Wednesday, July 27, 2005


We/I have almost completely returned from the 25th Starwood Festival, in which we're involved as both organizers and performers. It's a big, weird festival -- ten times the size of SubGenius X-Day Drills, one-tenth the size of Burning Man. It's so weird that it takes a long time to fully return.

Princess Wei shot many evocative photos, and I have written up a fairly lengthy SubG-centric report; it's all now on SubSITE:

Stang's Report and Wei's photos of Starwood 25:


Saint Paul Krassner, who has delivered many hilarious sermons at the last several Starwoods, is writing up his own Starwood report for the normally staid The Nation magazine -- we're looking forward to that balancing act!

Next: PSYTOPIA, the psychedelics/consciousness convention in Jamaica! August 17-23.

All I want to do is EDIT ALL THESE TAPES!! But first I shall dutifully mail out the sacred swag that was ordered while we were gone, like a good Sacred Scribe. I know, I know, contradiction in terms.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Yes, SCREW EVERYTHING! The world ended, and we MAY HAVE DIED! That means we can take our SWEET TIME doing DAMN NEAR ANYTHING WE WANT!


Tumultuous events marked the 8X-Day Drill, and SubSITE now sports the reports, disrespectful wisecracks and galleries of dorkily lewd photographs from dozens of SubGenius Delegates to the 8X-Day Drill -- actually our TENTH Drill, if you want to get technical about it. We thank all the writers and photographers who tossed in their cookies, and everyone who made this event the violent and fractious Apocalypse Practice that it was.

Incidentally, the reports from alt.slack, which also include the 2005 BOBBIE AWARDS list, have been specially Stang-edited for readability, with repetition and other meaningless Internet garbage eliminated. And, the photo section also features new pics from teX-Day '05 near Austin.


The SubGenii returned bearing boxes of video and audio recordings. We are pumping those out onto Hour of Slack in refined form, and onto alt.binaries.slack and alt.binaries.multimedia.slack in raw form. Currently on both SubG binaries newsgroups there are hours of audio in MP3, including performances by special guest Dr. Howl, various other ranters, the Bulldada Auction, 8X-related live radio shows.

The newsgroup alt.binaries.multimedia.slack now holds several new and new/old SubGenius films in various digital formats, such as the 1-hour 7X-Day -- Share the Load, as well as a film ABOUT X-Day and the Church by non-SubGenii, plus 7-5-98, which solely depicts the 7 am climax of the 1998 X-Day gathering and the subsequent lynching of yours truly. The 7X-Day video is a barrage-edited GUT BLOWOUT, thanks to special guests Dr. Howl, Philo Drummond, Little Fyodor, The Amino Acids, Rev. Zorro, and many more Great Spazzmasters.

HOW TO USE USENET to get movies, etc


We celebrated our 1000th Hour of Slack just before 8X-Day; audio from the event fueled #s 1002, 1003, and 1004; and just for Emergentile Yuks we also cranked out our eighth "XXX-Rated Internet-Only" show, which is meant only for the ears of downloaders, bootleggers and our beloved Hour of Slack individual subscribers.

For a short time, ALL of those shows will be on SubSITE in hi-res (and also very lo-res) Ogg Vorbis format, and for a LONG time, all of them will be on the wonderful Radio4All site in good quality MP3.



Just before the world ends, in a frenzy of meaninglessness, we always manage to finish several projects for our Bulldada Time Control media catalog, and to add the most intense new designs to our CafePress SubStore of clothing, house wares, art objects etc.

In Bulldada, you'll find a new Best of SubGenius Albums collection (Hour of Slack 984 actually), a DVD collection of best shorts by SubGenii from the last two or three years ("10 Minutes 'Til Showtime), new bumper stickers, an all-LeMur album… and, in the Whizbangs section, 7 Bladed Windbreakers are back!


Our CafePress SubSTORE has a dozen new designs on men's and women's clothes, badges, carafes, throw pillows, framed art prints, you name it! There's so much new that the best idea would be to start at the newest new page, which is the deepest in, and then work your way backwards through the various tangential product lines.

We brought ONE EACH of all the new products to 8X-Day -- some are displayed among the very first photos in our 8X pics -- and they were mostly gone within minutes of the Swag Shack opening. Maybe we should have brought more than one each.


The great SubGenius preacher vanished -- went undercover for TWO YEARS, and at the end of that time revealed that he had not only successfully infiltrated the Jack T. Chick organization, but had produced a huge, DEFINITIVE book about the famous TRACT EMPIRE. Chick Comics are those little bitty free religious comic books that have provided so much joy to smirking hipsters and disbelievers. Wouldn't it figure that only a SubGenius Master would be able to pull off such an impressive guide to that whole world of Inadvertent Bulldada?

EVERY CHICK COMIC is REVIEWED in HILARIOUS DETAIL by Papa Joe. Chick's TRUE STORY is told. Every SHRED of trivia is covered, and all of the 226 pages are SLATHERED in illustrations, a lot of it in color. This book is an INCREDIBLE VALUE and a sure fire major-league collector's item -- GET 'EM WHILE YOU CAN!

The Art of Jack T. Chick

New QUIJIBO out - Greatest SubGenius Magazine

29th issue of this PHYSICAL, PRINTED-ON-PAPER ZINE was unveiled at 8X-Day. Includes: The Search for the Perfect Connie, Russians ranting about "Bob," teX-Day report, an alternate Dobbstown history by Rev. Chris Lee, hueyspewy, Dick Dobbs, Spamalot report, zombie movie reviews, hot pics.

ANY 2 ISSUES only $5!! Plus $1 for postage in U.S.: QUIJIBO CARTEL, 18 W. Main St. Suite X, Greenfield, IN 46140


Starwood: July 19 - 24 Sherman, Brushwood, Sherman, NY. Rev. Ivan Stang's sermon and video show will be on Saturday afternoon, following St. Paul Krassner's rant.

Held a couple of weeks after X-Day (on years that the world doesn't end), and at the same place, Starwood is the biggest neopagan conclave in the U.S. Here, SubGenii meet and mate with weirdoes of other faiths, see important countercultural speakers, enjoy intensely hedonistic nighttime activity (or "spiritual" activity -- WHATEVER!). The bands are usually excellent and the Saturday night bonfire is, truthfully, an East Coast alternative to Burning Man's Saturday nights.

Psytopia: JAMAICA, August 17-23, 2005

Check out this Psychedelic Convention in Jamaica! This has the potential for being the most EXOTIC devival situation yet. The host told us that the suggestion to have a devival at Psytopia came from none other than SAINT GEORGE CLINTON! -- who will also be involved in this event, along with artist Alex Grey, wise guy Ram Dass and other Illuminutilated Ones.


THANKS! -- to all the SubGenii who made 8X-Day the Ultimate Slack-Out that it was, as well as those who didn't, but made something ELSE an Ultimate Slack-Out. Many of you got Bobbie Awards -- paper certificates and ACTUAL 8-BALL-on-Pedestal AWARDS -- but were not at Brushwood to have them handed to you. Wei/I are gradually completing all the rest (they are calligraphically lettered) and mailing them to the Beloved Servants of "Bob" who earned them by sacrificing Conspiracy jobs, False Slack and entertainment for SubGenius-style TRUESLACK.


Your Dear Friend and Prayer Partner,

Sacred Scribe #273, Rev. Ivan Stang

Monday, July 11, 2005

ALL of Princess Wei's photos of 8X-Day on a.b.s.

Alt.binaries.slack now holds all the GOOD photos -- 192 of them -- that Princess Wei "R." Doe shot at 8X-Day. I will be putting all of the INTERESTING ones on SubSITE permanently -- but fewer than half of the ones I've posted to a.b.s.will be on SubSITE. So, get 'em while they're hot. A few actually are kind of hot. Others are just plain gross.

I'm waiting for reports and photos to roll in from a few more contributors before I put up an 8X-Day report on SubSITE.

We now have filled ALL orders that came in since we left for 8X-Day on June 26... although the ones going overseas were mailed only today.

Current job is to get a couple of new Hours of Slack slung together using some of the massive amount of material recorded at 8X-Day. Dr. Howll, Dr. Drummond and I did something like three hours of live radio from the stage, all told. And then there're all the other ranters and the bands. Lordy. Good thing EDITING IS SLACK for me, among other things.

A few days after we got home, I realized that the Hour of Slack in OGG VORBIS format has been undownloadable since July 6 or so. That's being fixed now. The MP3s are still there.

Next big SubVents: STARWOOD in a week and, in August, in Jamaica, PSYTOPIA! I am trying to ready special videos for both of those. Supposedly there's a Columbus, Ohio devival in October too, but we don't know the details yet.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Ceremonially doled out by Rev. Ivan Stang and Princess Wei "R." Doe at Brushwood Main Stage, Brushwood Folklore Center, July 3, 2005, 8X-Day Drill

Lifetime Achievement Award: Dr. Philo U. Drummond, OverMan 1st Degree

Best Speechifying: Dr. Howl

Most Realistic Human Cartoon: Lonesome Cowboy Dave

Best Escape Vessel: Brushwood

Most Conspicuous Absence: Jesus

IRC Maintenance: Rev. Weinholt and Rev. Ankara

Alt.Slack Writer Who Cracked Stang Up the Most: AssCo

Most Initiative: Rev. Hostage

Best Creator God and Sex God: Modemac

Least Recognized: Bachelors for "Bob"

Most Valued Craziest: The Gription Clench, Pammy and Random

Most Insistent Enabler: Dok Frop

Sexiest: Kali

Time and Rhythm Control: Rev. Nickie Deathchick

SubSITE Chassis Detailing: Rev. Fenian and Rev. Paco

Dripping CandelaBra of Connie Award: Overmistress Salacia

Hospitality/Best Sustainers of Life: Rev. Chris Mok & Rev. Ellis Dee

Best Diction: Rev. Alex Thompson

Best Dressed Preacher: Rev. Carter LeBlanc

Best New Pope: Pope Perro (Rev. Kay Wittke, Pope Keeper)

Rogue SubGenius Award: Pope Jimbo of Brighton

Coolest: Rev. Chris Lee

Sacred Garter of the Sodality of the White Glove of Connie: Heart Ignition

Most Exploited for Commercial Purposes: Espira

Best Recent Eruction of Dobbsheadism: Mister Fernandinande LeMur

Best Taste in Tastelessness: DJ Shaver

Best Invokers of Titanic Unseen Forces: The Amino Acids

Best Pope Black Imitation: Rev. ErRoR

Best Pronunciation of The Name of "Bob": Pope Mickey Finn

Planetary Science Research Grant Award: Uncle Dr. Onan Canobite

Nicest Mean Person: Pope Phil Monty

Best Blog/ SubGenius News Service: Rev. Nu-Monet V. 8

Most Balls: Governor Rocknar

Most True-to-Life Goddess In or Out of Costume: Rev. Susie the Floozy

Chaos Coordinator and Special Nepotism Award: Rev. Nickie Deathchick

Bulldada Preservationist Society -- Epopt 2nd Degree Special Award: Dr. Dark

Best Award Award: Her Highness Hellno

Least Killfiled: Rev. Joe Cosby

Unmasker of False Prophets: Nenslo

Sexiest Den Mother: Rev. Magdalen

The Unremembered Award Category Award: The Oyeh Guy ("Masturbating Shawn")

LongDurPerSav, HOUR OF SLACK: Mister Fernandinande LeMur

Best Non-Old Radio Doktor: Dr. Sinister, Radio Synaesthesia

Everything: Pater Nostril

Worst Role Model: Banjo Bob

Best Role Model: Dok Frop

Sharer of Most Wanted Knowledge Erasers: Rev. Joseph, Daddy of Jesus

Keeper of Sifu: Rev. Diana

Most Brain-Scrambling String-Bending: Rev. Angry Larry

Best Stage Presence: Rev. Ed Strange's Pulpit

Inspirational Good Humor Amidst Slacklessness: iDRMRSR

Best GuitCollage: Rev. Norel Pref

Most Patient Wife: Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortis

Best Children's Books: (TIE) IMBJR / Rev. Artemia Salina

Participation Award: the late Rev. Eris Pagana

Friday, July 08, 2005

Good Online Article about Starwood


Well written front page article about Starwood in the Cleveland weekly,
Free Times, with uncredited photos by Rev. Steve Chekey and Pater
Nostril. "Meredith," who closes the story, is Princess Wei. Yes, it's
true, the most sacred Can of All Starwood Bonfire Ashes is in the same
glass display case as The "Bob" Museum. I am quoted some, although the
writer spells SubGenius the way humans do, with a lower case g.

Several of the SubGenii who were at 8X-Day are planning to attend
Starwood this year. I'll be delivering my sermon and some background
video projections on Saturday afternoon on the main stage at 5 pm,
following Paul Krassner or RU Sirius or whichever other hop-head has
the 3 pm slot. As long as I'm not up against the Nude Body Painting
Workshop this time.

Writhing in Slack After 8X-Day

It's the SubGenius New Year. Everything is renewed, refreshed, rebuilt, reconstructed.

Every X-Day Drill, when the world doesn't end, a new version of Nu-Monet comes out -- as does a new version of every SubGenius, although most of them aren't labeled as such, like Nu-Monet is.

Every X-Day, because we move half of our Throne Office to the stage at Brushwood, we CLEAN the Throne Office for the first time since the world last failed to end. I'm strangely HEALTHIER after an X-Day Drill, having involuntarily pumped up from days of swaggarting, packing, moving, unpacking, socializing, walking all over the campground, ranting, spazzing, etc. My very soul-gland is exercised and trod upon until it's leathery and buff, and my memory is cleansed by the finest 'Frop, scoured of impure remembrances and pretty much everything else. It's like getting one's overgrown brain-yard mowed.

I just finished putting my freshly dust-covered electronics back together, on freshly dusted tables and desks, after dusting it all, and why, it's almost like a brand new pristine Escape Office, especially with the recent donation of a near-MWOWM-level Earth computer by the Gription Clench.

I feel GREAT! This was certainly the most Slackful Drill ever for me personally. I never freaked out! I barked at Dr. Drummond once when he tried to fix the unbroken parts of my temporarily broken sound system, but I do that almost habitually if I see him messing with my equipment, ever since THAT ONE TIME, which I will NEVER let him forget.

7X-Day, last year, was NOT pleasant for me. That year, I had resolved to get the kind of Slack everybody is always telling me I should get, and I was CONSTANTLY DISAPPOINTED, because, DURING X-DAY, THAT IS NOT SLACK FOR ME. At X-Days, Slack for me IS running around trying to meet every single person at once while filming anything even remotely interesting and hunting down blown fuses with Pater Nostril and listening faux-patiently to insane or young people telling me insane or young things while I'm wondering just where I put that adapter that I'm going to need in a few minutes after I find an extension cord for this video projector. When I just GIVE IN to the Emergentile Force, and let IT run ME, then I not only get everything done (or close enough for the girls we go out with) but I also get a massive dose of Slack Awareness.

So, I managed to exploit my Emergentile Slack to the MAX, and then every night when it was too late to have giant noise, and the stage show was over, Princess Wei and I did our fair share of hedonistic partying. Heck, we even DRANK! Yes, on Sunday night we drank a beer each and a hit of rum or something! On Monday night we drank a cup of wine and some kind of weird liqueur! By Tuesday night, we were slamming down Lord Ferg's Fighting Cock whiskey right out of the jug and chasing it with Cokes! Hell, we figured, the world's ending, or something; it's 8X-Day anyway, so WHY NOT LIVE DANGEROUSLY!

I probably drank almost as much at 8X-Day as a human drinks in a... a DAY!

Every night at about 3 in the morning, we went to the Secret Elite Second Hot Tub and there we found yet more ways to get in touch with and amplify our INBORN SLACK.

We never went to bed on X-Day-eve; we kept ourselves awake, USING PURE SLACK! We were the first ones at the pavilion, around 6:30 a.m., and we were shaved, shined, shampooed and ready to leave our Earthly shells looking their best when we vacated them. There was a record crowd of Those Who Don't Wuss Out at the spirited 7-A.M. countdown, with none of the corny "Stang, into the pond" crap, because I threatened to kick the ass of anybody who pulled that trite bullshit.

Now that I think about it, I'm not actually real sure what DID happen at 7 a.m. But I know I had working batteries in the video camera this time, so somewhere there must be a record of what "Bob" did to us. If anything. (BUT WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER THAT PART?!?!?)

Evidently NASA's attempt to start an intergalactic war between the Xists and Yacatisma by firing bombs at a Yist scout ship on July 4th WORKED, because neither of the great space races appear to be paying any more attention to "Earth" than normal.

We had so unexpectedly much Slack at the 8X-Day Drill that we stayed at Brushwood an extra night. We returned Dr. Howll to California yesterday via the Cleveland airport, and the Frop-Decadences back to Ft. Worth this afternoon.

There are two CASH BOXES behind me. One came from Rev. Nickie Deathchick's Swag Shop and one came from Rev. Magdalen's Registration Desk. I have not opened them.

I must assemble an Hour of Slack BUT FAST! HOOO-hah! We have the usual godzumptillion digital photos, soundboard recordings of the bands and jams and the hours of "radio" that Dr. Howl and Philo and I did, and something like 9 hours of DV video plus another 5 or 6 hours that Rocknar shot and handed to me.

I will strive to get the Bobbie Award list and the photos posted within a reasonable time. I intend to attempt to edit the 8X-Day footage SOON this time. If nothing else I can probably get a 2-minute VCD mpeg of the teabagging online soon. I LOVE doing this shit, but I have run out of hard drive space until I either get this new supercomputer up and running, or edit the Winterstar DVD and get the master off my drives, and also there were quite a few swag orders that stacked up since June 26, yet the leftover swag is all strewn across the reception room three stories below, so it might be bzzz bzzz bzzz PRABOB PRABOB PRABOB bzzz bzzzz click

To Be Continued