Friday, June 17, 2011

Rev. Stang Reads "GREEN EGGS AND HAM" to his grandkids

Our OrthoStangian Convox for My Sib's Son's Perelithian Liaison

By Warden Fendant Stang and Primate Wei

Around May 26, after seeing the works of Saunt M. C. Escher at the Akronian Math, Primate Wei and myself were Vocoed for a Convox of OrthoStangians for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of the son of my sib, Anti-C!, and a Pruittessian suur. Because we had to leave the Slackianist Concent and venture extramuros, we obtained a new cartabla for our fetch.

Along the way we stayed at various small but famed maths, using a jeejaw to communicate with our fraas and suurs at each to alert them to our approach. Travelling extramuros, one is forced to break the Discipline, and I admit that we used not only jeejaws but syntactic devices at some inns sometimes even with the help of local Itas.

The roads were good and our fetch dependable, and much of the journey was pleasurable, for we passed many a productive fuel tree and page tree orchard. We often had to use super-Allswell and Jumpweed for trade, and to prevent its discovery by the agents of the Saecular powers (and attendant wasted hours before courts of dour local Panjandrums) we hid the Allswell and Jumpweed in the back of the fetch. Also, to keep the Extras from recognizing us as Avout, we traveled sans belt, chord or sphere, wearing sline's clothing and hiding our hair beneath headgear bearing kinagrams of sports teams.

Our first stop was at the Wisterian Concent for Dialogs both Suvian and Periklynian with the Hierarchs there, concerning multitudinous details regarding the 14th Apert of X-Day. Fellow OrthoSubGenians at this Convox included Suur Pisces, Suur Joy, Fraa Suds and Fraa Nigel.

At the nearby Spencerian suvin of the Centenarians Pater and Petal Nostril, we enjoyed a traditional Messal, as elaborate as any of legend for which this Clench is known.

At the Concent of Saunt Sophie, Fraa Frop and Suur Decadence presented us with a book of specfic entitled "Anathem" by the pre-Reconsititution writer Neal Stephenson. Fraa Frop later showed a speely about uncommonly young Vlor Saunts entitled "Kick Ass," which left an impression on Warden Fendant Stang.

The agrarian math of Pa Tilles likewise proved an instructive and most enjoyable hostel. Pa Tilles presented us with the Challenge of the Vanishing Calf, a calca none has yet to solve.

While conducting Dialogs with Saunt Byron Werner and Saunt Sterno in the Arkansanian Concent, new Dobbsharkian calcas involving more than one solution were developed. *

In the Concent of the OrthoStangians we stayed with the Thousander known as Pa Pappy, and prepared for the Aut of Perelithian Liaison of my fid. There was some suspense over this Aut, as my sib's former Perelithian partner, who had been rejected from the mathic world in the Aut of Anathem, nonetheless returned from a sline prison to the OrthoStangian concent for the ceremony. Fraa Frop, my sibs and I feared that he would go Hundreder during the Aut, and we were prepared to employ vlor against him. Luckily his spinal clamp prevented violence, and to his credit he left immediately upon the completion of the Aut.

We are now back inside the gates of the Northern OrthoStangian Concent, replete with many memories, upsights, and, I must confess, a few treasured if illicit speely recordings that later generations might hopefully use in their researches centuries hence.

* The most recent Weiardian calca:

Saunt NHGH asks of The Dobbs: "Man made booze; "God" made pot. Who do you believe in?"

The Dobbs replies:" Pot."