

They now say that the only way to become a Minister of their church is through their online ordination process at :

http://www.themonastery.org/

This is still free, although they now (not unreasonably) charge to mail you the certificate ($7), a plastic ID card ($12, much fancier than the one I got in 1979) or even a big $50 package.

Hmmm. Maybe we need to update our ordainment package too.

To repeat: You are already a SubGenius minister and your card proves it. (You can also request an official letter from me if some picky state demands such things.) The ULC ordination is a bonus you can choose or not.

If your SubG package came with a postcard addressed to ULC in California, you can toss that, and just register with them online if you wish.

Thanks and praise "Bob,"

Rev. Ivan Stang

Not for Pinks or the Unsaved: SUBGENIUS MEMBERS-ONLY FORUM: SCRUBGENIUS

There is now a Members-only Internet forum for True SubGenii on Google Groups, called ScrubGenius.

For decades -- since 1986 in fact -- alt.slack on Usenet was the main SubGenius forum. Unfortunately, because it was unmoderated, it acted also as a kind of "kook flypaper," and in recent years it began to draw so many -- er, how to put this? Our formerly great newsgroup is now about 90% what we might call unbelievers, Pink Boys, the Differently Saned, unfunny but overactive Bobbies, obsessive spurned fanboys, occultist ninnies who claim they're Dobbs or God, racist psychos and other "Bob"less paranoid PinKooks. Most of the "Rev. Ivan Stangs" that post there are not the real one, for instance, and (sorry to disappoint you) none of the so-called "Bobs" there are the One True J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.

Thousands of SubGenii are now using Facebook, initially meeting via the two official pages, CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS and SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION.

ALT.SLACK REPLACEMENT:

Our friend Rev. Tater Gumfries started SCRUBGENIUS, a new Members Only forum on Google Groups. Any DUES-PAYING $30 SubGenius minister can join, but anybody can be thrown out too. So, for the finest in kookery and kook-bashing, by all means see good old alt.slack. But for the unsullied SubGenius news, gossip and interaction, try:

http://groups.google.com/group/scrubgenius

You will have to join Google Groups -- most people probably already have -- which costs nothing, and you will then apply to join ScrubGenius. You must give your "human name" -- the one you first ordered your Membership under -- or otherwise give us something to look up in our records, like a physical or email address that we would have from your order.

ScrubGenius is where you'll find chatty posts, caustic humor, inner-church secrets and old-school rants by such long-time SubGenii as Rev. Stang, Rev. Susie the Floozie, Dr. Legume etc.

An Urgent Suggestion - VOTE (and some news)

On behalf of myself and no one else, I urge my fellow U.S.A. citizens to heed the message of last night's Hour of Slack show, and get out and vote on Tuesday. Sure, the System's broken, blah blah woof woof, but just listen to the careful reasoning (and readings from the SubGenius-Only forum, ScrubGenius) and give it some thought. But do it before Tuesday night.

Hour of Slack #1281 -- Live: Halloween Monster / November Election Special

"After some choice clips from past shows and collages concerning the world of monsters and politics, we continue to explore that theme, live in the studio, with Lonesome Cowboy Dave, Princess Wei 'R.' Doe, and Rev. Ivan Stang on blabberlips. We try not to get too clearly or overtly political on Hour of Slack, but in this particular episode, Rev. Stang lets out some steam that he has evidently been holding in for some time. Learn why The Monsters Are Coming to Maple Street and how to stop them."

On SubSITE: 2010 NYC Devival Reports, Photos, Audio of the Whole Show

"X-DAY IN WONDERLAND"

That's what Princess Wei called this devival, because it really was like a good chunk of X-Day Drill at its best, only indoors. From my point of view it was one of the best devivals ever, on all counts. Turnout was great, venue was great, performances were great, sales were great, and best of all, unlike X-Day, I wasn't in charge. All I HAD to do was rant and perform a wedding!

You can hear/download the whole thing from the above-linked page. If you want you can also read an unreasonably detailed photo report by Princess Wei and myself about the quaintliness and quaintitudes we encountered on our road trip across Pennsylvania to and from the devival.

CULT CREATION & MANAGEMENT

And

THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS

(scroll down to the SubGenius course by Stang)

The online class is in its fourth year at Maybe Logic Academy. We started on Oct. 25, but it lasts 6 weeks and all of the materials -- 3 data-DVDs worth of video, audio and documents (like all the STARK FISTS) from the early days of the Church until now -- are available the whole time. We're really just starting, and if you join now you won't have missed anything. Even the daily live chats are archived.

Nov. 13 -- Detroit Devival

With THE AMINO ACIDS, Rev. Ivan Stang, much more.

9 pm at Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit, MI

Facebook Page

TWO MAJOR SUBGENIUS EVENTS IN OCTOBER: NYC DEVIVAL Oct. 9 and MAYBE LOGIC ACADEMY'S 6-WEEK ONLINE SUBGENIUS CLASS - OCT. 25 - DEC.12

One requires you to go to New York City; the other lets you download hundreds of hours of audio, video and graphics while ensconced at home.

You are more likely to pick up an attractive stranger at the NYC event. Therefore, we urge you to do BOTH.

The powerful Go F--- Yourself Clench of NYC is bringing top SubGenius preachers and bands, and Dobbs only knows what else, to the fabulous Wonderland in Astoria, to entertain you to within an inch of your life. Preachers include Rev. Ivan Stang, Rev. Susie the Floozie, Rev. Bleepo Abernathy, Priestess Pisces, Pope David Black, and Sinphaltimus Exmortis. Music will be by Rev. Phat Man Dee, The Duke of Uke, Fat Free, DJ2B, and Lon DuQuette. It's like an X-Day Drill -- only indoors! "HARD CORE SLACK IN THE GREATEST METROPOLITAN HELLHOLE KNOWN TO MAN! SEE IT before it gets BLOWN OFF THE MAP!" -- Rev. Back It On Up, Hostess

This blasphemous, alcohol-soaked SubGenius event is practically within spitting distance of the sacred "Ground Zero"!

Directions and many more details are on the subgenius.com Events Page:

http://www.subgenius.com/newdevivals.html

(There you can also learn about the Nov. 13 Devival in Detroit and an event in Little Rock, Nov. 20… also, links to photo and video reports on the recent DEVOtional and other Cleveland events, 13X-Day Drill and Starwood 30.)

Updates to everything can always be found at the relatively new OFFICIAL SUBGENIUS FACEBOOK PAGE

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New Improved SubGenius Online Course at Maybe Logic Academy - starts Oct. 25, Bigger Than Ever

http://www.maybelogic.org/courses.htm

(scroll down)

To ENROLL:

http://www.maybelogic.org/enroll.htm

This online course offers two very different and distinct parts, running simultaneously for 6 weeks.

CULT CREATION AND MANAGEMENT is the interactive, participatory part, with several live chatrooms sessions each week. Students who want to create their own cults --- either funny or serious, or both -- work with Rev. Stang and each other to develop their ideas and bring them to life in the form of websites, publications, etc., just as The Church of the SubGenius did in its early days. By the end of the 6 weeks, industrious students will have developed their own proto-cult, ready for the market.

THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS is a truly huge stash of downloadable multimedia, including practically everything created by The SubGenius Foundation and friends besides the three main SubGenius books that are still in print.

It includes a book's worth of brand new text, a DVD's worth of MP3 audio, another DVD's worth of AVI videos, and yet a third DVD's worth of graphics -- most of it available ONLY through this course.

This course has been running annually since 2006, and in that time Rev. Stang has scanned practically every page of every important Church publication (for instance, all of the STARK FIST OF REMOVAL zines), the most revealing letters from Church artists, writers and even celebrity weirdos, color versions of art pieces and comics previously seen only in B&W if at all, every newspaper or magazine article about the Church, every interview, all the way down to the yellow pads on which the Church doctrine was first outlined in 1977.

The audio on the MP3 files includes all of the SubGenius Media Barrage tapes, all of the BobSong music albums, all of the edited SubG convention, devival and X-Day Drill reports, early phone conversations between Stang and Drummond and other very early collaborators on the project, actual documentary recordings of the various insane people and kooks who have attempted to hijack the Church, dozens of the best Hour of Slack radio shows (and other SubG shows, like Puzzling Evidence and Susie the Floozie's) from each year, going back to 1985, and many sermons from live Church stage shows. It totals literally hundreds of hours of sound, representing 30 years of SubGenius media editing.

The videos, in DivX avi and/or mpeg1 format, comprise another 20 or more hours of multimedia: TV news show segments about the Church, animated and live SubGenius shorts, documentaries about the various X-Day Drills and devivals going back to 1980, music videos, interviews with SubGeniuses, even "anti-SubGenius" shows.

Each year, Stang has added more and more detail to the text history, so that it is now the equivalent of an entire new nonfiction book. As you might imagine, the real-life events that occur with a global group of weirdos and freaks like The Church of the SubGenius involve many stories that seem almost too bizarre to be real, as do many of the real characters that have become involved with the Church in one way or another during the last 3 decades. You'll get Stang's autobiographical accounts of everything from the very first beginnings of the SubGenius concept to the worst and most insane crackpots that it has attracted.

The multimedia stashes will be available throughout the 6 week duration of the course, as it would probably take almost that long just to download it all. For the price of the course, each student has access to materials that would otherwise cost hundreds of dollars to procure one at a time, as well as priceless materials that are available no other way.

The strange, inspiring and sometimes frightening anecdotes that Stang presents will prompt all manner of questions and observations about the nature of religion and philosophy, and these will be addressed in the frequent live chat discussions.

At the end of the course, the student will not only have a diploma, but his or her own brand-new self-invented cult and a complete multimedia library of practically everything worthwhile created in the name of "Bob" -- thousands of pages of text and graphics, and thousands of hours of audio and video.

******************

TOP SECRET

SUBGENIUS MINISTER'S EYES ONLY

NOT FOR PINKS

There is a secret Internet forum for True SubGenii on Google Groups, called ScrubGenius.

For decades -- since 1986 in fact -- alt.slack on Usenet was the main SubGenius forum. Unfortunately, because it was unmoderated, it acted also as a kind of "kook flypaper," and in recent years it gradually began to draw so many -- er, how to put this? Our formerly great newsgroup is now is about 75% what we might call unbelievers, Pink Boys, the Differently Saned, unfunny but overactive Bobbies, obsessive spurned fanboys, occultist ninnies who claim they're Dobbs or God, racist psychos and other "Bob"less paranoid PinKooks.

Our friend Rev. Tater Gumfries started a new Members Only forum on Google Groups. Any SubGenius can join, but anybody can be thrown out too. So, for the finest in kookery and kook-bashing, by all means see good old alt.slack. But for the unsullied SubGenius news, gossip and interaction, try:

http://groups.google.com/group/scrubgenius

You will have to join Google Groups -- most people probably already have -- which costs nothing, and you will then apply to join ScrubGenius. Give your "human name" -- the one you first ordered your Membership under -- and the latest Church Name and/or Internet Handle you are known by. One of the moderators (I, Stang am one) will get back to you and grant you access.

If you give this secret out to the UnSaved, you will be struck down by the REAL Stark Fist of Removal. That will happen anyway sooner or later, but don't risk making it happen sooner. "Bob's" Wrath -- you don't even want to know. He doesn't get a wrath-on very often, but it's awful to behold.

*************

THE HOUR OF SLACK on Several New Stations

The show has been picked up by new stations in North Carolina, Connecticut, Texas, and several Internet stations. The complete list is here:

http://subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

Almost all of the 1,280 episodes of the show are available for free download! The rich can subscribe and have CDs mailed to them biweekly:

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/audio-hos.htm

********************

YouTube Slack

There's some new SubGenius & DEVO related video at my YouTube channel, which leads to many other, more active SubGenius channels:

http://www.youtube.com/user/revstang

Another huge collection of SubGenius videos:

http://www.youtube.com/user/mcgrewrich

******************

FILTH!

SLAKCHAN -- New Sick Art and Photo Forum:

http://www.slackchan.org/bob/imgboard.php

NOT FOR KIDS

***************

YOUR CHANCE TO VOTE FOR THE MIRACLE "BOB" TOAST MAKER!

http://jesustoasters.com/

This fellow's toasters will miraculously burn an image of Jesus (or a hemp leaf, or peace sign) on bread… help make the next one a Dobbshead-burner! Scroll down to the survey. "Bob" is already ahead of Moses and Our Lady of Guadalupe, and swiftly gaining on Sarah Palin and Jerry Garcia! (Muhammad remains in the lead.)

Let There Be Slack.

See you sinners on the Saucers,

Rev. Ivan Stang

Sacred Scribe #273

13X-Day Drill, Starwood 30 Survived; Backed-Up Orders Filled

We are back in the SubGenius Foundation offices at the Slackermansion in Cleveland Heights, after two weeklong outdoor festivals in a row, plus days of packing and unpacking. Full reports on X-Day 13 and Starwood 30 will follow, but we want our beloved customers to know that all of the orders for books, ordainments, etc. that came in since June 29 have now been filled and the products are in the mail.

13X-Day is being called "the best X-Day Drill yet" by most of the attendees. Obviously, had the Xist saucers come and the Rupture happened, it would have been much better, but we're beginning to suspect that "Bob's" point may be that X-Day could happen AT ANY TIME - so you had better get Slack now. I know that I am happy with the hours of recordings I brought home, thanks to the great bands and ranters, and to Pater Nostril, who recorded it all. I will probably be combing through all that audio for the next ten Hours of Slack.

We are still editing our own photos, because we are very picky, but many other X-Day attendees have already posted theirs. You can find links to all of these various photo collections at Modemac's 13X-Day Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sherman-NY/X-Day-XIII-June-30-July-5-2010/10150127390070697

Many SubGenii have also posted their text reports on 13X-Day at the Members-only ScrubGenius group. Some are also posted on alt.slack, our older, unmoderated and kook-riddled forum. I will attempt to copy those reports and gather them in a 13X-Day section on subgenius.com soon. Anybody is welcome to email me their pictures, writings etc. if they want to be sure and see them archived for eternity at subgenius.com.

The Starwood Festival's 30th anniversary event was held at a new site, Wisteria, that is even prettier than Brushwood, and while attendance was down (as expected, considering the blow Starwood was dealt by its new competition), the event went beautifully. People are describing it as the most fun Starwood in several years. The devival, along with some great music by Rev. Phat Man Dee and others, will be heard on Hour of Slack in due time and possibly in multiple installments. We won't be posting quite as many photos from Starwood as from X-Day, because there was a lot more nudity (and more strangers and innocent bystanders).

We'll announce the links as soon as our big reports and photo galleries are done. Meanwhile, those who ordered SubGenius goods between June 29 and July 14 should be seeing the swag in their mailboxes by July 17 (or maybe a few days later for the overseas customers).

Praise "Bob," and praise all the SubGenii and other weirdos who made both the main SubGenius event and the USA's foremost neopagan festival such successes.

P.S. There is now an official SubGenius Foundation Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cleveland-Heights-OH/SubGenius-Foundation/124410604252009

NEW! - 13 X-Day Souvenir Propaganda Garments and Other Products

http://www.cafepress.com/subgen/188969

Better late than never. Wonderful souvenirs to cherish! -- Touching reminders of the last days of your life on planet Earth and your liberation by Dobbs. Shirts, hoodies, kids' clothes, mugs, steins, Liquid Frop Bottles, all emblazoned with the famous 13 X-Day posters by Rev. Pan Demonium and/or this year's antique bug porn "squirrel shot."

See our 13X-Day page for complete information on how to not die very soon.