SEE YOU ON THE SAUCERS!

Ah, the last few fleeting days before X-Day… every year… such a frenzy. Possibly it's a little like this for Santa's Elves, or the Post Office, around Xmas.

For those heading to Brushwood for 8X-Day, any important updates will be on the X-Day yahoo list and/or my SubGenius newsblog. Amazing how many things one finds one has to do even though the world is about to end.

Apparently some people have been under the impression that there is no cab service to Brushwood. THERE IS! It's only a few minutes from Sherman, NY, and cab companies in nearby Jamestown NY or Erie PA service the area.

As usual, we offer our annual last-minutes-on-Earth GIVE-AWAY on SubSITE and other Internet SubGenius outreaches.

7X-DAY the MOVIE: "SHARE THE LOAD"

Thanks to a sudden equipment donation by The Gription Clench (those starkly ever-nontightening fisters), we have remastered two old videos (about X-Day 1998 at Brushwood, a really weird extravaganza) and the new 7X-Day-of-Slack video onto one DVD, which we will first start selling at 8X-Day. But in the meantime, you can get a FREE INTERNET BOOTLEG COPY from alt.binaries.multimedia.slack.

A HUGE ARRAY OF NEW SUBGENIUS DESIGNS has been added to our CafePress SubSTORE. The largest variety of new objects d'Slack in the catalog is in the 8X-Day section: http://www.cafepress.com/subgen/188969
And in T-shirts: http://www.cafepress.com/subgen/188961
… but there are also plenty of new things among the bumper stickers, housewares, art tiles, etc. There are even now Dobbshead THROW PILLOWS: http://www.cafepress.com/subgen/188926

CONGRATULATIONS TO US! On June 19, we produced the 1000th Hour of Slack. One thousand shows since we started in October, 1985! #1000 was a Special Salute featuring tapes and letters sent in by listeners and contributors for the occasion -- and two-way Thanx Fest. This new show, our final Earth show #1001 (Sex Secrets of The Conspiracy), and a seventh XXX-Rated "Internet Only" show are all now freely downloadable from our Hour of Slack page:
http://subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

THE STARK FIST ONLINE has had yet another archived month from alt.slack added, March, by guest ediotors Revs. Fenian and Paco: http://subgenius.com/bigfist/FIST2004-1/mar2k5/index.html

What else? Did I already mention the new Hour of Slack CD (#984, a "best-of), the new DVD, TEN MINUTES TO SHOWTIME, The OGGs of LeMur, the Winterstar and Detroit devivals, or Hour of Slack MP3s Volume 20? Yes? Well, I'll say it again: they're all at http://subgenius.com/scatalog/new_crap.htm

At this writing, it's 5:30 pm on Monday, June 27. In about two hours, the MegaFisTemple Lodge here will start filling up with INSANE PEOPLE. I am going to make a stalwart attempt to fill the last minute orders that come in for Salvation up to the last minute, but if we don't get your order pretty soon, we'll have to hand you your stuff personally when me meet on the Escape Vessels of the Xists… any day now.

This may be my last chance to communicate to you as Sacred Scribe before the crazy people start arriving here, or certainly before we are all Ruptured up in glory to meet "Bob" on the spaceships at 7 am this July 5. I'm sure we all feel a bit like the dolphins at the very beginning of Hitchhiker's Guide. We'd like to thank the Unsaved who helped spread Slack, and we're sorry they're all about to die so very horribly. But they wouldn't understand…

I am sure that everyone reading this is already a $30 dues-paying Minister in the Church, with absolutely nothing to worry about as the ultimate and total end of all so-called human reality approaches. To you I say, LET THERE BE SLACK! Go easy on the humans as you Vacate this mortal Evacuation Chamber; they weren't ALL the bad kind. If you must mete out vengeance, be specific. Don't go at it all willy-nilly, or the innocent will suffer EXTRA. Poor things. Oh well. They all could have sent in their $30. On second thought, I take it back. Too much is always better than not enough. LET 'EM HAVE IT.

Your Good Friend and Prayer Partner,

Rev. Ivan Stang

SUBGENIUS ARTISTS FINALLY PROPERLY EXPLOITED!

Empowering designs by Espira, LeMur, Heart Ignition, IMBJR and StangDoe depict what awaits the nonbeliever and the molester. Not very ladylike, but close enough for the girls we go out with. Will be worth millions if world doesn't end. Be careful which family gatherings you wear this one to. Backside image is sure to spark fights while in line at the store.

8X-DAY clothing, keepsakes, hats, badges, buttons, bumper stickers, pendants, nose pickers

T-SHIRTS: 16 offensive new designs by LeMur, Heart Ignition, IMBJR, Espira, "OTHERS"

New: THROW PILLOWS! (Seriously.) And mouse pads, journals, and misc. doodads

POSTERS and FRAMED PRINTS: by popular request, "e-paintings" by Heart Ignition are now available. Did you know that the classic "45 Dobbsheads" has been followed by "45 more" and "45 Dobbsheads 3"? Plus another couple dozen? Those and more are STREWN catalog-wide.

CERAMIC ART TILES: Eternal Testaments. This has some of the most penetrating visual work of the Church, CONDENSED.

GREETING CARDS: Sometimes sensitive issues such as a death, or the loss of a job or partner, are most conveniently settled by just sending a pre-processed modular card, avoiding all that difficult personal interaction. THESE ARE THE CARDS YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.

COFFEE MUGS: These are for DRINKERS. Drinkers of all kinds -- of soporifics, stimulants, psychedelics, whatever -- as long as it's HARD STUFF.

FROPTAINERS and STASHBOXES: The less said the better, nudge wink nudge EEAAAAUAULLLPP!

STICKERS: Now disguised as public service messages like you see on the tram.

POSTCARDS: Easily pretend you're sending from a foreign mindset.

BUMPER STICKERS: One really good new one to go with the two dozen really good old ones.

New on SubSITE: 8X-Day details, Comic Book, Stark Fist

For those going to 8X-Day at Brushwood, Valencia, or Cambodia, and for voyeurs, we have a section of RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS and SPECULATIONS FROM THE FLOCK inside the more general 8X-Day quarter. Much was added just today, including illustrations on every page.

Governor of SportsLand Rocknar, and First Sponsor of Dr. Howl's appearance at 8X-Day, has mangled a beloved old favorite comic book into an all-new saga of a descent into Hell by the famous SubGenius, Pastor Craig. (Pastor Craig is actually a SubGenius Saint of long standing.) See THIS WAS YOUR LIFE, PASTOR CRAIG.

And, thanks to new ediotors, Rev. Fenian and Rev. Paco, THE STARK FIST ONLINE has an updated FEBRUARY 2005 ALT.SLACK DIGEST encompassing the bizarre thoughts and discoveries of the alt.slack denizens during that strange month.

The "DR. HOWL TO 8X-DAY" FUND is getting CLOSE -- we're only $150 from our goal, which is a $412 plane ticket, SF to CLE. (Turns out I spoke a "wei" bit too soon... Wei and I already gave more at the office than we thought. Or would really want to think ABOUT.)

Plane fare for Dr. Howl Almost Possible!

So far we've raised $225 for Hal's plane ticket... close enough that I priced them today. It's $412 with tax, lowest I found on Priceline. Wei and I can put in $50 each so we only need another $75!!

SEVENTY FIVE BUCKS will bring Dr. Howl to 8X-Day!

$35 each from TWO MORE BELIEVERS WILL DO IT!

Or $25 from THREE!

Paypal button on X-Day page
http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/8XDay/8X-Day.html

OR email me with half your credit card # and then another email with the other half and the expiration date!

With Philo AND Hal there, we won't need ANY PREACHERS OR BANDS! (We'll have them anyway.)

Speaking of bands, the only "name bands" or even bands that HAVE names that I know are coming are The Amino Acids and Lonesome Cowboy Dave's Mondo Retardo Band. That means major jam-space and DJ-ing time for ambitious or compulsive arteests and Doktors. So bring your noisemakers.

Last year we didn't EXPECT Little Fyodor, but he and Babushka showed up and turned in a set that blew everybody away (and became a live album!).

Another way to help make 8X-Day a big success is to BUY TONS OF SACRED MEDIA DIRECTLY FROM THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION:

http://subgenius.com/scatalog/new_crap.htm

There's quite a bit that's brand spanking new.

PRAISE BE to the DONATORS of the HOWL-TICKET: Gov. Rocknar, Sister Decadence, Phineas Narco, Rev. Weinholt, Rev. Delirus!

8X-Day and Other Stuff

DEAR FRIENDS...

X-Day is bearing down swiftly! Although the impending End of the World would theoretically be cause to blow everything off, for The SubGenius Foundation it's ironically the busiest time of the year. Hopefully this will be the last year, period. I spent last week doing the Church Taxes (!!), followed by the X-Day mailing, and those are both yearly chores that I wouldn't mind transcending. We have some pretty stiff bills that I would especially like to transmigrate out of having to pay.

My favorite SubGenius news forum, alt.slack, has been abuzz with excitement and ahorn with lust about 8X-Day at Brushwood, and I've compiled and edited the meat of it in an 8X-DAY DETAILS, NEWS, SPECULATIONS section.

Rev. Nickie Deathchick's Costume Ball theme this year is DIETIES. BECOME ONE. BUILD one.

Last year, we raised the $cratch for plane fare to bring in the fantastic performer and scholar Dr. Howl, but this year we're still $200 short of that goal. "BOB" has already matched your donation! Governor Rocknar has led the crusade. You can donate via Paypal via a button on the 8X-Day page, mailing a check or "buying" something from BULLDADA and then emailing me to say it's really for Dr. Howl. HURRY!

Hurry also to BUY BUY BUY before X-DAY! YOUR MONEY ISN'T WORTH ANYTHING!! BUT EVERYTHING YOU POSSESS THAT BEARS A DOBBSHEAD WILL BE WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM! BUY BULLDADA!

If you're into downloading free movies, alt.binaries.multimedia.slack has been freshly filled up with X-Day related short videos, including most recently the excellent "5X-Day Featurette" in MP4 and a DivX video of the intense 10-minute "music video" cut of 6X-Day. There have been several songs, then music videos or "Dobbsedeliasteses", about X-Day, and those have all been duly deposited. These aren't crappy little blurry computer mpegs but QUALITY BOOTLEGS that play from a CDR on many DVD players. And don't just download them -- UPLOAD THEM to OTHER movie newsgroups! If there is ONE MORE UNSAVED SUBGENIUS SOUL remaining out there who MIGHT make it aboard the Saucers if we make that outreach effort, then we must make that effort!

There's a huge PODCAST and stash of excellent stereo MP3s of recent Hour of Slack Radio shows at Radio4All.

Some of this is costing us a mint and we need MONEY -- not just for ourselves, but for KOOL-AID at 8X-Day, among other things. You don't want the Church handyman, Old Muleskinner, and his kids, to go hungry. We already had to sell Ol' Bessie and Ol' Bossie. So please, see if there isn't something YOU DESPERATELY NEED in the catalog -- THERE IS!! Or will be. By tomorrow I hope to have TWO new DVDs, one new CD and THREE new CDRs on the NEW CRAP page.

Now, ABOUT YOUR ORDAINMENT.

We did a mailing last week to ALL U.S. SUBGENIUS MINISTERS on our mailing list -- an 8X-Day postcard. I went over the Minister list myself in minute detail, cross-referencing it with The Akashic Records, The Book of Life, and the lists the C.I.A. trades with us -- and it looks to me like MANY OF YOU NEVER SENT IN THAT LITTLE ADDRESS AND NAME VERIFICATION POSTCARD that came with your Membership Pack! SLACKERS!

DON'T WORRY -- YOU'LL STILL BE RUPTURED UP TO THE SAUCERS ON X-DAY. You have that $30 Minister's Card/Saucer Ticket, and your Pstench is in The Book of Life. But you might not get mailings from The SubGenius Foundation.

If you bought that pack from Bulldada Time Control since last September, when total and utter control over the business fell back into Stangian Orthodox hands, you don't have anything to worry about. My personal Throne Office staff is very well disciplined by the NunSnakes. But if you bought it from the CafePress store, or the late Austin SubGenius office before The Conspiracy shut it down, and didn't mail in that card, then you probably aren't on our mailing list. If you got an X-Day postcard this week, then obviously you don't have to worry about it. If you didn't, but you bought a Membership, you should mail or fax to my office that verification postcard (or a photocopy of it, if you want to keep the purty Legume color art that's on it). That's 888-669-2323 or 216-320-9528 for the fax, or Box 181417, Cleveland Hts, OH 44118.

I do my bitching and moaning on alt.slack about the hard practicalities of being the Head Clerk of "Bob's" earthly outreach... a LOT of bitching and moaning. One of these days I'll collect those together so the newsgroup-blind can endure them if they wish to. Some of the... individuals, and the... situations... that I find myself dealing with are pretty... "funny." But I want to use this blog mainly for the really important stuff, like what YOU NEED TO BUY.

I try to save my serious RANTING for devivals, public preaching engagements, Hour of Slack and the occasional written outburst on alt.slack, which eventually sifts down into the Online Stark Fist anyway. Hmm, maybe I should change that front page to reflect the fact that this is the year 2005.

We have several very small projects and one very very LARGE project that we'd like to concentrate on, once we're aboard the Escape Vessels, or once we otherwise get this mundane earthly crap out of the way.

No end to the little tasks of a Scribe, I tell you. But I want you, dear friend, to know that I am a true SUBGENIUS of a Sacred Scribe. That means that, while I LIKE to bust ass on SubGenius projects, and especially with the Escape Vessels on their way, I am also empowered to TOTALLY BLOW THEM ALL OFF.

And so on that Slackful note, I shall take my leave.

Thank you for SHOPPING SUBGENIUS and helping us fight the Wor. See you on the Saucers!

The SubGenius Mailing List

Before all this other stuff, I want to mention that Hours of Slack 994 and 995 are now online.

(Started May 19, 10 am)

I'm entering new Members to the database, and moving Lost Members to the Lost Members file.

For teX-Day, I sent postcards to everyone in Texas and Louisiana. Out of 400 cards mailed, 40 came back stamped "Attempted Not Known" or "Not Deliverable as Addressed, Unable to Forward".

One came back inside an envelope, with this handwritten on it: "Carrie Dillon DOES NOT live here. I am a God-fearing Christian. Save your postage. (Get my address off this disgusting mail list)"

Joe Lansdale moved... Lewis Shiner moved ...Farley Scott aka "Rev. Bob" ... Rev. BARWELL, Rev. Cosmo Euthanasius moved... Need CODINI's new address in VA

Some post offices, when they slap on the sticker that says "Undeliverable," place it directly OVER the address so that when it bounces back to the sender, there's no way to tell WHICH address it was that was bad, without carefully peeling back the sticker, IF THAT IS EVEN POSSIBLE.

Chuck "Sexecutioner" Varga... Sister "Lords of the Highway" Sugar... David Apocolypse... current locations ALL UNKNOWN.

DEAD, DEAD, DEAD -- but still on the mailing list until now: Ken Kesey - Tim Leary - The Heavenly Morphodite - NIGHTFLIGHT - Kerry Thornley - POLYGRAM - PHENOMICON - Eris Pagana - Sverre Kristensen - MTV On-Air-Promotions - - Mike Saenz & Reactor - John Fudge - Russ Meyer - J'lahn's brain - yes, all of those were STILL on the list and had to be removed by me in the year 2005. Downright funereal. What I was told about the bad addresses being removed by virtue of nifty computerized mailing services apparently wasn't entirely accurate.

I LOOKED AT EVERY SINGLE MEMBER ADDRESS... YES, I, STANG SKIMMED THROUGH ALL OF THEM, SCANNING FOR PROBLEMS. When I finished removing duplicates, dead guys, drop-outs and shunned assholes, I still had 4,041. From the teXDay Formula we can guess that 1 in 10, or 400, of those are bad.

But I haven't yet added the new ones that came in since around October '04, when the list became my responsibility again.

First I had to merge my own private mailing list into the Official Church Mailing list, maintained by the previous administration. My list, "Doktors 1," covers everyone I know personally, and gets updated constantly. When adding mine to the master list, I had to be careful to remove duplicates, such as when somebody was on BOTH lists.

But there WERE ALMOST NO DUPLICATES -- almost everyone on my personal list had been DROPPED from the master list, or else they were listed under old addresses.

Years ago, when we were striving to clean up the list, and dump bad addresses, we mailed out a Stark Fist that had a POSTCARD in it that you had to fill out and send back to us, so as to VERIFY your existence. Unfortunately, many of the recipients, especially my pals, didn't mess with the card, assuming "Stang knows I'm still here," only it wasn't Stang who was asking, and it wasn't my list we were trying to update. So a lot of my friends were not on the master list (until now). Princess Wei for instance.

Then there's the issue of the little postcard that comes with your Membership kit. Jesus invented that thing so we could keep track of Members, even if the membership was sold by someone else, Café Press for instance, or if it was a Gift or Prank Membership. Jesus therefore didn't add addresses to the Book of Life when the $30 was sent in; He added them when that POSTCARD was sent in.

BUT!! Only about one in ten SubGenii actually mail in that card after they get their Memb Pack. I realized this as I was doing the Texas mailing recently. I saw that even though I had sold probably 30 Memberships to Texans during the last 6 months, there were only THREE POSTCARDS filled out by Texans from the same period. This would explain why, even though we sell a Membership a day, roughly, we didn't end up with 365 new Members per year on our list.

Yes, the artwork on that card (by Legume) is pretty, and the card is shiny. BUT YOU MUST SEND IN THAT CARD. Or, you can PHOTOCOPY the card, and mail or fax that in.

If you don't send in the card, or that info, THAT'S OKAY. It saves me TONS of work. It means I have only about 50 entries to type before the 8X-Mailing instead of 500. It means we got your $30, but we don't ever have to send you anything again after that first big package.

Actually in truth I intend to go through the sales records and go ahead and list everyone who sent their $30, WHETHER OR NOT they sent their postcard in. But I might not get around to it for this mailing. That will be a massive back-burner chore for a volunteer or poorly paid robot to do at some point in the unhurried future, or gradually.

So look at your old tattered Membership Pack, see if there's a nice full color postcard in there that you MEANT to get around to sending in, and SEND IT IN.

And if it has a Dallas or Austin address on it, CHANGE THAT to
PO Box 181417
Cleveland Heights, OH 44118

DID YOU MOVE since becoming a Minister? SEND US YOUR NEW ADDRESS (and also the name you signed up under). The PO won't forward stuff after about 6 months -- IF they bother to forward things at all. Sure, when you moved, you sent your change of address thingie to PC WORLD, and BARELY LEGAL, and LEG SHOW, but did you send it to your CHURCH??

PLEASE WRITE LEGIBLY! If we have to guess your last name from a drugged-out scrawl, chances are I'll guess wrong and the robots will dump you from the list later. People tend to print their names the way they say their phone numbers - as if I've already heard it as many times as they've said it. Here's a good example: what I read on the guy's card was "David Athehcar, 3005 161 St. ." I double-checked, by doing a search for "David A" in my orders file, and found him - but Athecar wasn't anything like his last name, and "3005 161 st" was nothing like the actual address. It was 300 S. 16th Street.

I am not going to be double-checking every time I come to an illegible scrawl. I (or Old Bessie's replacement) will be guessing. Don't make us guess!

WHETHER WE HAVE YOUR CURRENT ADDRESS OR NOT, YOU ARE STILL SAVED and will be RUPTURED UP onto the Escape Veseels of the Sex Goddesses on X-Day. That all works by magic (alien science actually); the SECOND you sent that $30 to "Bob," that was when you made the XIST list.

It's just we mortal mail order clerks who must be TOLD when you move, so we can mail you your devival alerts, and maybe even a Stark Fist Newsletter on paper, as soon as I finish paying off the debts incurred in previous Stark Fist and Dallas SubGenius Office situations.

If you told us your change of address during the years from 1996 to 2005, you might want to tell us again, just to be safe.

Believe it or not, I, Stang, feel some personal responsibility to anyone who sends us $30. Not much, but enough that I'm handling this mailing list mess myself rather than entrusting it to anybody else again. Live and learn. And then DIE, if you HAVEN'T EVEN YET sent in your $30.

IF you are coming to 8X-Day at Brushwood, and you bought your Membership before 2005, and you didn't send in that verification postcard - BRING YOUR MEMBERSHIP CARD or that VERIFICATION POSTCARD or something so we can know you're a dues-paying minister. You should carry your memb-card on your person AT ALL TIMES, ANYWAY, in case of Rupsture. If you bought a membership during the Jesus-Magdalen time, 1996 to late 2004, especially if from CafePress, and didn't send in your card, THE ONLY PROOF that you are a Member is the physical card in your hand.

If, however, if you bought your Membership from Bulldada Time Control Labs, you are covered umpteen ways of Sunday in several backed-up databases as well on paper. Your Memb Pack was probably addressed by me by hand, and your address is in my email-records, EVEN IF you didn't send in the card.

(4 pm)

STANG GOES NUTS, DOES ALL BOBBIE WORK


I just got a wild hare and I JUST THIS AFTERNOON ENTERED ALL NEW MINISTERS to the database, WHETHER OR NOT they sent in that postcard. Everyone who bought a Membership from Bulldada Time Control is SAFE. It only took me a couple of hours because I was in THE TYPING ZONE.

Yes, I just typed in a few hundred addresses. 1st NAME - tab-2nd Name -tab - church name- tab - street address - tab - city - tab-state abbrev (I know them all by heart) tab -zip - NEXT RECORD!! COME OWN, m'f'k'r! BRING THEM OWN!!

Although I'd rather be editing video, I get a weird kick from doing this clerk work, address-typing, because for each name and address, I get a clairvoyant whiffreading fly-by, not so much from the individual, but of the street itself, the general feel and smell of the neighborhood. I'm sure it's completely imaginary, but by Gobbs it certainly makes things more interesting. Most are just plain suburban houses or apartments, but every now and then you get one that imparts a sense of special weirdness, creativity or doom. "Crescent Way in Johnsville, CA" -- nothing much there. (Although the member's name is "HITTLER"!) Plain street like where I grew up. Nice guy who doesn't live up to his name. But PO Box 999878 in Oceanside, CA? For some reason that connects to a house filled with SPIDERS, and a really FUCKED UP meth-head! Don't ask me, I just get these visions, I can't vouch for their accuracy.

Rev. Phloighd had volunteered to do all this typing, but since I was already in robotic manual-typing address-entry mode, I just STAYED IN IT and whipped through the whole damn thing myself. Not that I don't trust Phloighd, I just NO LONGER TRUST ANYBODY! - you wouldn't either, if you KNEW! If your $30 went to CafePress, or SubGenius bfore I took back over, YOU STILL BETTER SEND IN THAT POSTCARD and any change of address that might have happened in your life since then.

FIFTY REWARDIAN VOLUNTEERS ARE NO MATCH FOR ONE INSANE EMERGENTILE!! AHAHAHAHA

Other details learned:
THE MOST COMMON MALE SUBGENIUS NAME IS "JOSHUA"

Strangely enough, the final tally of known good addresses for Memberships in the U.S. is now EXACTLY 4200.

But there are still some from April to add in.

(6 pm)

I went nuts and added in ALL of the US Members. Now I am working on the FOREIGN.

This is another area where you gave to be careful re: what volunteers do. Foreign addresses are FUCKING WEIRD unless you've dealt with them some.

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF ESpECIALLY EVOCATIVE ADDRESSES:

"Dunstan's Rise"
"Calle de Guadenci"
36 SKETTY RD., UPLANDS
WEST QUAY , WIVENHOE, COLCHESTER
129 RUMBLINGWELL, DUNFERMLINE. FIFE
GEIR EGIL MYHRE, EBELTOFTVEIEN 8
59, AGBOYI RD. ALAPERE KETU LAGOS NIGERIA
NIEUWE HAVEN 57 DEN HAAG, ZUID HOLLAND
JACOB VERNH'J TRELDEVEJ 51 2, TH FREDERICIA

And... WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE FROM THE VALE OF GLAMORGAN, WALES??!?!?

**
It's ALL DONE.

FINAL (CURRENT) TALLY:

SUBGS IN US: 4223
SUBGS OVERSEAS: 680
LOST MEMBERS WE MIGHT SOMEDAY RELOCATE: 2919
LOST MEMBERS LOST FOR GOOD APPARENTLY: 23,978

These numbers do not include any Ministers who might have signed up via the CafePress catalog but did not send in any verification postcard.

Interesting Photographs of Naked SubGirl

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Extra-Large DOBBSHEAD-on-Black T-shirts back in stock

http://subgenius.com/scatalog/tshirts.htm

That is all...

Well, there's also the Cafe Press SubStore DobbsWear Collection.

teX-Day Report, Photos, Gossip

WE SURVIVED THE FIRST teX-DAY, and we have photos and verbal hyper-hype to prove it.

TeX-DAY DEVIVAL PAGE

These photos, and also a few more not shown here, are on alt.binaries.slack as well.

There are also TWO new Hours of Slack, #s 992 and 993, in the audio Slack stash.

New ART MINES Tunnel

Art Mines Tunnel 21
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/pics12/index.html


FIRE UP THAT FROPSTICK, ADJUST YOUR D-PENDS, AND BEHOLD:

Over 150 new pics by Mister F. LeMur

Over 150 new pics by Heart Ignition ((NOT FOR KIDS!!))

Over 150 new pics by IMBJR ((NOT FOR KIDS!!))

Over 60 new pics by Espira

The SubGenius Coloring Book by Artemia Salina ((ONLY for kids!!)

Over 250 new pics by everybody else. ((Kids!))

I think altogether there were about 800 pictures.

Bo-nanna's pieces are in real 3D and if you have the red-green glasses,
they work.

None of the pictures are by me except for the "X-Day Logo" section --
all of those are by Princess Wei and me, many using Rev. Abnorm Nihil's
keen "X-made-of-8-Xs" idea. Mostly it's the Princess's ideas and me
just doing the button pushing in Photoshop.

Most but not all came from a.b.s.; some was emailed to me.

You -- YOU, the SubGenius reading this now -- if you enjoy the art, you
might think about ordering something from the Bulldada Time Control
Scatalog. We're having a VERY tight month. I don't know if this is
common knowledge, but I have to pay for SubSITE, monthly, and it costs
more when we add art, and costs more yet again when the traffic is
heavy. Ordering a CDR with dozens of Hours of Slack or a DVD would help
pay for these art displays. It would help keep these great pages, and this great site generally, from going offline soon.

MAY 6-8: teX-Day -- outside Austin, Texas

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT YEAR IT REALLY IS?? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT PLANET THIS REALLY IS?

Do you REALLY know what condition YOUR condition is in?

I just got off the Interociter with Loke E. Coyote. He's got more bands signing up to play at teX-Day than he knows what to do with. (INCLUDING THE GREAT GROOVY NEPTUNE!!!!) That's GOOD, since EVERYBODY has to pay to get in. I just found out how much I'M gonna have to pay to get there and get in... but by Gobbs I'll do it ANYWAY!

I just can't bear to NOT! It WILL be a first teX-Day NOT TO MISS.

The location, High Rock Ranch, is a pleasant 40 minute drive from Austin -- 25 minutes if you already know the way, or are coming back TO Austin -- and the hosts are DEFINITELY COOL! I checked the scene out at their event last October, as did several other non-pagan Subgenii, and found it OF HIGH SLACK-CHARGE! Very much like Brushwood only without the hot showers or the pool. But there are plenty of chem-cans and a nice stage, gorgeous land, mysterious forests, weird caverns, a Sex Temple (really! -- not that you'd catch MY taint in that place), topless witches, big bonfires, and probably, in early May, very nice weather with only a slight chance of thunderstorms for 20 minutes every afternoon.

And Austin, now as big and safely Pink as Dallas, is within easy drive for those who fear scorpions and rattlesnakes. (I would think there are decent motels fairly close to the site.) I am planning to fly to Austin on Thursday and hie my and Wei's hines to the site on Friday. Princess Wei does not want to miss this either.

I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE WHINING ABOUT HOW "THE GOOD X-DAY DRILLS ARE ALWAYS IN NEW YORK, EEEEWWW!!"

EVERY SubGenius in Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Louisiana or Arkansas who doesn't make it to teX-Day is hereby declared in advance a TOTAL ABJECT PUSS-WAD.

There. Line drawn. Start crossing.

Here's my report from last October, with pictures.
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/Austin-10-09-04/Austin-04.html

Here's Loke's Flashimated teX-Day CARTOON:

http://www.wiccabilly.com/texday/

plus all the other pertinent info like directions to Red Rock, Texas.

The entrance fee has been LOWERED to only $25 if you REGISTER AHEAD. (CHEAPER THAN X-DAY at Brushwood!) $35 at the door.

FOLLOW THE LINK, OR LANGUISH LIKE A PINK!

New SubGenius Photo, Movie Stashes

http://flickr.com/groups/subgenius/

The above link to Flickr.com takes you to a new SubGenius web photo gallery started by Popess Lilith. She's already put a ton of very good selected material in there, under various SubGenialoid categories, and YOU CAN TOO!

Also: I got a wild hair and EDITED the Detroit Devival video that Wei and I shot 3 weeks ago. I even turned it into a DVD. I posted an excellent high-res SVCD copy of the whole 1-hour slick edit on alt.binaries.multimedia slack -- along with a recent recut of the 6X-Day footage, compacting the whole festival into TEN MINUTES. A smaller, low-res version of that is also on alt.binaries.slack.

I am busting ass trying to catch up on Hour of Slack, but in so doing I edited and posted mp3s of the most recent Winterstar Symposium preaching from February. If you ask me, it's the best job I've ever done at this kind of preaching (to the unsaved, not at a devival). Bits are on a.b.slack but the entire thing is on a.b.multimedia.slack.

The Book of the SubGenius back in stock

Despite efforts by The Conspiracy of All Dumbasses to keep our books from us, Bulldada Time Control Laboratories has procured a black market shipment of CHERRY copies of The Book of the SubGenius, Seventeenth Printing. Copies go fast. The Third Testament, Revelation X, is out of print, and copies are going for $25 to $30 if you can find them at all. Those cool Skull"Bob" shirts we were selling last week? GONE FOREVER. This could happen to The Book of the SubGenius at any second, so... well, you know what to do. Start saving up those bottlecaps.

Book of the SubGenius catalog listing: : http://subgenius.com/scatalog/books.htm

Detroit Devival photos uplifted

The Detroit Devival of 2005 was a fountain of Slack for me personally and a fountain of money for the Church and Dobbs. In some ways it was more like a sprung fire hydrant of Slack. I haven't dealt with the video yet (nor most of my email) but I did cull down, crop and crib the photos that Princess Wei took. Those and several great ones by Rev. Joy D'Veeve are now on SubSITE and alt.binaries.slack. PRABOB, and PRAISE THE AMINO ACIDS, who were really the instigators of this DIVINE MESS!
PHOTOS: http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/Detroit_3-19-05/index.html

aka http://tinyurl.com/54hmn

SUBGENIUS MEETUP – FILTHY ANIMATION – SUBVIDEO on NEW GROUP - New Alt.Slack Archive

YETINSYNY LOCATER/ GOOD SEX FOR MUTANTS DATING SERVICE reborn!

This service shows great potential for helping SubGeniuses locate each other. I have no doubt that it will lead to many sexings, friendships, and bitter fights!

subgenius.meetup.com


Pope David Lee Black says of it: “I have discovered at least 10 UNKNOWN Euro-SubGenii in 1 day through this site. I implore you to go to this site, join the London clench I created, one of the other EuroSubG clenchs, OR CREATE YOUR OWN for you respective country or town.” Also good for kook-hunting, pagan-peeking, Discordian discovering.

NEW NEWSGROUP UP AND RUNNING SUBMOVIES 24-7
Last night my Usenet newsgroup service, Giganews.com, started offering our new movies and audio group, ALT.BINARIES.MULTIMEDIA.SLACK. I actually jumped around and sang weird chants, alarming Princess Wei, I was so happy. PRAISE MODEMAC, who got the ball rolling. It’s already on EasyNews, Supernews (I think) and Verizon. You may have to pester your service to start offering it. They won’t add it automatically. Anyway, I posted the following in SVCD-ready MPEG2: The SubGenius Commercial, The X-Day Commercial, Bolex Bros.’ Day of the SubGenius, Codini’s Intermission and Adventures in Teen Life, Onan’s Confession, and the intense documentary by the late Danish SubGenius, Sverre Kristensen, Something New to Die For. These are kick-ass quality copies, almost as good as the ones on our DVDs.

GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE:
http://thorrific.com/christianpiratepussies.htm

Well, a hell of a ShorDurPerSav, anyway. I looked at this, turned to Wei and said, "I want to MARRY THEM." My friend Rev. Jim Blanchard turned me on to this.

Done by OKIES! More "Doktor" than Doktors 4 "Bob"! BEYOND fucked up.

“Christian Pirate Pussies.” They're pirates, but they're Christians, and they are vaginas. Vaginas with arms and legs, except for the captain, who has a peg-leg, and the vagina in the crow's nest, which has tits. The Southpark guys will be cutting off THEIR OWN FINGERS in jealousy! After viewing this movie, check out
http://thorrific.com/dubyabinzilla.html

Even YOUR lower jaw will hit the floor. This is the most stark take on 9-11 I've seen since "I LIKE TO WATCH." Every other animator is a WEENIE compared to this person or persons!

Then hit their main page, http://thorrific.com/ and go to the graphics section. Click on "HUMMERS ARE BAD ASS." These people are REAL. THIS IS *REAL* ART. On the same page, look at "BEEF BEEF BEEF." It will FUCK YOU UP GOOD.

The PHOTO GALLERY is likewise full of marvels. This guy (?) has a fine eye for po’buckerdom. Wei and I spent an hour at least going through this stuff. Great for family togetherness. Gather the kids around and enjoy quality family viewing time.


And the BEST NEWS OF THE DAY: yet another Conspiracy False “Bob” gets karmic payback. Don't fuck wit de "BOB".
Enzyte "Male Enhancement" Company BUSTED

ALT.SLACK ARCHIVE UPDATED

The ARCHIVE OF ALT.SLACK from JANUARY is now up at the Online Stark Fist, thanks to Rev. Fenian and Rev. Paco, who have spelled me in the saving and organizing of it.

Now, to celebrate, go to subgenius.com/scatalog/new_crap.htm

See you there, or at The Detroit Devival at The Magic Stick tomorrow night!

NEW SACRED SUBGENIUS PRODUCTRY

We don't like to abuse our privileges by spamming you. So we only spam you every now and then. This is one of those NOWs. We need some $ for gas to get to the Detroit Devival this weekend. That and the new structural additions to The Slackermansion.

The following THIRTEEN new products are SUDDENLY in the Bulldada Time Control SubGenius Website Catalog -- http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/new_crap.htm

Even if you're completely broke, you'll probably enjoy looking at the PACKAGING ART. Click on small product shots to get BIG views of the front and back graphics, which include some spectacular recent work by LeMur, Heart Ignition, iDRMRSR, IMBJR, Espira and others.

THIRTEEN SWEET SWAG-BABIES FROM THE CHILDREN OF "BOB":

Tree of Knowledge Poster (Huge slick color poster, by Mavrides/Stang - LIMITED SUPPLY)

Skull-Bob Black T-Shirt (VERY limited supply - 2 each of large, medium, XL - art by Espira)

Bumper Sticker: I'M MAD TOO, "BOB"(Large 12" weatherproof vinyl)

Media Barrage 3 CD - "Sex, Sickness and Slack" (This 1981 classic is SubG album is currently on alt.binaries.slack in MP3 -- but if you "can't download," you CAN BUY.)

12 Hours of Slack MP3 VOLUME 19 CDR (Excellent copies of shows up through #985, which hasn't even aired yet. This is a VERY GOOD cross-section and great sampler!)

12 Hours of Slack MP3 VOLUME 18 CDR

65 Hours of Slack in MP3 & OGG CDR (Lower-res versions of shows from #888 to 952 - some mono MP3, some low stereo Ogg Vorbis format -- quite a value for $15)

Hour of Slack LIVE MP3 Stash 2 CDR (A year's worth of just the live parts of the shows, mostly in-studio ranting and jive talk with background music and effects)

2004 EuroSubTour Devival & Radio Remix MP3 CDR (The equivalent of a 3 CD set - culled from the clips used on Hours of Slack)

6X-Day (plus 6 shorts) DVD (Include 62-minute edit of 6X, plus 2 music videos, the X-Day ad, Bug Porn, and 1955 home movies of "Bob"!

Uncut World of the Future (with 4 shorts including "The Human Animal") DVD

Hour of Slack in OGG VORBIS Vol. 4 CDR (22 shows (#956- 975) in GOOD quality stereo

58 Hours of Slack in OGG-lo CDR (ALL the existing lower-resolution (but still stereo) Ogg Vorbis versions of shows from # 930 to 988 - actually I won't have this one ready to mail out until April, as 988 isn't produced yet!)


I, Stang am most relieved to have these various items finally finished and moveable. They've been STACKING UP around here, like my email, and the hair-balls in the carpet around my office chair.

Cabinet

anigif by solar-max

MANY NEW SUBGENIUS BLOGS, DOWNLOAD OPTIONS, CHAT, WIKIs!

Do you want to post art, brags, rants to your fellow SubGenii, but are unwilling or unable to weather the rigors of alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack on Usenet?

BUT, already burned through all of the SubGenius Yahoo and MSN Groups?* (see below for list)

Here’s something NEW to die for:

http://slackoff.blogspot.com/

"SubGenius Reverend" is the name of this all-purpose SubBlog, begun by nu-monet but open to contributors of text, graphics, and sounds.

Anyone can leave comments appended to subjects, but to be able to start new subjects, you must be a “Blogger” member – to sign up, email your preferred username, password and email addy to: nu_monet@yahoo.com
***************************************

Here’s something more organized – in fact, potentially INSANELY organized.

Announcing The High Weirdness Project, a SubGenius wikipedia:

http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl

Including: The Bulldada News Blog:
http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl/Bulldada_Newsblog

And: SubGenius Badfilm Reviews Blog
http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl/SubGenius_Badfilms

Thanks to Modemac, you the visitor can add your own movie reviews. As he says, “You don't have to do an exhaustive essay on the symbolism of the underlying metaphor and the deeper meaning of why you enjoyed seeing Thora Birch show us her boobs in "American Beauty" (though it helps).”

For the past three years, Rev. Modemac has been involved with Wikipedia, contributing to that site's success. Lately, he has set up this working wiki at his own site, so as to allow for faster, easier edits... and to allow contributions from visitors.

It’s now open for mutants, SubGenii, Discordians, pagans, blasphemers, and other unmentionables far and wide to visit, read, and make their own contributions. For fellow mutants of the Church of the SubGenius, Modemac also offers you your own page on the Wiki, with links to your Web site or whatever sites you want to promote. Feel free to add your links to any parts of the page you find appropriate -- Other Mutants, Music, Books and Zines, Sex, or what have you.

Modemac says, “I founded the First Online Church of "Bob" as a way of opening people's eyes to the truth about the Conspiracy, so as to bring them Slack and achieve my own Slack in return. Here's hoping that the High Weirdness Project inspires you to make your own mark on the world.”

All of this is also accessed through Modemac’s sprawling, and now majorly updated, website:

First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

…probably the second most extensive SubGenius site in existence besides SubSITE… YET COVERING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF THE CHURCH! – such as the incredible stash of newspaper articles about the Church dating back to 1980:

http://www.modemac.com/submedia.html

Here’s the official Wikipedia SubGenius section:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_subGenius

*************************

Here’s a way to see and hear much of alt.binaries.slack without any special newsreader programs, just simply your web browser:

http://www.usenet-replayer.com/cgi/content/archive?scan=alt.binaries.slack

or http://tinyurl.com/6pe5j

******************

ALT. BINARIES.MULTIMEDIA.SLACK needs propagation!

Alt.binaries.slack has been, and remains, home to original SubGenius art and small video or MP3 audio clips. To post the many SubGenius videos, however, which are CDR-sized files, we have been using various existing newsgroups like alt.binaries.monter-movies and alt.binaries.movies.divx. WE NEEDED OUR OWN NEWSGROUP FOR THE POSTING OF DVD-SIZED MOVIES, whole Hours of Slack, etc.

IT IS CREATED, praise Modemac, and stuff has been posted to it, but that doesn’t mean that YOUR ISP CARRIES IT! In fact, mine doesn’t yet, and I don’t even use my local ISP for newsgroup access, but a specialty service called Giganews -- which carries pretty much EVERYTHING on ALL newsgroups.

But folks must let their newsgroup source KNOW that they want a particular new newsgroup, or it won’t get picked up. The more ISPs and newsgroup carriers like Newsguy that use it, the more thorough its coverage will be.

SO! Take a second for future Slack and email support@(your-isp.com) and ask them to carry the Usenet newsgroup, alt.binaries.multimedia.slack.

AND/OR, if you use Giganews, OR ARE MERELY THINKING OF USING IT SOMEDAY, go ahead and request it of them – they have a form for newsgroup requests and it’s real easy:

http://www.giganews.com/newsgroup_search.html?action=Search&fgroup=alt.binaries.multimedia.slack&go=Get+Group

or

http://tinyurl.com/5owak

*******

New ALTERNATIVE SubGenius IRC CHAT CHANNEL

For some time there’s been division in SubGenius chatland between the cantankerous, feisty contingent and the more laid back SubGenii. After too many drive-bys, the more laid back ones have created a new, bulletproof chat room. Point your IRC program at:

irc.taphouse.org
Once connected, join #subgenius
or you can use a browser to chat via
http://subgenius.com/subirc.html
– though to get the Java plug-in to work, you must TRUST IN “BOB”!

The old feisty, heavily booby-trapped chat room is still #subgenius on any fefnet branch – vendetta.fef.net, for example.


Other SubGenius interactive e-groups:

Yahoo “SubGenius” main group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/subgenius

Special X-Day Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xday/

EuroSubGenii:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Euro_SubGenius/

MSN “Praise “Bob”
http://groups.msn.com/PRAISEBOB/

DragonFly Clench: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DragonFlyClench/

**************************

Upcoming Events:

March 19
2005 Detroit Devival, at The Magic Stick, Detroit, Michigan

April 16
The Foundry in London, England

May 5 teX-Day outside Austin, Texas
http://www.wiccabilly.com/texday/


JULY 1-5, 2005: 8X-DAY: WORLD ENDS, Brushwood, Sherman, NY
Also:
EURO-X-DAY
VALENCIA, SPAIN

Late July: STARWOOD also at Brushwood

JAMAICA, August 17, 2005
PSYTOPIA

And we just decided to make BURNING MAN.

**************************

RECENT UPLOADS OF SUBGENIUS VIDEOS:

ARISE! The SubGenius Movie
6X-Day (23-minute recut, much slicker than the long version)
DAY OF THE SUBGENIUS by The Bolex Brothers
ADVENTURES IN TEEN LIFE by Champion Jack Codini
INTERMISSION by Champion Jack Codini
SubGenius Commercial
X-Day Commercial

All of the above were uploaded last week as MPEG1 on alt.binaries.vcd, and as DivX avi on alt.binaries.movies.divx

Next: Rev. Sverre Kristensen’s SOMETHING NEW TO DIE FOR from the Danish PAL vhs master, to DivX and SVCD.

The abovementioned movies will soon be on alt.binaries.svcd as very high-res MPEG2 files, and they’ll be on alt.binaries.multimedia.slack as soon as I get access to that myself.

The DivX avi and SVCD-style mpegs look damn near as good as the DVD versions of these… WHICH ARE OF COURSE AVAILABLE for $ (CHEAP) from
http://subgenius.com/scatalog/video.htm

Oh lordy, that reminds me, I have to go through and add PayPal buttons to the rest of the sacred and holy swaggarts and productry.

All I Wanted Was to Log Onto Nu-Monet's SubGenius Blog...

... but it forced me to start my own!

Well, it's a start, anyway.